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Old 08-28-2013, 07:34 PM
 
90 posts, read 79,540 times
Reputation: 102

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I don't know if it's rude, which is why I am asking you all.

I got my hair cut almost two months ago. It was very long and thick and I cut it very short. I always do this.

So this woman who owns a cafe sees me and says "Oh, you cut your hair!" And then...

*crickets chirping*

I'm like, "Yeah...." Uncomfortable silence. Waiting for her to tell me it looks nice. Nope. Nada.

So the next week I go back in there. Same deal. She goes "Oh, you cut your hair!"

I am like "Yup." More crickets doing their thang.

And then last night I had a young worker at another place make the same observation followed by nothing.

I get it. Some people might not like my 'do. Especially since I have very thick hair, perhaps they think it's crazy to cut.

But still...
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Old 08-28-2013, 07:43 PM
 
2,350 posts, read 4,455,055 times
Reputation: 2966
Looks OK to me
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:35 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,644 posts, read 41,381,512 times
Reputation: 81968
It is irritating.

It's also rude and passive-aggressive.
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Old 08-28-2013, 08:52 PM
 
90 posts, read 79,540 times
Reputation: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It is irritating.

It's also rude and passive-aggressive.
Could you elaborate? Because I was wondering if it is a hostile thing. However, only in one case could I even think that. The other was a teenage girl and I don't think she has anything against me, LOL.

It is weird because on the other hand, what about when people say NOTHING to you when you get a radically different haircut? So in that case, it's insulting because they didn't notice at all.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,644 posts, read 41,381,512 times
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#1 I am continually amazed at how many grown people comment on grown-up haircuts. I mean 40-year-old businessmen saying, "Wow, did you get sheared!" when a co-worker comes in with a pretty normal trim. I can't explain this urge to comment on haircuts.

#2 In your situation, it's passive-aggressive because a comment about a haircut is USUALLY followed by the typical reply which is, as you stated, that it looks nice. Even if you don't really believe it, the social convention usually is that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Which leads to the passive-aggressive way the cafe lady twice commented on your haircut but withheld the expected compliment. That means she got to express her displeasure indirectly.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:21 PM
 
90 posts, read 79,540 times
Reputation: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
#1 I am continually amazed at how many grown people comment on grown-up haircuts. I mean 40-year-old businessmen saying, "Wow, did you get sheared!" when a co-worker comes in with a pretty normal trim. I can't explain this urge to comment on haircuts.

#2 In your situation, it's passive-aggressive because a comment about a haircut is USUALLY followed by the typical reply which is, as you stated, that it looks nice. Even if you don't really believe it, the social convention usually is that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Which leads to the passive-aggressive way the cafe lady twice commented on your haircut but withheld the expected compliment. That means she got to express her displeasure indirectly.
LOL...Yeah...I couldn't get her deal...I agree with you--why even bring it up if you are not going to say something nice?!

And now I remember the guy from Whole Foods. He's a really nice guy but he said "You got your hair cut!" as if I had done something beyond the pale. But I get it--people would love to have long, thick hair. The only thing is that they don't have to live with it in the summer.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:31 PM
 
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,241 posts, read 3,274,180 times
Reputation: 3010
You shouldnt obsess over something that small. Do you need everyone on earth to compliment your hair? Isnt it nice that a random waitress was nice enough to notice your hair and mention it? I never notice when anyone changes their hair unless its weird like a woman shaving her head bald.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,781 posts, read 16,159,041 times
Reputation: 2833
Meh, get over it sister.
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Old 08-28-2013, 09:42 PM
 
90 posts, read 79,540 times
Reputation: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhenomenalAJ View Post
You shouldnt obsess over something that small. Do you need everyone on earth to compliment your hair? Isnt it nice that a random waitress was nice enough to notice your hair and mention it? I never notice when anyone changes their hair unless its weird like a woman shaving her head bald.
If we didn't obsess on small stuff, City Data would be toast
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Old 08-29-2013, 01:39 AM
 
26 posts, read 45,712 times
Reputation: 30
I had my hair cut from fairly long to a choppy short cut, not supper short but definately on the short side. I didn't like the hair cut but didn't want to stress over it since its just hair and it will grow back.

During that time I used to talk to this guy that liked me, I however just saw him as a friend and had absolutely no interest in him. The first time he saw me with my haircut he did not say one word about it. It was like I never had a haircut, and it was quite obvious that I had one. I had a feeling he didn't like it because it wasn't normal for someone not to even say one thing about it but I didn't really care since I didn't like him in a romanic way. Well the next time I saw him he asked me "Did you get a haircut?" I thought to myself, geez you are a very observant guy. I just said 'yes' and he said 'It would have looked better if it was longer' and motioned with his hand the length my hair should have been cut to.

I don't think he said it to be mean spirited, that was how he honestly felt inside. I believe he just thinks women should have long hair. Some people are not aware of the reactions they have, whether verbal or non verbal. We probably all have done it at one point to some degree.
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