U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: If a past tormentor of you was terminally sick, how would you feel?
I would feel vindicated and not sorry for them at all 22 18.03%
A part of me would feel satisfied, another part would feel pity 17 13.93%
I'd feel nothing, I wouldn't care 52 42.62%
I would feel sorry for them and would tell them I forgive them and make peace 31 25.41%
Voters: 122. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-24-2013, 01:41 PM
 
12,985 posts, read 15,327,316 times
Reputation: 15163

Advertisements

I would probably vacillate between the first three choices. For sure not the last one UNLESS the person had apologized and asked to be forgiven. You don't forgive someone who shows no remorse for what they did. And if they were only remorseful because they were now dying, and if they weren't dying would be the same as they always were, I'm not sure I would accept that.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-24-2013, 02:02 PM
 
Location: Columbia, California
6,662 posts, read 26,219,361 times
Reputation: 5088
Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22 View Post
Would you feel sorry for them, or would you feel like they were being punished for what they did to you/for being a horrible human being?
Why would any sane person even spare a single second reflecting on a past bully? Do not let them even rent a space in your head.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 02:04 PM
 
2,245 posts, read 2,859,383 times
Reputation: 2478
Are we talking 5 minuters after school graduation at age 15~
or are we talking higher like highschool~ in later teens.

at 15 i'd probably go "ha-ha there u go"
but now I'd be pretty neutral to it.

I was bullied for some period of time in school, but now I even have to think long and hard to remember their names. I've crossed some of them on the street a few years ago and we caught each others eye, noone said anything and that was that. I think somebody would have to be pretty much a moron to keep those grudges held over the years...

If they'd get cancer I wouldn't be bothered, but I wouldn't crack the champaign neither.
pretty much the same as any stranger.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 02:39 PM
 
4,054 posts, read 3,072,910 times
Reputation: 5575
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
Why would any sane person even spare a single second reflecting on a past bully? Do not let them even rent a space in your head.
Exactly, that is why I choose option #3. I did have dealings with one adult bully and she is going through some tough times, even without cancer in the picture, since I departed from the shared setting we were in. Her enablers are now in the minority and she is being held accountable for her actions. Do I feel vindicated? No because I did not let her impact my life. I left that shared setting on my own terms for something better.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,571 posts, read 33,297,972 times
Reputation: 32138
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
Why would any sane person even spare a single second reflecting on a past bully? Do not let them even rent a space in your head.
Sorry, it ain't that easy trust me. I had some trumatic stuff done to me by those bullies, stuff that is not easily forgettable.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 04:09 PM
 
5,190 posts, read 4,029,653 times
Reputation: 13168
Quote:
Originally Posted by ferretkona View Post
Why would any sane person even spare a single second reflecting on a past bully? Do not let them even rent a space in your head.

Have you ever been bullied? If you have, you will find that sometimes it's not that easy.

The better question is: Why would a sane person bully someone?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 04:30 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,221 posts, read 39,759,578 times
Reputation: 41684
The problem I have is that a lot of school bullies grow up to be adult bullies, I see it all of the time, they end up in positions of authority or other jobs where being a "bully" isn't recognized as being a dick. For example, in the construction industry general contractors, the guy who gets it done types, or at least the ones that think they do, they straight out try and bully you into doing things that aren't in your scope of work or get you to not give them changes orders for more money, things of that nature.

I've sat in meetings and watched it first hand for myself.

So that being said, good riddance, hope it's a long drawn out type of cancer too............. we need nicer people on this planet.....

If that sounds harsh or offends... sorry.....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 06:01 PM
 
Location: White House, TN
5,560 posts, read 3,902,826 times
Reputation: 3472
Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty View Post
What? So, 18 is the magical number when people suddenly knows right from wrong? What about high school bullies? 15, 16, 17?

So you are responsible enough to hold a job and drive, but you don't know that it is wrong to taunt another person?

These excuses baffle me.
18 was an example. I agree 14 or 15 should be the cut off. I'll say 9th grade.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Between West Chester and Chester, PA
2,586 posts, read 2,284,166 times
Reputation: 4360
Quote:
Originally Posted by belmont22 View Post
Would you feel sorry for them, or would you feel like they were being punished for what they did to you/for being a horrible human being?
If they haven't reached out to me later in life to apologize for the BS they put me through, I wouldn't give a damn. So far none of them have, and it's mostly because they were murdered before their 21st birthday. I didn't feel bad about their deaths back then. I still feel no pity now. I feel they probably provoked or screwed over the wrong person and got what was a long time coming.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-24-2013, 06:34 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
12,474 posts, read 14,958,937 times
Reputation: 12030
I wouldn't care.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:20 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top