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Old 09-02-2013, 05:10 PM
 
Location: SE Michigan
6,191 posts, read 15,363,159 times
Reputation: 10248

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I have a feeling I worded the subject poorly but here's what I mean.

If you go for a meal out with a friend and they say "it's my treat" do you try to keep the cost of your meal roughly in the same ball-park as the friend's meal? Personally, if the friend orders a $10 entree, I will order something that costs about the same, or less. I wouldn't order the $30 entree plus a cocktail if the person paying was just getting the $10 entree and a coffee. I keep the cost of what I'm ordering about the same as what the person who is paying is ordering.

Today I offered to treat three friends to brunch. Nothing fancy, an impromtu cheap diner-type meal at a cheap diner. I ordered a $4.50 plain cheese omelette and just drank water. (Not because I was trying to be thrifty, but because that's what I wanted to eat and drink at the time.) Combined, the other three ordered soft drinks, coffee, a plate of buffalo chicken wings, a meat-lovers omelette, a southern omelette, a hot dog with all the fixings and a plate of cheesy coney fries.

So the bill came to about $33, plus 20 percent tip, so I paid $40.

So, that's fine, I did offer to treat, after all. But for sure, if a friend and peer offers to treat for a meal, I follow their lead, as it were, when it comes to picking something from the menu.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,379 posts, read 12,133,948 times
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It depends on the friend.
Mostly, of course, I am modest in my ordering.

But, if the guy is my Taurus friend...he loves my carefree lighthearted company and
wants me to be completely flowing in that...so I order anything I want...
He loves to see my enthusiasm....it is etiquette to love your meal, btw, even
if it was not up to par. Pretend, just an aside piece of info....


And say thank you again in an email later that night.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:25 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,988 posts, read 14,673,335 times
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The answer is yes, I try to be similar. The appetizer addition was too much, unless you brought it up. I often want wine with a meal, but I ask to pay the tip, etc., since I am uncomfortable with adding wine on their dime.

Some of it depends on the relationship. I have one friend that alternates paying. We don't worry about the tab - because over time it most likely worked out.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in the universe
2,161 posts, read 3,988,881 times
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I guess I would do that. Usually we split the bill or, less frequently, I pay.

Now if they were filthy rich or it was my birthday...
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:33 PM
 
2,349 posts, read 4,475,667 times
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Yes, I would strongly consider not taking advantage of my friend by exceeding his/her expense expectations.


I always am economical when I order. I never order anything except water. I never order the same thing as the other person either that way we can share a little for more variety. I never leave food - if there's any remaining, I bring it home, always.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:39 PM
 
Location: SE Michigan
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LOL well I assure you neither I nor my friends are filthy rich or anywhere even close! But I do have slightly more disposable income than these three friends, so I don't mind paying. However, I also have friends who are quite a bit better-off than I, and in similar situations I still am conscious about not trying to take advantage, or whatever.

I certainly didn't bring up the appetizer idea; I'm not much of a meat eater (and everyone at the table knows this.) That's why I ordered the cheese omelette. In a diner-type restaurant, it's pretty much the only thing I will enjoy eating.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:41 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,820 posts, read 18,790,699 times
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I most definetly am and do not believe in letting friends pay the total restaraunt bill . I chip in always or I dont go . I think it is postively rude to let a friend pay a full restaraunt bill .I dont care if it is my bday or whatever I would never allow it .
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Mt. Airy
5,311 posts, read 5,331,720 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I most definetly am and do not believe in letting friends pay the total restaraunt bill . I chip in always or I dont go . I think it is postively rude to let a friend pay a full restaraunt bill .I dont care if it is my bday or whatever I would never allow it .
I feel the same way in most cases, but I do believe in not beating a dead horse when negotiating on who's paying the bill (or who's paying what). I will typically show my enthusiasm with wanting to chip in, but if they insist, I think it's rude to continue to fight the battle. I feel the same way when I decide to pick the check up for my family/friends; fighting me too much kills the enjoyment of the deed. A strong, "thank you, I appreciate it" is good handshake on the deed.

When someone says they'll pick the bill up in advance of ordering a meal, I'll order a glass of wine if they have one (but keep it to one), and I'll usually try to stick to a middle price-point to keep things modest while demonstrating my enjoyment of the selection. I think it's an art to some extent.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:53 PM
 
Location: SE Michigan
6,191 posts, read 15,363,159 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I most definetly am and do not believe in letting friends pay the total restaraunt bill . I chip in always or I dont go . I think it is postively rude to let a friend pay a full restaraunt bill .I dont care if it is my bday or whatever I would never allow it .
Oh, well like I said, I offered and I am good with it.

And two of the three (a married couple I've known for many years) are the type of people who will drop everything and help out a friend, including me and they've done so and vice versa. So I am really fine with paying the occasional diner bill.

The other person is a lovely, fun lady and I enjoy her company and friendship a lot but yah she can be a little bit more of a "taker" than a "giver" as a friend.
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Old 09-02-2013, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Missouri
6,047 posts, read 21,653,691 times
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Yes, I would be mindful of what I ordered, out of courtesy.
But it really doesn't sound like they ordered anything lavish. $40 for four people is really reasonable I think. The buffalo chicken wings at brunch is a little weird to me but hey, to each his own.
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