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Old 09-03-2013, 06:28 PM
 
Location: Colorado
1,712 posts, read 3,037,123 times
Reputation: 1747

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I'm pretty direct and I might just go up and say, "did I do something to offend you?"
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Old 09-03-2013, 07:23 PM
 
Location: Hampstead NC
5,499 posts, read 5,033,284 times
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Yep, definitely invite them. Who knows? It could be something that has nothing to do with you. Or maybe your kid said something bratty. Just keep being friendly.

Be the kind of neighbor you want to have.
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Old 09-03-2013, 07:38 PM
 
2,612 posts, read 4,752,803 times
Reputation: 3943
I would definitely invite them to the bbq and use the opportunity to talk to them - just in a conversational way, I would NOT bring up that you think they don't like you - and get a feel for it. I would in general make every possible effort to be friendly and keep the friendship up. Although, it's not really clear whether it was the kids who stopped playing or the parents who didn't allow it. Could be the kids just didn't like each other, and in that case I'd still be super friendly to the parents all the time, because kids can change their minds.
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Old 09-03-2013, 08:29 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,973,692 times
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Invite them. Perhaps you misunderstood, and they've just been busy or something. Or maybe they misread you and thought you had been less social. Hopefully you'll have more of a clear picture after the BBQ.
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Old 09-03-2013, 10:01 PM
 
2,350 posts, read 4,455,055 times
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Yep, I'd say every posted response was good.

Sometimes there are mom cliques which may have developed with the lady next door and the original poster's wife. It happens.

The good news is, in the next 15-18 years or so, you'll probably get to know 100 or more other sets of parents through soccer leagues, school, scouting, swimming, sports, block parties, etc.

Here's our block party a couple years ago. Yes, there is at least one lady in that group with whom my wife didn't connect.
But the big picture is all the other ladies she did connect with. Just like your wife will.
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Old 09-04-2013, 02:53 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,779 posts, read 18,681,251 times
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the lady in the green and white stripes does not look too happy ...wonder what was going on there ?
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Old 09-04-2013, 04:37 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,127 posts, read 11,998,568 times
Reputation: 16543
Yup, invite them.
Ignore any perceived coldness.

Who knows the nutty things in people"s heads...usually made up offenses...
Like you listen to the same radio station her father did that was mean to her....
convoluted nuttiness, imo.
Or you closed a curtain when she liked looking in...I mean people are nutty.
Be glad you don't have to live with her...let that joy in itself make you joyous!

Ignore nuttiness and be a light to her darkness.
"Kill her with kindness."

Imagine 5 years of you saying Good morning with a smile and her being still all
grumpy...hopefully her ridiculousness will fade.

The other thing is ask the husband, Hey, what could I do so
Julie isn't always mad at me?
Don't even get into the "why's"...he might be embarrassed bec it is so stupid and he
has to deal with that stuff way too much himself.
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Old 09-04-2013, 05:40 AM
 
550 posts, read 787,331 times
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Thanks everyone.

With your advice in mind, I walked over with my daughter and invited them yesterday. The father, as soon as he saw that it was us, gave me a big smile, and said, "Hey! Haven't seen you all summer. How have you been?" And also was very kind to my daughter.

He appreciated the invite and seemed (or acted) clueless as to any tension there might be. So I'll let it play itself out and not think too much more of this, hopefully. If they don't come by, I have about 60 others who will be here anyway...

Speaking of which, anyone wanna come help flip burgers? Just kidding.

Thanks again.
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Old 09-04-2013, 07:52 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,582,918 times
Reputation: 45995
Be the bigger person. Invite them.
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Old 09-04-2013, 07:55 AM
 
28,906 posts, read 46,582,918 times
Reputation: 45995
Quote:
Originally Posted by captain_hug99 View Post
I'm pretty direct and I might just go up and say, "did I do something to offend you?"
I'm the total opposite, and am not a big fan of airing of grievances. Because in that situation, only two things are likely to happen:

1) The person does not tell you and then you come off as some needy, paranoid freak, or
2) The person does tell you, which leads to a dustup, thereby rendering the situation even worse.
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