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Old 08-31-2013, 10:12 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 4,308,366 times
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I graduated from high school in 2012. And from what I understand, it's completely normal to lose contact with people. There are 4 people who I consider myself very close with, and I thought that our friendships would continue. Unfortunately, I feel like the only one working towards these friendships (except for one). I wanted to know what would you do if you were in my shoes and if you could tell me about friendships you maintained after high school. I used false names, of course.

Diana
This was my longest and strongest friendship. She goes to school in state; however, she never remains in contact. Every time we've met up (twice), it's because I initiated it. She takes days to respond to text messages, and you can forget phone calls with Diana.

Elizabeth & Taylor
These are two great people, but they never call or text. When we meet up, I get the "I've missed you so much!" but I think it's a load of bullsh*t. In my mind, if I miss someone I'll pick up the phone and let them know.

Amber
Surprisingly (she goes to school out of state), she is the only one I keep in contact with. We call each other frequently. Whenever she's in town, we see each other. She's a great gal and I going to visit her this Christmas. I see us being friends forever.

Last edited by Pinkmani; 08-31-2013 at 10:41 AM..
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:27 PM
 
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When people graduate high school, their lives change significantly. Most move on to college, some get married and start families immediately, and some get right into work. It's a chaotic stage of life. This, coupled with the fact that people in their 20s are typically extremely self-centered, means that a lot of people are just focused on themselves at this time.

The best thing that YOU can do is focus on yourself. Focus on school, your job, whatever it is that you're working towards. Focus on saving money and taking the steps you need to take to build a good life for yourself. Go out and live your life, be social and let friends come to you. Don't worry about chasing after people who are wishy-washy about your friendship. Let them be, because miserable people usually stay miserable and that will only hold you back in life.
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:32 PM
 
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I was "friends" with my high school friends for many years after high school, until I realized that we were all very different, and really had nothing in common, except for high school. We were friends, to hang out with each other, talk to each other, but really, it was like holding onto an old pair of shoes, that you never wear any longer. I cut myself off from the ones I felt added nothing to my life, at all.

Some things don't last forever...move on.
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:35 PM
 
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stava is right-you are on your own path, and they are on theirs,,

after high school, you are an adult,,,on your own,,alot happening and alot of changes,,

thats normal,,,,,friends always disperse..but also keep in mind,,,most of the time they arent ignoring you,,they are just very "busy" and sometimes friends do fall on hard times,,,,and they often keep to themselves..
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Old 08-31-2013, 05:44 PM
 
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It's not just high school, when I move I try to keep in contact but I find it's always one-sided. It's annoying, but what can you do? I hate it. I was just thinking how my birthday just passed, and I didn't hear from a couple people. I spent my birthday with them a few years ago; we were all super close. Now, they don't even know it's my birthday anymore. Yeah, it sucks, but what can you do? You can't force it. It has to be a 2-way street.

If I were you, I'd keep making effort with Amber.
I would not bother with Elizabeth and Taylor. From what you say, they sound fake anyway.
I'd probably at least give it time with Diana. If you want to contact her again, fine, but wait a few weeks.
I would stop making all the effort. Sounds like Amber is the only one that is, so she'd be the only one I'd keep making effort for. Believe me, I know it sucks. I've gone thru this A LOT (being part of the military community I've moved and lost contact with tons of people) so I'm sure you don't want to have to lose people, but it'll happen. You can't force it, if they aren't doing their part you just have to let them go.
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Old 08-31-2013, 07:09 PM
 
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Friends come and go in life. Most high school friendships evaporate fast after ppl graduate from high school. A lot of kids lives changes so fast once they walk across that stage. Some go to the army, some go off to college, some decide to go to the work force, or some decide to start families very early. The little things that you and your friends had in common in high school will be enough for the friendship to dwindle. People grow and change. People start to figure out who they are and what they want to do in life. Don't take it to heart. People become busy with their lives. The best thing you can do is try to stay and touch. If you are the only one that is trying to keep in touch, well it is time to let them go. I think the strongest of friendships within stand hardships and the length of time.
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Old 08-31-2013, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Arizona
8,238 posts, read 8,580,804 times
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Keep in touch with Amber. For the others do nothing. You don't have to cut them off. Just do nothing and they will disappear. If they decide they want you for a friend they will contact you.

You will find out that high school friends hardly ever stay together. Mine did into our 20's, but the group got smaller and smaller over time. People move, change, whatever.
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:06 PM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
19,719 posts, read 16,748,987 times
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Friends do come and go all through your life. There were guys I hung out with every day of my life when I was in school, and even up into our late 20's. But one by one they drifted away, or I moved out of State and we lost touch. You will find that as you age you will find new friends, some at work and some other places.

I have also found that you can generally count on one hand the TRUE friends you will have in your life. I mean, the ones who don't want anything from you except to be your friend, and who are always there for you in thick and thin times. Other people may be acquaintances and somewhat close friends, but only a few will be ones you can always count on being there.

Don
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:46 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
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1) The first 10 or so years after high school are tough. You and all your high school buds are busy going to school, getting jobs, building new relationships, sorting out your places in the world. Do not expect things to be as they were when you were all herded together at high school.

2) People will come and go in your life. That means not only will you find new friends, but that old friends will come back into your life. With some of those old friends, you'll find that you can pick up right where you left off.

3) Not every relationship is equal. Sometimes, one person will work harder on it than the other. That dynamic, should the relationship last long enough, will reverse itself at some point.

4) Sporadic communication is still communication. Stay in touch with your friends, even if it's only an annual text or e-mail on their birthdays or for some other occasion.

My best friend from high school, who I've known since we were 5, lives in Colorado; I live in Pennsylvania. We've had our ups and downs over the years, and even went a few years in high school without speaking to each other. One day she showed up randomly at a friend's house while I was home on college break; we fell back into our old best-friends relationship and have stayed in it ever since. I see her maybe once every five years, and we talk on the phone a few times a year, and e-mail more frequently. For us, it's the quality of the communication, not the frequency.

Most people from high school I see only when I'm visiting my mom, or at reunions. I can pick up the phone or e-mail almost any of them and arrange a night out when I'm in town. I might see some folks once a year, or once every five years, but at this point in our lives that doesn't matter; what matters is that we're in contact with people we've known all our lives.
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Old 08-31-2013, 10:56 PM
 
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I graduated in 09 and ive lost contact with most of em
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