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View Poll Results: Was the question on the verge of insulting
Yes 41 80.39%
No 10 19.61%
Voters: 51. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 08-20-2013, 09:27 PM
 
23 posts, read 35,508 times
Reputation: 40

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OK, this has gotten very funny. Your first post now has ETA: read post 18 before replying. However, post 18 suggests that reversing the roles makes no difference (and I agree). *funnies*
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:49 AM
 
Location: New England
1,132 posts, read 2,057,962 times
Reputation: 1981
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Honestly, OP, you both sound a little crazy. Him for being an OCD control freak, and you for taking anything an OCD control freak says or does on a personal level. He's obviously nuts - so why do you care? Does your wife defend him or something or does she know he's also crazy? Limit your contact and view him with tolerance, kindness and amusement when you do have to be around him. What exactly do you want to happen?
Oh, I am a little crazy. It's not taken so much on a personal level, maybe a little more as venting. The things that you have to deal with when associating with people, in general, amazes me.

My wife doesn't defend him, she just blows it off unless he makes a really absurd comment. Like I said, I was venting here on the forum and know that nothing is going to happen or change. Maybe just knowing that others can relate prevents me that flight to the Golden Gate Bridge. (humor)

Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Eh, next time he asks hand him the sponge with bubbles on it and a dish and go sit down, relax and watch television. No need to say a word.

Now that would be fun to do.
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Old 08-21-2013, 03:59 AM
 
Location: New England
1,132 posts, read 2,057,962 times
Reputation: 1981
Quote:
Originally Posted by doubtful_optimist View Post
OK, this has gotten very funny. Your first post now has ETA: read post 18 before replying. However, post 18 suggests that reversing the roles makes no difference (and I agree). *funnies*
Hi Doubtful_optimist, yeah, I had that added by a mod basically so that I wasn't the one that looked like a jerk. (not that it matters on a message board). I like to go through life as, live and let live, and treat people the way you want to be treated.

So many people that you come in to contact with are not that way. It's refreshing when you meet someone who is a truly nice person.
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Old 08-21-2013, 09:10 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,769,309 times
Reputation: 25416
It's always rude to criticize someone who is trying to do something nice for you. And yes, asking "did you use soap?" is just another way of saying, "I bet you didn't use soap, you idiot."
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Old 08-21-2013, 04:34 PM
 
Location: Austin
295 posts, read 311,802 times
Reputation: 345
There's something in a man's nature that makes him think his son-in-law can't pour **** out of a boot. I don't care if his little girl married Albert Einstein. I grew up seeing my grandfather treat my dad that way, and now it's everything my dad can do to hide his abject contempt for my brothers-in-law, who are both nice, employed, respectful guys and good fathers.
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Old 08-21-2013, 04:56 PM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,462,523 times
Reputation: 28900
Quote:
Originally Posted by dfour View Post
Thanks for the replies

Now, does reversing the roles make any difference??? NO , it shouldn't. Put me as the son-in-law. And the anal know-it-all FIL asking the question. His house, his question.

I'm doing dishes, using soap as always, and get this question. This is how he talks to people.

I reversed the roles for a reason, not to mislead anyone, as the situation is still the same. Feel free to keep replying.

I'd just say "of course, I used soap," and look at him like he had a third eye in the middle of his forehead or something.

And if he complained, well, a friend of mine has a saying that I just love: There are two ways of doing this, my way and do it yourself.
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Old 08-22-2013, 12:56 AM
 
Location: SGV
24,646 posts, read 9,573,036 times
Reputation: 9689
Quote:
Originally Posted by dfour View Post
The things that you have to deal with when associating with people, in general, amazes me.
Try having dinner with my parents. It's an insane asylum over there. You won't get asked about soap usage but you'll get scolded for using "too much" water, washing dishes "out of order", putting leftovers in the "wrong" container, etc.

Mind you the "kids" in my family range from mid 30s to early 50s. This has been going on forever too.
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Old 08-22-2013, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,581 posts, read 54,188,638 times
Reputation: 65726
Quote:
Originally Posted by dfour View Post
Test thread.

Scenario. Relatives over the house for lunch. A dish was washed by hand by a younger in-law that doesn't care for me much, (I'm an anal, know-it-all, yeah, I know).

I ask if he washed the dish with dish soap or just water. They evade the question, answering that "they don't mind washing dishes". I answer that I meant the soap part of the question, and hope they didn't mind me asking the question. They say no.

Insulting question or not??? Or your take on it.

ETA: please read post #18 before voting/replying.
I would have answered you the same way. If you're going to be nasty, I might pretend I didn't hear what you just said just to give you a chance to take it back by providing a neutral response.
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