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It is certainly rude for acquaintances to make comments about appearance that aren't positive, but I have to admit I can't understand why women with naturally good hair cut it short, even if the cut is flattering. Maybe this is because I'd give up a fingernail or three permanently to have to nice hair.
Because alot of women want to have long, thick, shiny hair and can't grow it. So they don't understand why you are trimming yours. At least, that is how I feel! You are BLESSED with such nice hair, yet you get rid of it? I don't get it.
I don't know what sort of hair you have, but I'll post a picture of the sort of hair I used to have and what I have now - to illustrate why people often make the very valid choice to cut their very thick hair:
Me, on the left, with something that looks like a large squirrel or maybe a beaver hanging off the side of my head. This picture was taken in about 1995, so about 18 years ago.
Me, a few weeks ago.
My hair seems to be much the same texture as the OPs, so I can relate to her issues.
Very thick, coarse hair is a mixed blessing. My hair was so heavy that it would literally make my head hurt. If I put it in a chignon or a ponytail, it would make the top of my head hurt VERY BADLY within just a few hours. If it rained or was really humid, my hair would expand, along the lines of Rozanne Rozanna Danna (remember her from SNL?). But I couldn't cut it midlength, because if it was midlength, like shoulder or chin length, it wasn't long or heavy enough to tame the natural frizz. So it just looked huge and made my face look like a moon pie.
Midlength or long - it would take my hair literally HOURS to dry. I could go to sleep with it wet and it would still be wet when I woke up. Not only that, but there is no way I could blow dry it - out of the question. My arm would be about to fall off. Not only that, blow drying it made it expand and frizz out to epic proportions.
I have had one hair professional after another tell me "It's either very long or very short for you." Length weighs my hair down and calms it, but it brings a whole slew of issues along with it.
I love my short hair because it is SO EASY to care for, and always looks good. I mean, it's a no fail hair style. When my hair was long, the phrase "bad hair day" took on the meaning of a horror flick. And I am not kidding.
So - that's why some women with long, thick, shiny hair cut theirs off. Hope that clarifies it for you!
Last edited by KathrynAragon; 08-29-2013 at 04:29 PM..
It is certainly rude for acquaintances to make comments about appearance that aren't positive, but I have to admit I can't understand why women with naturally good hair cut it short, even if the cut is flattering. Maybe this is because I'd give up a fingernail or three permanently to have to nice hair.
See my post above for some clarification.
People reacted with horror when I cut my hair - and what was really weird is that even after I told them, "I LOVE my short hair!" they STILL would say pointless things, like, "But how could you do it? I loved it. I would have died for hair like that."
What's the point of those comments? So what if YOU loved it? I WAS SICK OF IT. It's my head, my hair, my life, my choice. I'm sorry if other people have thin hair or hair they don't like. I honestly can't help that. Having a head full of hair on my own head won't change the hair on their heads one bit.
But I do have a funny story about the day I cut my hair, involving my ex husband (no surprise there when you hear the story!).
The day I decided to cut off my hair, I didn't have any idea I was going to do that when I woke up that morning. But I got to my hair appt and I just decided, then and there, I was cutting it off.
Anyway, off came the hair, and I immediately LOVED my new style!
I had a dinner date with my husband that evening right after the hair appointment. I admit I was nervous about it, but there's something inside me that has a fundamental problem with calling my husband to ASK PERMISSION to cut my hair. Nope, I just can't go there. We had discussed it before and he had always shrugged and said, "Do what you want - it's your hair" so really - I thought he actually meant that. Anyway, so I walked into the restaurant (we were meeting after work) and he took one look at me and said, "Oh my gosh. Please tell me you didn't cut your hair."
Now - let me clarify - my haircut really did look cute. I mean really cute - and I knew it. But I also knew it would be a shock to him. So I smiled and said, "Well - I did cut it, but look at it - don't you like it?"
He scowled and said, "No. You look like a damn boy." Which - as you can tell from the photo above, I do not. I knew I still looked feminine.
Anyway, we waited - while he sulked and I felt uncomfortable - for the waiter to come get our drink order. Finally I couldn't stand the silent treatment any longer so I said, "I'll go to the bar and get us a couple of glasses of wine." So off I went to the crowded bar.
While I was waiting to place the order, these two men started talking with me, and then flirting with me, and then guess what they did - they offerend to pay for the two drinks I ordered - even my husband's drink! And while I was waiting for the drinks to arrive, they told me they thought I was adorable (I am pretty sure they had been drinking before I got there!), and if I wasn't doing anything the next day, they'd love for me to go fishing with them! Yeah, right! No thanks, but after all that sulking and pouting my husband was doing, it was nice to realize that I wasn't ugly.
Anyway, I got back to the table, and my husband said, "What took you so long?" I told him, "Well, it's so crowded at the bar that I had to wait, and while I was waiting, those two guys over there started talking to me about their fishing trip. By the way, they bought us these drinks, so you might want to wave at them. And one other thing - apparently they don't think I look like a boy."
That is a great story, which just earned a well-deserved rep. That must have totally knocked the wind out of your ex's sails!
My husband doesn't insult me but always whines when I cut off my split ends. I've been avoiding doing it for a month or so now, but I'm hating all the straggles (and when you bleach your hair, you get mega-straggles). Maybe I'll bite the bullet and do it this weekend.
Just edited the post - I am the one on the left, not the right - sorry!
OK, that makes more sense, LOL. I was wondering how you had made such an amazing transformation. Not that the woman on the right doesn't look good, but she doesn't look as if she is the same person as you, which makes perfect sense, because she isn't.
OK, that makes more sense, LOL. I was wondering how you had made such an amazing transformation. Not that the woman on the right doesn't look good, but she doesn't look as if she is the same person as you, which makes perfect sense, because she isn't.
No, but to add to the confusion, she is my mom's youngest sister (and that's my mom in the center), so though we don't look like the same person, there's a family resemblance, not the least of which is a headful of very badly behaved hair! She's got hair at least as wild and crazy as mine and look at it in that middle length - uncontrollable!
That is a great story, which just earned a well-deserved rep. That must have totally knocked the wind out of your ex's sails!
My husband doesn't insult me but always whines when I cut off my split ends. I've been avoiding doing it for a month or so now, but I'm hating all the straggles (and when you bleach your hair, you get mega-straggles). Maybe I'll bite the bullet and do it this weekend.
Men and their ideas of long hair!
I am remarried now, and my husband told me when we started dating that though he was 43 at the time, and had been single for years, I was literally the first woman he had ever dated (ever!) with short hair.
What the heck!
But hey - he married me.
Anyway, you tell your husband that you are in charge of your own hair and you do know what's best for it so calm down.
Wow. Hold your horses. I told the OP that she has the ability to grow awesome hair and you just bash me.
The only rude person here is YOU. Lighten up a bit!
Do you really not see how what you said was bizarre? Cutting hair is like cutting the "female parts" off a woman? Really? That's just sick and idiotic. And frankly, given the rudeness of the sentiment, I don't give a rat's arse if you think I'm rude. At least I don't get my sense of femininity from my hair or think I should tell other people what to do with theirs.
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