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Old 08-24-2013, 09:37 PM
 
Location: White House, TN
5,553 posts, read 3,900,419 times
Reputation: 3467

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Option 2. Like it or not, accepting the request is the kindest thing to do, and there is no human virtue more important than being kind to others.
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Old 08-24-2013, 09:57 PM
 
1,915 posts, read 3,335,365 times
Reputation: 3024
Follow your instinct and deny her request. Something creepy about requesting to FB friend you a second time. She'll get the hint.
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Old 08-24-2013, 11:00 PM
 
1,866 posts, read 2,253,679 times
Reputation: 1446
Quote:
Originally Posted by christina0001 View Post
This is a silly thing to be undecided about, but I am. I am picky about who I accept as a facebook friend - has to be someone I know in "real life" and have an actual relationship with, and must be over the age of 18. (Rarely I might use "adult" language or post a song with explicit lyrics and I don't want to offend any youth, or their parents. And frankly, kid's posts are usually annoying.)

Anyway a few months ago when my BIL and 17 year old nephew were living with DH and I temporarily, my nephew's mother/BIL's ex-wife sent me a friend request. I think ex-SIL and BIL have been divorced for about 8 years. I had never met the woman. I mentioned it to DH and he thought it was odd, and he was fine with me declining the request, which I did. Now my BIL and nephew are no longer staying with us; BIL is having some health issues and is in a care facility for right now, and nephew is living with his mom. I've met his mother now a few times, as she has brought him here a few times to pick up some of his possessions. She is a nice enough person. Now she has sent me another fb friend request.

On one hand I hate to offend someone I do know, and it's not like there is any real harm in accepting the request. But I really don't care about her business, and I don't see why she would care about mine. If she needs to contact us, her son has my phone number and DH's in his cell phone.

Shall I:
1. decline the friend request
2. accept it, but adjust the settings so I don't have to read all of her updates (which I care nothing about)
3. just accept it

Thanks for reading about my silly problem! lol
Ugh, the very thing that I can't stand about this country..everything is damn oxymoron. It's called SOCIAL media, not ANTI social media. Geez, I thought facebook would be great for meeting people when it first came out...now it has turned into anything but that.
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:34 AM
 
Location: California
30,513 posts, read 33,327,796 times
Reputation: 25982
I don't accept anyones requests anymore. I never invited anyone and only accepted others but I ended up adjusting my setting so I didn't see any of their updates so awhile back I deleted several people and now just have a handful of the ones I care about. I don't post and rarely comment, I'm a boring facebook user but some of my 'friends' are very funny and clever and I enjoy seeing what they say about stuff.
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Old 08-25-2013, 06:21 AM
 
Location: Northeast Ohio
319 posts, read 381,278 times
Reputation: 915
Another possibility is that your name showed up in the "People You May Know" section of her Facebook (it shows up in the right margin of mine ALL THE TIME... ugh!!), she impulsively clicked on "Add Friend", and then forgot about the matter a second later. She might not even realize she requested you twice. Check out her page. Does she have zillions of Facebook friends? If she does, chances are she just sends requests to everyone she sees that looks familiar, and won't take it too personally if you decline.

Regardless, it sounds like you are uncomfortable accepting her request and don't want her on your Facebook. If I were in your situation, I would go with that feeling and ignore the woman's request. It's far kinder to do that than to accept her request and then defriend her later.
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Old 08-25-2013, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Oviedo
452 posts, read 569,952 times
Reputation: 920
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
#2--there's no harm in accepting the request, but definitely put her in a restricted category so you don't see her updates and she doesn't see most of yours. I am FB friends with a few friends of my mother and mothers of my friends and that's what I've done.
Yep, me too. Accept them and unsubscribe from their feed. If you need them, or if they send something directly to you, you'll have access, but other than that, they'll just be in your list.
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Old 08-25-2013, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,047 posts, read 21,607,832 times
Reputation: 5051
Thanks for all the feedback. I talked with DH about it too. Being that we are fond of our nephew and he is living with his mom right now, I went ahead and accepted the request, and set the settings so I don't have to see her posts. I do not want to offend her, and it's possible she could have a reason in the future to need to contact me regarding our nephew.

I thought about trying to figure out how to set the settings so she can't see all of my info but I'm not real worried about it. My rule with posting on FB is that if I would not feel comfortable with what I am posting, appearing on a billboard on the highway, I generally don't post it. I have my privacy settings pretty high but IMO nothing is really private on the internet.
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Old 08-25-2013, 01:26 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
22,443 posts, read 24,005,241 times
Reputation: 48613
Quote:
Originally Posted by christina0001 View Post
I do not want to offend her, and it's possible she could have a reason in the future to need to contact me regarding our nephew.
.
This is true, and it could be as simple as if you post pictures of outings with your nephew that she wants to see them.
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Old 08-25-2013, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
3,563 posts, read 5,705,858 times
Reputation: 4225
If you're questioning it just decline it.
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Old 08-25-2013, 02:43 PM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
33,832 posts, read 41,892,438 times
Reputation: 43206
You could do like I do and not have any friends. There goes that angst. Come to think of it Facebook for me isn't much different than real life.
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