U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
View Poll Results: If a past tormentor of you was terminally sick, how would you feel?
I would feel vindicated and not sorry for them at all 22 18.03%
A part of me would feel satisfied, another part would feel pity 17 13.93%
I'd feel nothing, I wouldn't care 52 42.62%
I would feel sorry for them and would tell them I forgive them and make peace 31 25.41%
Voters: 122. You may not vote on this poll

Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 08-22-2013, 04:48 PM
 
2,096 posts, read 3,833,443 times
Reputation: 1214

Advertisements

Would you feel sorry for them, or would you feel like they were being punished for what they did to you/for being a horrible human being?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-22-2013, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,294,482 times
Reputation: 39844
Strive to take the high road instead of so easily jumping in the pig sty to wallow in the mud
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2013, 09:17 PM
 
16,779 posts, read 14,432,337 times
Reputation: 37803
How old was the person at the time? Are we to hold children responsible for ignorant, childish behavior for the rest of their lives? Should they be punished by disease or death?

No. You forgive and try to understand. They were going through something too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-22-2013, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,123 posts, read 11,998,568 times
Reputation: 16543
How would I feel is so different than what would I think.
Feel?
That, wow everything I have learned since the 70s seems to be true...one
being anger and cancer really do go together....pent up anger or expressed over
and over ...the nicest people who have cancer...have some deep anger in them A LOT!
So I would "feel" a confirmation in my gut.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2013, 04:43 AM
 
Location: In a chartreuse microbus
3,853 posts, read 5,286,251 times
Reputation: 8011
Apply one of my favorite rules regarding life in general: Did you cause it? No. Can you fix it? No. Pity or guilt are out. You can pray for their recovery if you believe. I have to agree with Miss Hepburn in so far as lifelong anger and meaness can indeed cause health problems.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2013, 06:18 AM
 
3,445 posts, read 5,040,629 times
Reputation: 6092
This same thing happened to me. Guy use to be one nasty pain in the butt to me in high school. He was just nasty and arrogant to begin with. Finally came to blows one day, nothing too serious, but it put an end to his harrassment. We had no interaction the rest of the time in school but he remained a dirtbag to all except his chosen hangers- on.

About 15+ years ago i find out he became a successful international banker. That was in his obituary where it stated he died of cancer. He was only around 40.

I didnt feel vindicated nor sorry. Sort of an empty non caring feeling. Unlike how i felt when one of the nicer classmates of mine died in the first Gulf War.

And just an aside...standing up to a bully usually ends it. When we got into our little fight he backed of. Of course thisvwas a time before schools would get crazy about two teenagers trading a few blows. Now they call the police, parents and school psychologists....that never stops the bully,
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2013, 06:19 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,563 posts, read 33,282,476 times
Reputation: 32116
While I pity anyone who has a terminal cancer, I'd chalk my bullies' ailment up to the universe catching up with them. You cannot be that purposely cruel for years and have the capacity to know you are doing wrong which normal HS students have without consequences.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2013, 06:50 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,168,615 times
Reputation: 4297
I wouldn't be skipping around and going "neener neener," but it would be another bit of evidence that often what you put out, comes back. Karma.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2013, 08:26 AM
 
469 posts, read 551,119 times
Reputation: 847
Default It's a hard question

When I was a newly-married woman, my husband had a friend who consistently put me and others down; in fact, was unbelievably rude and abusive to his own parents and his then-wife. Never could understand why my husband considered him a good friend because "Tom" openly took advantage of my husband all the time at the same time he mocked him and made fun of him.

About a year ago, my daughter sent me Tom's obituary and apparently he had died of cancer. The obit described he had joined a church that he was active in and was evidently well thought of in his community and career. All I could say was something to the effect that it appeared he had gotten his life together, learned to appreciate people, was a positive and happy person. At the same time, I had a little feeling of "maybe he got what he deserved," and I'm not proud of feeling/thinking that, but it's the truth.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-23-2013, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Work in NYC - Live in Philly - Transplant from Miami
2,304 posts, read 2,186,847 times
Reputation: 2599
I would feel awful that the person got cancer - being diagnosed with cancer is not fun at all.
But I wouldn't lie that I will have a feeling of being "vindicated"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:43 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top