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This is just a rant, but here goes. I'm a member of the male species for reference.
A couple years ago, my wife and I stayed at my MIL's house for a few weeks while our house was being built. Our apartment lease was up before the house was ready, so we needed someplace to stay. My MIL graciously allowed us to stay there.
I thought I could do the dishes each night since they didn't enjoy it, and it'd be something easy for me to help out with. There were 5 of us there at the time, so there was quite a pile of dishes at the end of each day.
I simply scrape food off of dishes before I put them in the dishwasher. I don't wash dishes first and then wash them again in the dishwasher - that's a waste of water. But, my MIL was getting upset because they weren't coming out as clean as she wanted, and blamed me for not washing the dishes correctly.
Finally, it came to a head one night when she allowed the dishes to run, and then pulls some ice cream bowls out of the top rack, and points out that since I didn't pre-rinse, the bowls didn't get clean and were still dirty! Clearly, something was wrong with their dishwasher, but rather than being upset that their dishwasher was broken, my MIL focused on the problem being that I don't do the dishes properly.
At that point, she fired me from dishes duty and told me never to do dishes again because I don't do them right.
This was a few years ago. I just thought of it now because I've had to repair a couple fill valves in dishwashers that do the same thing. It's a $30 part and takes about two hours to fix, but the dishes don't come out clean when this part has failed.
Comments?
(Couple other bits: I've never touched doing dishes at their house and never will again in the future, even though it's easy. As far as unsanitary goes, they weren't very good about doing dishes and would fill their counters with dirty dishes for days for several days before someone needed the counter space and did them. Dirty dishes would literally sit for days on the counter, which I thought was gross. But apparantly that's fine.)
Honestly, if she preferred the dishes rinsed, why not just rinse them?
It's a waste of water and natural resources. And not necessary.
The other thing - if the dishwasher was not getting ice cream off of dishes, it clearly wasn't cleaning or sanitizing them. Rinsing the dishes wouldn't make them sanitary, just give them the appearance of being clean.
Nobody ever lives up to kitchen tyrants' expectations. You have the perfect excuse to leave her alone to manage her dishwasher as she sees fit. I see no problem.
The rant doesn't seem to be about a malfunctioning dishwasher, which would be a question for the House forum, but whether a guest who is being "graciously" put up by somebody else should do things by their preferred method. Yes, they should.
My mother practically washes all of her dishes before loading the dishwasher. It makes her happy, so when I'm visiting I do it her way.
I wash the dishes before they go in the dishwasher too. I live in an area with hard water and I've never had a dishwasher that could handle unrinsed dishes, in any of the 8 places I've lived in as an adult.
I don't let guests wash my dishes though, except one friend who I know is as careful with kitchen things as I am
The rant doesn't seem to be about a malfunctioning dishwasher, which would be a question for the House forum, but whether a guest who is being "graciously" put up by somebody else should do things by their preferred method. Yes, they should.
My mother practically washes all of her dishes before loading the dishwasher. It makes her happy, so when I'm visiting I do it her way.
Yep. If you offer to help, the gracious thing is to do it her way - not try to make it into a "point". Which seems to be what you were doing. The offer should be intended to help your host, not create additional stress - no matter how silly or wrong you might feel that stress is.
Now - that said, the host has a responsibility to be gracious as well and either decline the offer to help (without criticizing but rather a "thank you so very much but it's no trouble....") or to accept the help and keep her mouth shut. She can rewash the dishes later if needed, after the guest is gone or at least gone to bed.
Well, she was pretty rude. She should have ASKED you to rinse the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher rather than 'fire' you.
But I''m with you, if the dishes are on the counter for several days, aren't they getting crusty, etc? no wonder she has to wash them first and feels the machine is inadequate.
Im sure that she felt criticised by your 'help' and chasing you out of the kitchen was her way of defending her poor habits.
I'm not criticising her dish rules, only her attitude. I have a counter full of dirty dishes most days myself! If you came for dinner and loaded the machine afterwards I would give you a big hug and a second bowl of ice cream!
But, yeah, you could probably let this go. She is who she is, accept her ways. You could even take another try at helping with dishes by doing it her way and joking with her about it.
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