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Old 09-08-2013, 05:37 PM
25,953 posts, read 26,761,579 times
Reputation: 26716


You can start by not enabling him. Don't do his laundry or make his meals or clean his room - nothing. Let's start with that and some basic responsibilities. As long as you continue to enable him the less of a need he has to move or do anything. Make living with you a bit more difficult. If you order in don't get him anything. If you won't kick him out then force him out by making him responsible.

Old 09-08-2013, 05:41 PM
Location: Nassau, Long Island, NY
16,408 posts, read 28,886,666 times
Reputation: 7268
Originally Posted by silverwing View Post
Counseling for the parents to deal with the emotional manipulation and a lawyer to map out the legal part of eviction. It may not be so easy to hoist his barnacled ass out of the house if he (as expected) would not leave.

If this isn't resolved ::: puts on Amazing Kreskin turban:: I predict that the parents will become old and frail, still living in that house with their parasitic child. The son will become the one with the power, taking their SS or pensions, massively neglecting their welfare and abusing them if they protest the treatment.
LMAO @ barnacled ass!

Very sad but true. There's a term for it: elder abuse.
Old 09-08-2013, 05:43 PM
Location: Nassau, Long Island, NY
16,408 posts, read 28,886,666 times
Reputation: 7268
Originally Posted by Zen Dragonfly View Post
He is sleeping all day because he plays video games all night, it's not depression, it's a freeloader syndrome
Isn't that a recognizable mental disorder in the DSM-5 by now?
Old 09-08-2013, 05:44 PM
519 posts, read 702,413 times
Reputation: 977
I don't think you are stuck with him. Give him a date and involve the local authorities
Old 09-08-2013, 05:55 PM
6,475 posts, read 9,926,451 times
Reputation: 10919
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
PS. Another alternative is to sell your house, move into a senior living apartment and use any left over money take a wonderful vacation---just the two of you.
Best suggestion by far!
Old 09-08-2013, 06:00 PM
6,475 posts, read 9,926,451 times
Reputation: 10919
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I'm sorry, are you for real?

You are actually going to come here and try to tell people that for 20 YEARS now you have let your adult son live with you and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but sit on the couch, play and eat?

Yeah, it happens...a lot!!! My mother, who can't bear to throw out her precious son, who by the way is 50-FREAKING-3, is suffering the same fate, as are 2 co-workers. We've managed to get bro out of the house 3 times, but then he comes back crying, and mommy can't let her widdle boy suffer (common theme). I think that's what happens most times. I have said, in other threads (to many mommies' chagrin), that mom's are their wayward sons' worst enemies. I've given up trying to help my mom... my 3 other sisters keep trying, to no avail. I hope this OP finds it in herself to play hardball with her son, if it's real.
Old 09-08-2013, 06:30 PM
Location: mid wyoming
2,008 posts, read 6,041,282 times
Reputation: 1878
I saw this a lot in Tennessee,and for more reasons than I care to spell out here, the son should be kicked out. He is old enough to be on his own and take care of himself. He just wants you to pay for as much as he can get you to pay for and he gets to live for free.
Old 09-08-2013, 06:48 PM
803 posts, read 1,624,379 times
Reputation: 574
omg! i was just thinking about the movie Stepbrothers with john c reilly and will ferrel. those two actors played Dale and Brennan two very immature guys who still lived at home and were both 38 and 39 years old. the parents gave them an ultimatum. .get a job and get out because the parents were deciding to sell the house because they wanted to fulfill a lifelong dream of sailing thru a chain of islands. great movie.

i have to say that i think that it must be very hard for the op to just kick her son out. but op, have u tried any ultimatums?
Old 09-08-2013, 07:02 PM
8 posts, read 10,554 times
Reputation: 40
Nobody should be pissed at the son. He's doing precisely what dear old mom and dad have always taught him to.

Mom and Dad are the ones who need the therapy and the help. When they change themselves, their son will naturally move out on his own. Until then, any eviction or disconnection of xboxes and the like are just bandaids.
Old 09-08-2013, 07:09 PM
Location: Wisconsin
17,025 posts, read 17,335,191 times
Reputation: 41321
Originally Posted by cheryjohns View Post
I call bulls**t. It didn't bother the OP for 20 years -it's not bothering her now.
I suspect that it is a problem right now because both parents are in their mid-sixties, they may have retired or tried to retire and they can not afford to pay their son's expenses/insurance/etc anymore on their small Social Security checks and, of course, 48 year old son isn't covered on the parents Medicare plan.

How much do you want to bet that Lazy Son is insisting that one or more of his parents continue working full time so that Lazy Son can continue living his current life style?
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