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Old 09-10-2013, 07:01 PM
 
2,759 posts, read 3,413,095 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Lol...I thought you meant tramp like hobo.

I had this picture of baggy pants and a stick with a bag on it.
You, too? I pictured someone with holes in their plaid shirt.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:27 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,191,321 times
Reputation: 42502
Quote:
Originally Posted by breakingbad View Post
My good friend recently moved to the city I live in for a man that since her arrival has nothing to do with her. She is pretty but can't keep friends -except me and that is because I let her complain about everything without bothering me too much. She is 43 years old and I am embarrassed for her and am at the point I can't be around her...the reason being that her clothes are entirely too skimpy for her age. She wears the shortest shorts and tight tank tops in which displays her 43 year old breasts. It's not like she has a great figure either. Not nearly as good and my figure and I always keep it classy and age appropriate One day she walked around in her bikini top in a restaurant and around town - ugh. People stare at her and I can't tell it isn't in a good way!
I am so uncomfortable and embarrassed for her and to be with her. My family is shocked too! She sits with her legs drawn into her chest showing her big cellulite trunk legs and butt without a care in the world. My six year old is uncomfortable too.
Do I say something to her? As a friend? I am inclined not to because things never turn out well in situations like this. BUT she is always complaining why she doesn't have a boyfriend! I think geesh you never will at this rate.
My other friend has an amazing figure (implants) and looks like a barbie doll. She wears tight shirts (can't help being tight due to her enormous breast) but conservative otherwise.
Do I say something or bite my tongue? Is it fair to her? Me?
So weird she does that?
Anyone have suggestions? Thoughts? Insight?
There is no friendly, polite way to tell someone she looks like an old tramp, she embarrasses you, everyone is laughing at her cheesy thighs, and that's why she doesn't have a boyfriend. Frankly you don't sound like a good friend at all.
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:30 PM
 
Location: Texas
43,402 posts, read 52,384,520 times
Reputation: 70375
Quote:
Originally Posted by Soda120 View Post
You, too? I pictured someone with holes in their plaid shirt.
Does that mean we are old?
Attached Thumbnails
Friend looks like an old tramp and I bothers me.-image.jpg  
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Old 09-10-2013, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Here.
13,825 posts, read 12,575,052 times
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Maybe you could begin the discussion by asking her what she thinks about what you are wearing or what other people are wearing. Then you can proceed to explain to her how important it is for people to dress respectably. This makes it less confrontational to her and more of just a general fashion conversation.

If she has moved in from far away, you can tell her that people dress differently where you live or that people are more conscious of what others wear so she should modify her wardrobe from what she was used to. Maybe you could go clothes shopping together and help her pick out clothes.

Bless your heart for putting up with her, but you shouldn't have to suffer. That is not friendship.
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:12 PM
Itz
 
714 posts, read 1,919,166 times
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Try this approach
Ask her what TYPE of relationship she is trying to attract? Kindly word it that one should always dress appropriately for the type of person they are trying to get attention from.

Put into words how you went to the Country Club (or whatever) and how you noticed how beautiful the women looked in their (fill in the blanks) dress. How xyz found a wonderful man last year and now they are getting married. How you envy her style and wish you could look as well in the same style.

Something to that effect.. I had a friend that would always pull this stuff off with people.. half of what she said was pure BS, but it was a non threatening approach.

When you go out, kindly state there is a dress code .. I have pulled this one many times.
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:37 PM
 
1,263 posts, read 2,758,627 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Lol...I thought you meant tramp like hobo.

I had this picture of baggy pants and a stick with a bag on it.
That would probably be an improvement over the "rapidly aging barfly" look.
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Old 09-10-2013, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,241 posts, read 3,273,671 times
Reputation: 3010
Not much you can do. I imagine she writes off any criticism of how she dresses as being from someone jealous of her. This was likely true for the most part when she was younger, girls would say she looks slutty because they don't like the men paying attention to her. She'll likely come to the revelation on her own that shes not a spring chicken and shouldnt dress like that, you never see 80 year olds dressed that way because they know itd be gross to a lot of people lol. She just hasn't properly let go of her youth yet.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:16 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 60,463,567 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
There is no friendly, polite way to tell someone she looks like an old tramp, she embarrasses you, everyone is laughing at her cheesy thighs, and that's why she doesn't have a boyfriend. Frankly you don't sound like a good friend at all.
Yes -- that's what I was thinking -- it's pretty obvious that the woman described is trying to hold onto her youth, trying too hard but a friend I think wouldn't be as critical over it. There are always those people who try to act and dress too young but if you like them, you just see that trait as just some aspect of them and you just accept them for how they are.
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Old 09-10-2013, 09:50 PM
 
Location: At the Lake (in Texas)
2,072 posts, read 2,026,236 times
Reputation: 5032
I read something the other day that may apply here. This statement was in regard to perfume and cologne, and it spoke to me because in the past I think I have been guilty of wearing too much because I always wanted to be sure I smelled good. The statement was "a woman's scent needs to be discovered, not announced." That really resonated with me! Perhaps the same could be applied to a woman's attributes, i.e. breasts, legs, etc. You could tell her about this statement and let it open up a discussion about appropriate clothing that allows her attributes to be discovered by those who show themselves worthy by spending time with her. Maybe? I just love the statement and thought about it when I was reading all these posts.
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Old 09-10-2013, 11:03 PM
 
1,421 posts, read 1,893,943 times
Reputation: 1941
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
There is no friendly, polite way to tell someone she looks like an old tramp, she embarrasses you, everyone is laughing at her cheesy thighs, and that's why she doesn't have a boyfriend. Frankly you don't sound like a good friend at all.
You are right...my post makes me seem like a real nice friend. It was completely lacking empathy and understanding towards her. I feel bad.
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