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Old 08-24-2013, 05:38 AM
2 posts, read 7,598 times
Reputation: 10



I need your advice.
A year ago I moved to another country for my ex-boyfriend, it's far away from my own country, even another continent. To be more specific, I'm from Europe and I moved to South America.
Of course my parents freaked out when I told them I would move there. I lived there for a year and my parents could never get used to it, although I lived in other countries before (I haven't lived in my own country for 3 years). They said it's too far and too dangerous etc. They never stopped telling me I should come back to Europe, although I had a boyfriend. When I broke up with my ex I returned to Europe without much thinking, I just wanted to be far away from him and be around my friends. I didn't go back to my own country though, but to another European country where I have many friends.

I told my parents that I'll stay in Europe and there were super happy. Later I realized that I made this decision way too fast and that I actually don't wanna leave South America yet. Not for my ex, but for my life. I built a life there, I have friends there, I have a great job there. And I wanna travel more. If I leave that country now I know I'll never return. So I'd like to live there for at least another year. I didn't tell my parents yet though because I know they'll freak out, especially my mom. I cannot even describe how much against they are about me living in South America. And they were so happy that I told them I'll move to Europe permanently.

So yea, I really don't know how to tell them. Has anyone ever been in a situation like that? Any good advice? Thanks
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Old 08-24-2013, 06:50 AM
16,487 posts, read 21,012,959 times
Reputation: 16171
I have never been in that situation, but honesty is the best policy. Tell them you thought you wanted to stay in Europe but have built a life and miss South America. I assume you are fairly young and you are only young once in your life. Once you are married and have children it is unlikely you will be able to travel the world like you can now.
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Old 08-24-2013, 11:08 AM
3,279 posts, read 6,579,268 times
Reputation: 8308
Do what YOU want. Your parents will get over it, or they won't. Either way, it is your life to live how you please. Your parents do not own you and they cannot tell you how to live your life.
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Old 08-24-2013, 12:40 PM
Location: Chicago area
1,105 posts, read 2,897,482 times
Reputation: 2106
Set up a Skype account for them and let them know that you'll be able to Skype frequently so that they can see you. Maybe that will make them feel a bit better about you being so far away.
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Old 08-24-2013, 12:57 PM
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,977,838 times
Reputation: 32387
How old are you? Just curious. When I was 20 I wanted to do a semester abroad. It was to a safe country, with a group from the US, and was temporary. My mom freaked out. To this day, I have no idea why she was so against the idea. I went anyway without their support, and had the time of my life. Her attitude at that time still affects our relationship to this day.

Go where you will be happy.
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Old 08-24-2013, 01:26 PM
Location: MA/NH
17,099 posts, read 34,528,599 times
Reputation: 16145
In staying in South America, will you be able to budget visiting your parents once a year? It sounds like they are upset having you so far away from them and just miss you a lot. And being a young woman, of course they worry for your safety.
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Old 08-24-2013, 11:24 PM
3,048 posts, read 6,555,214 times
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Are you currently employed still at that job? Do you support yourself without the help of your parents? Your parents said it is not safe in the area you are so is there a near area that you could live that is with less crime?
I agree with others to be honest with your parents. If you are an adult you have to find your own path. Unless it is dangerous or that you cant support yourself your parents should be happy for you even if they would rather you live near. There are always visits.
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:37 AM
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,480 posts, read 14,904,781 times
Reputation: 19530
I find most people never travel far from home and they are the very ones who have no understanding of anyone wanting to travel and experience life!!! Especially parents though. Especially parents of a daughter
And see, I love to travel. Am a fearless,yet cautious traveler but gotta tell ya there is nothing I wanna do or see in South America. Just like some of my family and friends don't "get" that I love,love Manhattan and parts of Europe. Different strokes......
Now having said all that--the point is-only YOU know how YOU feel about what you want out of life. It's your journey. Your Path. Try to assure your parents you will be very cautious. Try the Skype idea.
One of my friends is working in South America right now and he got a Magic Jack with International calling so calls to or from that number are like local calling. Is that available to you guys?
I say Go For It but don't hesitate or act unsure because that sends red flags to your parents. Be assertive and firm but kind and understanding of their concerns.
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Old 08-25-2013, 01:08 AM
16,789 posts, read 14,438,341 times
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I moved abroad when I was 20. Came back, moved again at 25. Parents had their opinions about it, fair enough. Did it stop me? No. Did they stop loving me and caring for me? No.

Think simply, live simply.
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Old 08-25-2013, 06:10 AM
2 posts, read 7,598 times
Reputation: 10
Thanks for your answers!

I'm 25 years old. I'm not dependent on my parents, I'm making my own money, selfemployed and I also do have a job in that South American country.

Sure, South American cities are not as safe as Europe or the US, but I'm not naive, I know what I can do and what not. In the whole year I was living there nothing ever happened to me because I'm careful.

And my parents already have Skype. My mother even has Whatsapp. I'm permanently in contact with my parents, at least every couple of days, via Whatsapp, Facebook or Skype. So they cannot even complain that I don't contact them enough.

Plus, in the whole year I was living there I visited my parents 3(!!!!) times. That's a lot for that distance. Plus, they even visited me once, so they saw me 4 times in one year, which is more than some people who live in the same country.
I also plan to do it like that in the future. Fly home at least twice a year. And I'm not really planning on staying there forever.
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