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Old 08-22-2013, 10:13 AM
 
Location: Chicago
3,569 posts, read 6,000,573 times
Reputation: 2577

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So there's a girl who was my friend and I've known for a couple of years. She's engaged now with a guy who doesn't like me after seeing some of my texts to her.(Before they where engaged)
Anyway, we did have sex when she was single. Not in a relationship, just cus. No real love.

I tried and tell her maybe we should stop speaking to each other now that she's engaged and all that.
But I've still seen her a few times. Just on a talk/lunch/cruise type of thing. Nothing that would be considered romantic at all.

But I still feel weird. Is continuing this a bad idea? Is it possible to be just friends?


I think maybe if her fiance didn't have animosity towards me, it would be ok. But that changes things. Right?
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,310,401 times
Reputation: 39844
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alacran View Post
So there's a girl who was my friend and I've known for a couple of years. She's engaged now with a guy who doesn't like me after seeing some of my texts to her.(Before they where engaged)
Anyway, we did have sex when she was single. Not in a relationship, just cus. No real love.

I tried and tell her maybe we should stop speaking to each other now that she's engaged and all that.
But I've still seen her a few times. Just on a talk/lunch/cruise type of thing. Nothing that would be considered romantic at all.

But I still feel weird. Is continuing this a bad idea? Is it possible to be just friends?


I think maybe if her fiance didn't have animosity towards me, it would be ok. But that changes things. Right?
Yes, it changes things.

Be a class act - back off and only speak to her if you run in to her. Don't text, don't meet up, nothing.

The fact that she isn't telling you this herself spells trouble for her future marriage.
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:23 AM
 
2,350 posts, read 4,456,494 times
Reputation: 2966
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alacran View Post
So there's a girl who was my friend and I've known for a couple of years. She's engaged now with a guy who doesn't like me after seeing some of my texts to

But I've still seen her a few times. Just on a talk/lunch/cruise type of thing. Nothing that would be considered romantic at all.



I think maybe if her fiance didn't have animosity towards me, it would be ok. But that changes things. Right?
See if she might want to go on a cruise with you since you're only friends.

My wife wants to go on vacation with another guy?
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Old 08-22-2013, 10:31 AM
 
1,478 posts, read 1,891,343 times
Reputation: 2508
It's up to her and her fiance to define the boundaries of their relationship, and what is acceptable and not.
I don't think the relationship is your business, if someone is your friend, then that friendship is the only concern you should have. HOWEVER...

I do agree with the above poster, too. If I were you, I wouldn't want the drama, or potential drama, or problems. Maybe he would have an issue and come to confront you at an inconvenient time - do you really want to deal with that? Is it really worth it? She already knows he has issues with her hanging out with you, she used to have sex with you, so why would she continue hanging out with you knowing this could cause her problems in her relationship? If I were you I'd back off just to save myself any potential issues in my own life. Sure, morally it could be the right thing to do, but if that isn't a concern at the very least I think you could be saving yourself a lot of unnecessary trouble. What good could possibly come of this "friendship"? Is it worth risking being caught in the middle of a possible blow-up between the 2 of them?
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:29 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,324,764 times
Reputation: 1316
Men and women cannot just be friends. Leave her alone.
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Old 08-22-2013, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Mesa, AZ
451 posts, read 624,908 times
Reputation: 1164
The answer to this really depends on the maturity level of all those involved. From what I'm reading, I'd say your course of least drama is going to be to back off and at least allow her to be the one who sets the tone of if/how your friendship is going to continue.
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Old 08-22-2013, 05:20 PM
 
1,787 posts, read 4,961,025 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alacran View Post
...She's engaged now with a guy who doesn't like me after seeing some of my texts to her.(Before they where engaged)
Anyway, we did have sex when she was single. Not in a relationship, just cus. No real love.

I tried and tell her maybe we should stop speaking to each other now that she's engaged and all that.
But I've still seen her a few times. Just on a talk/lunch/cruise type of thing. Nothing that would be considered romantic at all.

....Is continuing this a bad idea?......

I think maybe if her fiance didn't have animosity towards me, it would be ok. But that changes things. Right?
You were sending texts to her while she was dating him, so why wouldn't he have animosity towards you? You had sex without being in a relationship with her and you see her now and it's still not considered romantic...nothing has changed really; what's to stop sex from happening again? I mean your reason was "just cus."

Are you staying in touch because you want to stay friends or you're hoping for another chance for sex? You need to stay away from her. If she keeps trying to get in touch with you, run.
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Old 08-22-2013, 05:28 PM
 
2,350 posts, read 4,456,494 times
Reputation: 2966
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
Men and women cannot just be friends. Leave her alone.
What happens if he or she is "ugly enough"?
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Old 08-22-2013, 05:31 PM
 
1,787 posts, read 4,961,025 times
Reputation: 1280
Quote:
Originally Posted by plmokn View Post
What happens if he or she is "ugly enough"?
He or she wasn't "ugly enough" to not have sex.
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Old 08-22-2013, 05:33 PM
 
2,350 posts, read 4,456,494 times
Reputation: 2966
Quote:
Originally Posted by timneh5 View Post
He or she wasn't "ugly enough" to not have sex.
Even I have my standards. I don't "do" anything lower than a 0.69 on a scale of 0 to 10. Which means I have lots of chick friends in the 0.0 to 0.68 range that I don't want to "do".
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