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Begging to die because your hemorrhoids are killing you is NOT, in spite of the agony (for which I sympathize) a "life and death" experience.
Yes, they do go on for a LONG time and yes, they are a serious PIA.
BUT, they generally don't engender family sympathy of any meaningful amount. I don't even think Hallmark has a card for that..... Hey A$$hole......here's to a loose stool...? It Just doesn't have that 'family' ring.
The kids> Give it up. Move along. They'll come see you and ask about your butt when they are ready. Usually an extra fifty in the Christmas card helps to move it along.
Good luck. Hope you feel better. Still got that bottle in the basement? Now would be a good time to go down for a quick snort...and it's liquid ;-)
OP you nearly died from haemorrhoids???? Wow they must've been like basketballs, no wonder you're grumpy.
Begging to die because your hemorrhoids are killing you is NOT, in spite of the agony (for which I sympathize) a "life and death" experience.
Yes, they do go on for a LONG time and yes, they are a serious PIA.
BUT, they generally don't engender family sympathy of any meaningful amount. I don't even think Hallmark has a card for that..... Hey A$$hole......here's to a loose stool...? It Just doesn't have that 'family' ring.
The kids> Give it up. Move along. They'll come see you and ask about your butt when they are ready. Usually an extra fifty in the Christmas card helps to move it along.
Good luck. Hope you feel better. Still got that bottle in the basement? Now would be a good time to go down for a quick snort...and it's liquid ;-)
Based on a thread in the health forum, I believe the surgery was for a gall bladder. Most of the time, that a simple arthroscopic out-patient procedure, in this case, I guess it wasn't. But, if the sons were under the impression it would be, did anybody bother to let them know it was more involved?
A child should always honor their parent. Even if that parent wasn't the best parent. That doesn't mean hang out and fall all over themselves to please a bad parent (not saying you are) but simple respect should have been given.
At the very least, it's disrespectful. I'm terribly sorry this has happened to you and I'll be praying for you dear.
Brushrunner, why are you telling us this tale of woe? You sound like a typical, tyrannical in-law; we all know the type. Maybe your sense of drama and entitlement keeps your adult children away. You write:
"I posted to Daughter in Law they should have stopped in and seen how I was doing."
"Should have?" You harangued and tried to guilt your daughter-in-law on Facebook, for all to see? I'm glad she seems to be immune to your self-aggrandization.
^^this and the fact that some people now think fakebook is a substitute for actual conversation with a human.
Something def. wrong with this, these days. Narcissism.
As far as your sons and their families, do they work? A lot of families don't work 9 to 5 anymore; work can be all the time so don't be too hard on them.
Are your relatives under pressure? Financial?
When's the last time you visited them? (When you were well)?
I can only relate my own experience - my husband and I were always self employed. The job (s) never end. Family life comes first, of course, but work is right there. My own parents who came from a self employed background, understood this and were called upon many times to be there at that game (which they were anyway) or have the kids spend the night.
My in-laws worked the traditional 9 to 5, had few friends and never offered to babysit and while I know they loved their grandchildren, they never "played" with them. Just little things - throwing the ball, building something, playing a game. Nothing.
Are you like my in-laws were? Start being a part of their life - children grow up so fast and they give so much.
These questions may have been answered but spend some time with your children and grandchildren. Find out about their life - you may be surprised at the challenges families face today - just saying' and I hope your health improves.
Wow really? Even if that parent was cruel, sadistic, child-molesting, vicious, criminal, what have you?
Sorry, I don't buy it. Respect is earned, not demanded.
And that goes for parents as well as anyone else.
(Needless to say, these remarks are not directed at the OP in this thread)
Yes, even if they're cruel and sadistic. The point is not (in this hypothetical situation) to please the parent, it is to bless the child. The first commandment with promise: Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
God sees everything and He knows when we've been wronged. When the child of a horrid parent honors that parent, the CHILD is rewarded. God warns parents also, but in a different way and for a different reason.
My grandmother was so abusive to my mother (all of her children for that matter) that it took almost 60 years for her to even try to defend herself, even to the point that she won't return something to a store because of embarrassment. My mother honored her mother. She didn't try to make grandmother love her, she didn't fall all over the abuser, but, she made sure that grandmother's checkbook was correct, made sure that her insurance(s) were all functioning together and paid her cable bill, $50.
My mother would never go visit, as grandmother moved a long distance away to try to force her children to travel and "stay overnight", which none of them did, but she spoke to her every day (with dread) and did what she could to honor her mother.
When grandmother died, nobody went. Nobody wanted one thing that she'd collected over the 101 years she was here. The Salvation Army got a half million dollars in jewelry...it was that bad.
My mother was the one who will be rewarded for being nice to a mean old woman who was mean as a child and got worse as she aged. (She gave me a concussion at 7 because I had a friend and she didn't. No kidding). It's for the child's benefit.
Yes, even if they're cruel and sadistic. The point is not (in this hypothetical situation) to please the parent, it is to bless the child. The first commandment with promise: Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
God sees everything and He knows when we've been wronged. When the child of a horrid parent honors that parent, the CHILD is rewarded.
You are rewarding bad behavior. It is not acceptable for a parent to reward a child this way, but it is OK to reward a full grown adult? We are not put on this earth to be oppressed or abused by other mortals; to limit or flat out reduce our quality of life in order to enable wretched souls who arrived at this place through no fault of our own. We are given this life to create and further a worthwhile existence. The idea that we should subject ourselves to abuse and suffering so that we may be deemed just and honorable is ludicrous to me. There is no greater betrayal than the betrayal of oneself.
The OP may not have done his best with what he was given. He is now, more than likely, paying the consequences for it - just as his kids will have to pay their own. We reap what we sow. THAT is the natural order of things. To go against that would be to continue breeding the parasites that are already ruining our world as we speak. Our parents are no exception.
Yes, even if they're cruel and sadistic. The point is not (in this hypothetical situation) to please the parent, it is to bless the child. The first commandment with promise: Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
God sees everything and He knows when we've been wronged. When the child of a horrid parent honors that parent, the CHILD is rewarded. God warns parents also, but in a different way and for a different reason.
My grandmother was so abusive to my mother (all of her children for that matter) that it took almost 60 years for her to even try to defend herself, even to the point that she won't return something to a store because of embarrassment. My mother honored her mother. She didn't try to make grandmother love her, she didn't fall all over the abuser, but, she made sure that grandmother's checkbook was correct, made sure that her insurance(s) were all functioning together and paid her cable bill, $50.
My mother would never go visit, as grandmother moved a long distance away to try to force her children to travel and "stay overnight", which none of them did, but she spoke to her every day (with dread) and did what she could to honor her mother.
When grandmother died, nobody went. Nobody wanted one thing that she'd collected over the 101 years she was here. The Salvation Army got a half million dollars in jewelry...it was that bad.
My mother was the one who will be rewarded for being nice to a mean old woman who was mean as a child and got worse as she aged. (She gave me a concussion at 7 because I had a friend and she didn't. No kidding). It's for the child's benefit.
Nothing ticks me off more than someone using Scripture to justify stupid behavior.
How was your grandmother able to give you a concussion at a young age? Because your mother allowed exposure. How can you justify a mother allowing an abuser access to her child? Your mother has a God-given responsibility to protect you.
Yes, the Bible says to honor your parents. And yes, you don't have to talk badly about them or mistreat them. But to allow them to harm your children? No. You can honor someone WITHOUT having them in your life.
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