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Old 09-01-2013, 10:59 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,129 times
Reputation: 15

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I just bought a house with a female friend back in the springs.
We aren't a couple, but we have knew each other from college. I never finished college, but we still stay close friend and have lived together and even act as a couple quite a few times for various reasons.
Mainly because I'm always working in different places and almost always do seasonal job so I have more free time to do other things I want to. She on other hand was a small time model and getting her cosmetology career in order.
We aren't in a relationship but we have decided that we do want to live together when we can and when I'm ready, I will eventually live with her for good.
We do share room when we are here and all that.

So when my family first learned about the house, they all were excited and ask if we are down to host Xmas at our place so all families could finally be together for the holiday (we live almost right in middle of them all and most live a few hours drive away) we agreed.
Now the problem is... My parents really doesn't like how I live my life (no stable career, often do dangerous job, no college degree, etc...) and are quite against the idea of me sharing a bed with this girl, so they are far from thrill about us sharing a house. Plus they don't like the girl too much. So they are trying to tell everybody that they and my brothers and one of brother's family won't be there unless the girl and I agree to sleep in separate room.

Now this is just making thing even more stressful for everybody and it is pissing me off! Some of them stood up for me but some are trying to tell me that I should just bite the bullet and do as my parents ask.

Is this type of request from parents even proper? It just feel like a slap to the face to me.
Even if it is acceptable, I'd have to turn it down. We don't get much time together so when I'm home, I really like to be able to share the bed with her and be by her when we're sleeping. It may be silly and small thing but it means lot to us. So I feel it isn't right for someone to walk in and tell us what we can or can't do.

Any suggestion?
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Old 09-01-2013, 11:39 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,988 posts, read 14,665,561 times
Reputation: 14876
I am a mother to two grown sons - and I can tell you outright that I have no business dictating what they can and cannot do. Tell the family to have Christmas elsewhere - you will live in your own house like you please. It's none of their business what your living arrangement is.
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:20 AM
 
Location: Phoenix Arizona
718 posts, read 1,549,917 times
Reputation: 1637
I'm not sure if I understand your living arrangement. You live with her AND sleep in the same bed but you are not involved romantically? How is that even possible?I could understand if you guys slept in seperate rooms but you guys are sharing the same room! I've never heard of such a thing.
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:27 AM
 
639 posts, read 1,553,172 times
Reputation: 1308
This sounds like a Boston Marriage: Boston marriage - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Also called a romantic friendship, depending on the circumstances. Basically two women who live almost like a lesbian couple but they're straight and don't have sex. Definitely difficult for people to understand because it's much easier to jump to the conclusion that you are lesbians.

Even if you were lesbians, your parents can't make you sleep in separate beds in your own house. Your house, your rules. They will either learn to accept your relationship or they won't, it's up to them.
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:28 AM
 
Location: Illinois
4,754 posts, read 4,323,429 times
Reputation: 12914
They want to tell you where you can sleep and who you can sleep with in your own house???? No. Just no.
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Old 09-02-2013, 12:53 AM
 
Location: Lexington, Kentucky
6,977 posts, read 3,992,333 times
Reputation: 12978
I agree with all of the above....you are an adult, and it is your house, and you're right to
sleep anywhere in the house you wish.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:27 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,183,357 times
Reputation: 4297
Quote:
So they are trying to tell everybody that they and my brothers and one of brother's family won't be there unless the girl and I agree to sleep in separate room.
Your parents have that kind of control over other family members?

They certainly have balls to try and dictate your sleeping arrangements under your own roof. It's not just controlling, it's rude. I suggest telling them that you are proud to be a homeowner and looked forward to decorating a house for a family holiday, but any remarks on your lifestyle and choices are forbidden. Taking a stand might even give other family members to tell your parents to take a flying .... There is often a dynamic in families that one or two are bullies and end up cowing all the others until someone takes a stand.

Announce that your door will be open for the holidays and all who are well-mannered and polite are welcome.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:30 AM
 
16,482 posts, read 21,073,633 times
Reputation: 16171
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pulaski6 View Post
I just bought a house with a female friend back in the springs.
We aren't a couple, but we have knew each other from college. I never finished college, but we still stay close friend and have lived together and even act as a couple quite a few times for various reasons.
Mainly because I'm always working in different places and almost always do seasonal job so I have more free time to do other things I want to. She on other hand was a small time model and getting her cosmetology career in order.
We aren't in a relationship but we have decided that we do want to live together when we can and when I'm ready, I will eventually live with her for good.
We do share room when we are here and all that.

So when my family first learned about the house, they all were excited and ask if we are down to host Xmas at our place so all families could finally be together for the holiday (we live almost right in middle of them all and most live a few hours drive away) we agreed.
Now the problem is... My parents really doesn't like how I live my life (no stable career, often do dangerous job, no college degree, etc...) and are quite against the idea of me sharing a bed with this girl, so they are far from thrill about us sharing a house. Plus they don't like the girl too much. So they are trying to tell everybody that they and my brothers and one of brother's family won't be there unless the girl and I agree to sleep in separate room.

Now this is just making thing even more stressful for everybody and it is pissing me off! Some of them stood up for me but some are trying to tell me that I should just bite the bullet and do as my parents ask.

Is this type of request from parents even proper? It just feel like a slap to the face to me.
Even if it is acceptable, I'd have to turn it down. We don't get much time together so when I'm home, I really like to be able to share the bed with her and be by her when we're sleeping. It may be silly and small thing but it means lot to us. So I feel it isn't right for someone to walk in and tell us what we can or can't do.

Any suggestion?
It is your life and your home. No, no one has the right to tell you how to run your home and who you can and cannot sleep with. I would not have Christmas at your home, it is a disaster waiting to happen.
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Old 09-02-2013, 07:00 AM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,070,624 times
Reputation: 32401
your family can not tell you what to do or where to sleep in your own house. however, your situation sounds like a recipe for disaster. what happens when one of you wants to date someone else?

Last edited by Kibbiekat; 09-02-2013 at 07:57 AM..
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Old 09-02-2013, 07:20 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,354 posts, read 12,114,801 times
Reputation: 16597
I must have missed something bec I have no idea if you are male or female.
I always like knowing the age of people, it helps me give advice.

But, I also say having them over is not cool right now.

Live anyway you like...that way you will always be the subject of converstion for
boring busy bodies..
they need variations from always talking about religion and politics.
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