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Old 09-04-2013, 05:30 AM
26,364 posts, read 24,538,548 times
Reputation: 16032


Originally Posted by twoincomes View Post
I should mention a couple of things. First of all, it was taking me about an hour to an hour each evening to do the dishes, which I was happy to do but a big time commitment after I finished work for the day. Trying to go through and scrub all of the dishes prior to putting them into the dishwasher would have taken an extra 15 to 20 minutes each evening, and I wasn't interested in stretching out the time it spent to clean the dishes any longer.

Also, my MIL didn't actually ever do dishes. She loafed on the sofa and watched TV, and the dishes simply piled up in the kitchen. Sometims there were no dishes for me to use, so I'd have to grab a dirty one from the counters, wash it quickly, and then use it. I'm not keen on following instructions from folks that loaf on sofas and have very specific and exacting instructions for others.

Isn't it rather gross and unsanitary to simply leave dirty dishes on your counters for days on end? Is that really worse than putting unrinsed dishes in a (properly working) dishwasher?
1st, yes it is gross to leave dirty dishes laying around, however, you were living in her home, so you need to abide by her rules, period. Was she rude, kinda, however, doesn't take long to get up from the table, rinse the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. If you rinse the dishes off, place them in the dish washer, you can wait until you have a full load to run it through. Doesn't take 1 hour and 20 minutes to do dishes....sorry, but I don't buy it? I believe your making a huge thing out of something that isn't very important, really, you should have just done it, period. Over and out. LOL
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Old 09-04-2013, 05:57 AM
6,635 posts, read 4,604,790 times
Reputation: 13350
All this angst over a dishwasher. Clearly your MILs dishwasher doesn't function in an optimal way. Once you knew that, you should have adjusted your dish washing technique to allow for this fact and rinsed the dishes thoroughly. It seems more environmentally unfriendly to refuse to rinse the dishes, have the dishwasher fail to clean them and then have to rewash the dishes by hand or again in the dishwasher.

You seem to be hung up on how things "should" work and defending your position as the correct one. Let it go and deal with the reality that sometimes you don't know best, that sometimes things don't work properly and sometimes it's better to just smile and shutup.
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Old 09-04-2013, 06:49 AM
28,905 posts, read 46,762,541 times
Reputation: 46039
Originally Posted by twoincomes View Post
It's a waste of water and natural resources. And not necessary.

The other thing - if the dishwasher was not getting ice cream off of dishes, it clearly wasn't cleaning or sanitizing them. Rinsing the dishes wouldn't make them sanitary, just give them the appearance of being clean.
Try not to be the smug, pious son-in-law. Her house, her rules.
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Old 09-04-2013, 07:22 AM
31 posts, read 85,804 times
Reputation: 64
HAHA MIL's are a trip aren't they? I enjoy cooking and recall that a few years ago I made something to bring along to a holiday dinner. Everyone there had some and it, I was sent home with compliments and an empty oven dish. All went well right? MIL said it got her sick, didn't taste good and asked me to not bring anymore food over. I still enjoy when the family asks me to make it again.

When you change out these faulty units in dishwashers, Go ahead and laugh at the fact that they want to blame you and not their machine.
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Old 09-04-2013, 07:23 AM
Location: Loudon, TN
5,794 posts, read 4,848,703 times
Reputation: 19499
Why even bring up something so trivial from so long ago? Do you have some pathological need to be right all the time?

Every dish in our house gets rinsed almost immediately (within 5 or 10 minutes anyway) after the user is finished with it and then it is immediately placed in the dishwasher. We are a family of 2 and it might take 3 days before we accumulate enough dishes to constitute a load and I sure don't want stinky, dirty dishes hanging around for 3 days. I also don't want dirty dishes in the sink/on the counter for more than a few minutes. What if someone comes over and wants to get a glass of water or something and has to reach over all those smelly, disgusting dishes to fill their glass? Eeeew.
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Old 09-04-2013, 07:42 AM
Location: Wonderland
44,961 posts, read 36,253,688 times
Reputation: 63638
When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

If you really wanted to PLEASE your MIL, rather than make some sort of environmental stand in the middle of her kitchen, you would have been gracious enough to do such a small thing her way. Her house, her rules.

In your house, you do dishes your way. In hers, you do them her way. It's really pretty easy to figure out. My gosh, she was letting you stay in her house for WEEKS, which saved you a ton of money, and which was very gracious of her. Bend a little bit.

I have a question though - now that you know how easy it is to fix that dishwasher part, have you offered to come over and fix hers? WITHOUT a lecture and WITHOUT having to prove you're right?

Lots of people rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It's no horrible habit or sin - it's not weird or stupid or "wrong." It's just their preference. Do it their way in their house and keep your mouth shut.

I am pretty particular about my house and especially about beds being made and made "right." Though I never make a big deal of it (or any deal of it) when we have overnight guests, I always, ALWAYS really appreciate when they make the extra effort to make the bed up neatly each morning - the way I do it. And I always notice when they don't. I don't get mad about it, but I take note.

Last edited by KathrynAragon; 09-04-2013 at 08:21 AM..
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Old 09-04-2013, 08:14 AM
501 posts, read 708,731 times
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Thanks for all of your input and opinions folks.
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Old 09-04-2013, 08:46 AM
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
15,750 posts, read 26,796,503 times
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Originally Posted by twoincomes View Post
Well, I taught my wife that scraping the food off is sufficient and the dishes still come out clean, with the exception of certain foods like sticky rice and oatmeal. Those need to be cleaned prior. It took a couple years, but once the kid came around and we no longer have much time, she is all in favor of less time spent doing dishes.

Today she thinks its crazy to rinse and clean dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
You said that you want to spend less time doing the dishes and you said you don't want to rince off the dishes. That to me means more time washing dishes. When you do it after you eat it only takes a small amount of time and the dishes will be cleaner. Too me putting that off is what cost time. It takes longer when their is stuff to clean off the dishes. On top of that, the food particles that remain have to go somewhere. They end up lodges in the drain pipe of the dishwasher. Eventually you get to take that apart and clean it out.
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Old 09-04-2013, 12:27 PM
Location: Hampstead NC
5,590 posts, read 5,113,238 times
Reputation: 14132
Martha stewart says the FIRST thing you should do when you walk into the kitchen to cook is to fill the sink up with hot soapy water. As you go, everything goes in the sink. When you are done cooking, the dishes are done as well.

I don't actually do this, but it seems like good advice.

The OPs mother may be suffering from Perfection Paralysis. My mom has it. Her mother would scrub off the Underside of the kitchen table after every meal. She was known to remove the baseboards once a month to 'sweep' behind them. My mom could never live up to her exacting standards, so she compensated by avoiding the work altogether.
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Old 09-04-2013, 01:09 PM
Location: Las Vegas, NV
2,761 posts, read 2,370,434 times
Reputation: 4809
I do feel that there is a "proper" way to do the dishes... my father was "in charge" of doing the dishes in our house growing up and I learned his methods and I'm "in charge" in my home. I told my wife not to worry about doing them because anytime she did (load dishwasher) I re-arranged them anyway, LOL!

Now I don't take it as far as getting all upset because someone is "doing it wrong". However I see way too many people "filling" the dishwashers and turning them on without maximizing as much capacity as possible! One big waste is trying to put pots and pans in there... it takes up the most space! I reserve the dishwasher for plates, bowls, cups/glasses, and other smallwares and handwash the bigger bulkier items.

I have it down that the dishwasher is run MAYBE once a week... I always make sure to that the sink is empty before going to bed.

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