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Old 08-30-2013, 01:48 AM
 
176 posts, read 432,956 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mondayafternoons View Post
So the moral of the story is crank out some kids and at least smoke in moderation!
Now that is funny!
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Old 08-30-2013, 01:34 PM
 
Location: Utah
5,000 posts, read 14,433,061 times
Reputation: 4975
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlb View Post
I work in a "family friendly" (ahem) state.........

I had a single guy friend who worked in a state job and was always passed up for promotions. They would promote men who had "families to provide for".

He left the state eventually and got a much better job.
I work in that same family friendly state, I think. I am a childless, single female....I have felt I too have been passed up for promotions/raises because I too don't have a family to provide for....it's even worse in Utah county where I'm originally from, but got the helloutta there.

Just last Monday I wanted to stay home with my dog who had been puking throughout Sunday night. I have oodles of accrued sick time but the culture at work doesn't favor taking time off when your dog is sick--even though I have 500+ more sick hours that my co-workers who have kids. I really wish we would go to PTO so that taking time off was more of a generic request made to our respective bosses and not my boss's judgement on whether or not my reason for my request was valid in HIS eyes.
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Old 08-31-2013, 09:02 AM
 
2,172 posts, read 2,514,281 times
Reputation: 1773
Quote:
Originally Posted by shadowwalker View Post
Most of my life I have been the recipient of extra work hours,less days off,extended job completions by myself and work the holidays I'll hear the usual "well they have kids and need to be there". For the reason to justify my extra work loads. I have quit a few jobs for this reason. Why do employers give us the shaft just because we don't have kids? I also have a life and want time for my pleasures. This is also true of my wife's job. This is going on for over 20 years and I am real tired of it.
My present job has the people here going home just because the kids are stressing out the wives, need to have both parents a Dr.'s appointments, both need to be there to look at a car or buy furniture, some of this can be done on a regular day off but they get to take work time to do it.
My girlfriend worked for an employer that allowed her coworker to leave early, not come in on her days off and to never ever work over time or holidays, simply because she would use the excuse that she has a child she needs to be with all the time. But in reality, her coworker had limited visitation rights for her son. Her husband has full custody and once or twice a week she would have her son stay over. It was really messed up that she used her son as an excuse. pretty pathetic.
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Old 08-31-2013, 12:47 PM
 
18,283 posts, read 23,413,743 times
Reputation: 34189
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
I remember a meeting we were having over some upcoming projects and one of them was an after hours audit for maybe an hour or two and this woman just pipes up laughing, "I can't I have kids." She sounded like she scored in Vegas. I, over the years, was so sick of hearing stuff like this I blurted out, "I'm on the rag, my car is in the shop and I don't care if you run an orphange."

What cheeses me the most, being a woman myself, is when women do this. One, you knew your job before you took it. Secondly, look at all the movements and efforts which were put forth over the years for equalities in the workplace, especially for women and they turn around and pull stuff like this it makes me cringe.

The other beef I had was people who felt they deserved a raise or to be paid more because they had children. Hey, your kids don't have anything to do with your job. Just because I chose not to get knocked up in high school and ended up with three kids by three different fathers over the years and I chose to go to college instead, doesn't make you a better worker.
excellent post!!
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Old 09-01-2013, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Sunset Mountain
1,385 posts, read 2,811,746 times
Reputation: 1369
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post

Other schools may have been different but we were always told that our job and our students came first not our families or personal life.
This is really sad. My husband and I don't have children. I often used my "extra" flexibility to sell myself in a job interview as the missing piece of the teamwork pie, where I can work so parents could have time with their kids.

I always made this clear in my interviews that it should never be abused, though.

germaine, you made a very prominent statement that imo, is part of the problems we face as Americans. Everyone works themselves to death. I feel America has placed the burden on society to cope with a bad balance of work and home life.

I was so annoyed at this discovery I made it my thesis in graduate school. I studied countries all over the world noted for their balance of work and life. In one country, there was an article that said work hit an all time high of 26 hours per week throwing the balance in communities out of whack. I couldn't believe what I read. People were commenting on the sections below the article discussing how in other countries across Europe, working a 40 hour week is unheard of. The value of actually raising your kids and being there for them is top priority. It has to be a top priority for them. But for us, kids come second to work. That's one of the downfalls of a capitalist society-you don't have big government programs paying for most of your bills like health insurance so you have to go out and work 70+ hours to pay for life.

In my experiences at working among several working moms and single moms, I was glad to help out-but the company always made the moms pay for leaving early or coming in late by using their personal days. When they ran out of those, they went without pay, just like anyone else, kid or not.

I wish our structure allowed for everyone to have a better work/life balance. It's very hard to find sometimes.
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Old 09-01-2013, 11:15 AM
 
7,970 posts, read 11,616,240 times
Reputation: 10458
I can't speak for most of the American work force. But in my area, (civilian working in a military environment) there is WAY too much bxxxsxxxxxxx going on. So yea, we have to spend x amount of hours at work but i wouldn't say people work that hard at work. Drives me nuts. And I think everywhere in the world except Europe and maybe Canada? people work harder than us. Japanese dads don't even see their kids much.

I just posted on this in another thread. Young people work, grandparents raise the kids. That's the way its always been till we got affluent and the govt had programs and laws. Its still a perfectly reasonable model.
And no one is forcing the majority of people to have two incomes. Most of the people i work with get paid enough to have one income if they were willing to live in a smaller house, have fewer big ticket toys, vacations, hobbes, way too much stuff.
I feel for the people who have limited options, which doesn't include most suburbians.

I have seen a lot of the exceptions made time wise and performance wise for kids and family problems. We had a couple trying to get pregnant via every expensive mode available to them Always out, cannot possibly have that much sick or annual leave. Time card shenanigans. I too have a bizzillion sick hours saved. I figure at some point I may get cancer and need them. Of course, people who use all their sick time to try to get pregnant and don't have any later in their career will just ask for sick time donations from others
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Old 09-02-2013, 03:32 PM
 
260 posts, read 795,494 times
Reputation: 369
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlb View Post
I work in a "family friendly" (ahem) state.........

I had a single guy friend who worked in a state job and was always passed up for promotions. They would promote men who had "families to provide for".

He left the state eventually and got a much better job.

Over 20 years ago I was trying to decide if I should open my own business. I was passed up for a promotion and asked why. My boss told me she had kids to feed and I didn't (she had a husband). I left that day and never looked back. In 8 months I had half of my old bosses accounts. I was told the woman who got the promotion was not as knowlegable as I was. I've never said a bad word about the woman or my old boss. I did not have to, I let him look like a fool all on his own.
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Old 09-05-2013, 01:21 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,324,764 times
Reputation: 1316
Quote:
I work in a "family friendly" (ahem) state.........
I work in that same "family friendly" state and it does suck. I have a co-worker who sent an e-mail begging for money for a run she is going to participate for her son's diabetes. She isn't even a nice person. Since that's allowed here I might send out an e-mail asking for donations for my Race-to-pay-off-my-car fund.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Sunset Mountain
1,385 posts, read 2,811,746 times
Reputation: 1369
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
I work in that same "family friendly" state and it does suck. I have a co-worker who sent an e-mail begging for money for a run she is going to participate for her son's diabetes. She isn't even a nice person. Since that's allowed here I might send out an e-mail asking for donations for my Race-to-pay-off-my-car fund.
I would totally donate to that.
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Old 09-06-2013, 12:31 AM
 
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,480 posts, read 14,906,668 times
Reputation: 19530
Quote:
Originally Posted by eggalegga View Post
Just last Monday I wanted to stay home with my dog who had been puking throughout Sunday night. I have oodles of accrued sick time but the culture at work doesn't favor taking time off when your dog is sick--even though I have 500+ more sick hours that my co-workers who have kids. I really wish we would go to PTO so that taking time off was more of a generic request made to our respective bosses and not my boss's judgement on whether or not my reason for my request was valid in HIS eyes.

Been there!!! My dogs are my babies and one of them is quite ill. I have all these PTO days but never get a chance to use them.............even when my dog is at the vet waiting to be picked up, or needing to go to the vet or needing me to just be home with her...................no, I can't seem to work that in because every single day one of my coworkers (all of whom are mothers) is calling in due to a child's illness or one of them need to chaperone the kid's field trip or, or......
We're required to do x number of community service days per year also. Which is always on a Saturday.
I am the ONLY one who has ever followed the rules and showed up for these "volunteer to the community" days. Not one time in the 5 years I've been with this company has the moms or dads done this required community service. What's a person to do?
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