Why do so many people insist on texting instead of calling or visiting? (talks, person)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 33, and grew up around computers and technology. My career involves technology.....and I despise texting/instant messaging conversations with a fiery passion.
I get the value in texting/IM, to a degree. I think it's great for quick things like "I'm running late", "I'll meet you at 6", "Remember to pick up milk on the way home", "text me your address", etc....But I have zero desire in having full length conversations via text/IM. I understand the younger generation that grew up on texting, or when texting plans first became available for unlimited texting for something like $15/month, and minutes were still ungodly expensive.
I've told people that I dislike texting, and I much prefer a phone call, or *GASP*, actually seeing each in person! Heck, I even have friends that say they feel the same way as me, yet continue to text me. When I call them, they send my call to voice mail, and immediately respond with something like "what's up?" They tell me they're just watching TV, or wasting time on the computer, so it's not like they're somewhere that they can't talk on the phone. My last two GFs were also chronic texters, and it's largely why I chose to split.
The short of it is that I just don't want to be tethered to the keyboard or cell phone for hours, pecking away at those tiny keys, plus it just seems so impersonal.
Why is it seemingly everyone is only capable of communicating behind a computer screen or cell phone these days? I've gotten to the point that I don't run any IM programs any more, and my Facebook chat is turned off. I've posted on Facebook that if you can't be bothered to call or visit, I'm likely to ignore your texts. Quite a few people I don't have communication with anymore as a result. It's not I'm bitter or stressed out over it (in fact, I'm far less stressed out now that I've started ignoring texts and IMs, lol), I'm genuinely curious at this point.
I don't even like those examples above (like "I'm running late"). Unless the other person responds, you have no idea he got the message. At least with a phone call I know one way or the other if the person received my message.
Texting is one step above Morse code which is one step above smoke signals.
One reason I like texting is I have hearing issues. I also hate being tethered to the phone - but I have people that if I don't answer that second, they have a cow and think I'm not available, etc. But I like being able to go to the bathroom without taking my phone! If they text, then I can reply in 5 minutes or so and they don't freak out that I don't answer, etc, and it's not a big deal. Yes, I actually have people that whine or get mad if I'm not answering their call. But if I need a few minutes to respond to a text, then it's not as noticeable. I feel like the phone is a leash sometimes and I hate it. I don't use the phone while driving, at dinner, etc so a text is nice because I can respond at my convenience.
My phone also has issues with voicemail, I don't know why. So again, texting just works better. Also I often cannot hear well depending on what is going on so texting is better. I find many do not have patience with me when I cannot hear them the first time.
I do like seeing in person too, yes. For good long conversations and big news I prefer it too. But for when we can't, I do enjoy texting. Honestly I prefer a good long email but no one seems to like to do that with me.
I love texting, although I've never done it!! I like it because I despise listening to inane cell phone conversations wherever I am--grocery, doctor's office, etc. At least when they text they are QUIET!!!
Not everyone likes phone calls. I despise them with a passion. For one thing, most cell phones do not sound crisp and clear to me and I often am straining to understand the garble.
Secondly, phone calls are interruptive. That is why most of mine (unless it is a client I need to respond to) will go into VM.
Thirdly, if I need to know something, I can text or IM and get a quick answer and not feel I am interrupting the other person. They can respond when it is convenient (as DR 2012 mentioned above). I love getting a text b/c I can then determine if a more complex conversation needs to take place and then I can text back and say - Should I just call? That way, I know I am not interrupting should I need to make that call.
Because I work at home, it seems many people think I am not really working! I do have a sporadic work "schedule" but no, I don't like social calls during the day. Just text me, then when I am at a stopping point, I will text you back.
This has in no way changed anything to do with my seeing people face to face. I get together with folks the same amount I always have. If texting has meant not spending time with people b/c you are texting rather than seeing each other, that is a basic relationship problem. Maybe the other person does not want to spend as much time as you do "face to face."
Some people love talking on the phone. Some people, like me, don't. Should I be forced to talk on the phone when I don't want to? Nope. I pay for the service and if my preference is that you leave a VM, and I get back to you, then that is what I will do. There is no reason for anyone to get insulted! I surely don't -- and the majority of folks I know let most of their phone calls go into VM.
I think what folks are having a hard time dealing with is . . . maybe the people who are using texting instead of phone calling NEVER DID like calling and chatting . . . and now they have the perfect solution to staying in touch - without phone calls. If someone finds that insulting, then I guess they are just going to lose out on relationships, b/c not everyone likes talking on the phone!
people can't text you if you don't have texting on your phone. I don't. I won't ever have it.
When I tell people I don't have it and they act as though I'm crazy--I could not care less.
I somewhat agree with the original poster, and frankly, someone who calls you a "friend" but "doesn't like to be interrupted" or "doesn't like talking on the phone?" Frankly, I think they're being ass-hats somewhat. Make a small compromise to maintain a connection, for pete's sake. Quit pontificating about your precious freaking "boundaries being respected." If you're friends, there shouldn't be such rigid boundaries to start with. Even if you don't like talking on the phone, okay, fine, but if your friend is hurting and really needing to spill their guts to someone & you can't meet up with them, at least humor them for a few minutes, if not all afternoon.
My big thing is that some people think Facebook or texting is a substitute for real-contact face-to-face relationships. Bull feathers. It's for maintaining some sort of idea on what a person is up to IN-BETWEEN face-to-face relationships, or just to "keep in touch" with people you would never likely have a "real" relationship to start with. I understand--there are plenty of persons whom I see in person on OCCASION but don't go out of my way to see often, nor they me, I just keep up with what they're doing on Facebook. That said, even with them, when we DO run into each other, our talks have FAR more warmth & a personal touch to them than the Facebook posts ever could hope to measure up to.
That goes quadruple for close friends.
I do understand texting for somethings, mind you. Sometimes, for instance, I'm relaying a quick "on the way be there in 10 minutes" text in terms of meeting my mother-in-law; I text because she can't hear worth a lick & is prone to chit-chatting ENDLESSLY about EVERYTHING while you're on the way. Forget that--I'm just trying to relay information and be done with it. Even so, I see her in person periodically & we talk then, and I humor her long chats even if they drag on. It's part of having a relationship with somebody.
I also don't get people who are PROUD of not answering their phone and "leave a voice mail" because they're, say, reading a book and don't want to be bothered. I'm sorry I think that's selfish. Gee whiz, what if your friend has a flat tire, their AAA expired unexpectedly & they're needing a bail out? ESPECIALLY if they're not prone to nagging you about that every other day (at which point I could understand becoming tired of the endless nagging), I say--quit being so selfish about not wanting to be disturbed with your precious reading & be a friend for crying out loud. You can read when you get back. Or, if it's someone wanting to chit-chat and you do want to but not right now, okay that's fine--how about just telling them so?
My best friend, if I call him & he was watching a movie, he'll answer anyway and say to me "is it okay if I call you back, we were watching a movie and it's not done yet?" I tell him "oh sure, sure, go right back to it, just call me back when it's over," and he usually will--and if he doesn't, no big deal, we'll talk again soon enough. He doesn't act like the world came to an end because someone dared to violate his precious boundaries & bug him during a movie. (At the same time, if the phone were to ring multiple TIMES, then yes he would--as would I.)
The way I look at it, texting is a useful tool but it is not a substitute for personal interaction and if someone thinks it is, then they won't be having much of a relationship with me. Same as Facebook posts — it's the poster imparting information to the masses (in a sense, a personal advertisement). Obviously, they don't care what I think about their topic any more than Starbucks cares what I think about their coffee. They have no desire to tailor their message to me; they aren't bothering at all to inquire about my well-being or thoughts.
I will text someone if I know they have meetings that day or are otherwise unavailable for that back-and-forth thing known as conversation. I will text someone who is hard of hearing. I will text someone I need to get a short informational message to. But a text is just that — a posting of facts or a pertinent question. "I am stuck in traffic and will be five minutes late." "Can you pick up my child at the sitter's?" "Do you know what time the game starts?"
That's NOT a conversation. Nor is it a substitute for conversation. Or any indication of true caring, for that matter. If young people want to make their sharing with others this impersonal, fine. But I feel sorry for them as they're missing a lot: tone of voice, facial expressions, funny reactions, spontaneous outbursts of joy or frustration, a confession, an expression of affection.
If you completely confine your communication with me to tweets or bleats or texts ... see ya later.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
