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Old 03-26-2015, 11:30 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
1,034 posts, read 1,037,929 times
Reputation: 1632

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
As a single woman, I consider the condition of the mouth I'm going to kiss. If that is shallow, I can own that. Some women don't like bald heads, or short men. I really don't care about stuff like that (things out of our control). My parents have brown coffee stained teeth and my whole life I've been trying to avoid Mom's nasty coffee breath. So I'm sure part of my aversion is due to that.

As a person who is underemployed...people spend all kinds of money they don't have on things like cars or iGadgets or data plans or vacations. But there is no disputing the relationship between good teeth and success. And a lot of what I'm talking about is not just cosmetic. I had a very dark tooth...went to see about getting it bleached...Dentist found a dead root and my insurance paid for the root canal. I paid a small additional fee for interior whitening. Minimal out of pocket expense, worth every penny. Lots of work that is covered will improve the appearance of your teeth. My teeth are far from perfect, I will never be a toothpaste model, but at least they are now all roughly the same color.

As a person with teeth, I know very well that dental health, such as the condition of crowns or caps or fillings or gums, is very closely linked to overall physical health. If you leave spaces between your teeth , that can cause malformation of the mouth and jaw that will cause serious problems later. It is NOT just a cosmetic thing.

I feel bad, because the guy I went out with last night was nice. But to me it was about more than the teeth. His self esteem has been impacted by his teeth, yet he doesn't make getting them fixed a priority. So what does that say about his datability?
To the bolded..this makes me so sad. The reason his self esteem was impacted was because no doubt he had gone out before with someone such as yourself. There is a difference between not brushing your teeth and someone who has a tooth missing or no caps. I recently had a co-worker who was tired of his teeth get every single one of them pulled out and got all implants...20k dollars. Some folks are caught up in teeth while others look what is behind the teeth in on someone heart and soul.

Just because you have good dental insurance does not mean everyone else does. I don't and pay about 2000 a year just for cleanings and keep up. And I don't think it says anything about HIS "datability" it says more about yours.
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Old 03-26-2015, 11:36 PM
 
105 posts, read 71,340 times
Reputation: 121
Yes the OP is speaking from a place of privilege(not that healthcare SHOULD have to be a privilege and there is no excuse for it in this country-but thats another discussion altogether),but for god's sake,at least get your teeth CLEANED once in a while-I had a blind date once and the same type of situation..only it was as if the dude hadn't picked up a toothbrush in years,his breath REEKED and it almost knocked me over,his teeth looked like mashed up candy corn but the rest of him looked good-that was bizarre.. there is nothing wrong with being picky about who you date-You can say all you want about the OP sounding shallow,but what's wrong with being choosy,I worry when people aren't,you're suppose to be. It's NOT SHALLOW to make choices and only backward people go along with everything because "its the nice thing to do." Yes,character is important, I have been attracted to a handsome guy or two,or three, and then they open their mouth and ruin it by sounding completely unintelligent(and technically thats unfair too,maybe they were just having a bad moment) or BEING shallow or mean to someone else(and their teeth were fine)but you'd all be lying if you said you accept people whole-heartedly always, that a thought of judgement NEVER crosses your mind-sure we'd all like to believe we live by the golden rules of inner beauty and I think most people do try and hell-when you fall in love there is usually more to it than looks,its usually somethng invisible(chemistry)-but if someone is not maintaining their body/mind to a point it makes you wonder about their sense of self-worth,self-esteem,hell that is just as important to me. Things are more complicated than just what you are suppose to think!! I'm not saying teeth have to be perfect,mine certainly aren't. Everyone has pet peeves,everyone is different. I don't have medical insurance right now, but I still make myself go get a check up once a year because it is important, I do have dental and I hate going to the dentist,but I also don't want to die of a deadly infection someday because of a fear or phobia,overall I think most people missed the point of the OP's post(or chose to)..

Last edited by cowbirdcat; 03-27-2015 at 12:23 AM..
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Old 03-27-2015, 04:03 AM
 
1,780 posts, read 2,166,507 times
Reputation: 5877
Quote:
Originally Posted by cowbirdcat View Post
I think most people missed the point of the OP's post(or chose to)..
I think so, too. I had a guy ask me out on a date, but his teeth were a special kind of nasty. As you say, it's like he never picked up a toothbrush and you could smell his breath from a fair distance. Who wants to kiss that? Not me!

Basic hygiene is a big deal and if you're not willing to take care of your teeth, that's indicative of some bigger mental issues.
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Old 05-04-2016, 07:58 PM
 
1 posts, read 547 times
Reputation: 15
I'm with the OP, bad teeth which causes someone to be self conscious yet does nothing about it isn't attractive in the least. All of the ignorant people who say the OP is being judgemental are hypocrites in denial. You judge others based on anything from; hygiene, looks, income, education, political party, religion, attire, and yes, appearance, which includes the condition of one's teeth. Citing cost is a copout. You can find dentists who are willing to accept payment plans for your treatments, you need to make the effort to interview them. If you don't care about the condition of your teeth, not everyone has to accept this. Likewise, some are turned off by perfected veneers. Why bash the OP who just wanted to know the mindset of why some professionals choose to remain self conscious about their teeth vs remedying the cause.
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Old 05-04-2016, 08:46 PM
 
13,165 posts, read 20,787,609 times
Reputation: 35432
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunnybunny View Post
I'm with the OP, bad teeth which causes someone to be self conscious yet does nothing about it isn't attractive in the least. All of the ignorant people who say the OP is being judgemental are hypocrites in denial. You judge others based on anything from; hygiene, looks, income, education, political party, religion, attire, and yes, appearance, which includes the condition of one's teeth. Citing cost is a copout. You can find dentists who are willing to accept payment plans for your treatments, you need to make the effort to interview them. If you don't care about the condition of your teeth, not everyone has to accept this. Likewise, some are turned off by perfected veneers. Why bash the OP who just wanted to know the mindset of why some professionals choose to remain self conscious about their teeth vs remedying the cause.
Please check the date of the OP. She's probably moved on.
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Old 05-04-2016, 09:04 PM
 
13,041 posts, read 15,391,555 times
Reputation: 15287
I don't know, I wonder if we have gone overboard with cosmetic dentistry. Should everyone have perfect white teeth? I think it takes away character when you change your teeth to match everyone else's. I'm not talking about decay or missing teeth or broken teeth. When I watch old shows or movies, I always notice their teeth. I like Lauren Hutton's gap between her front teeth. These days a starlet in Hollywood would be forced to fix that gap or they wouldn't be working in Hollywood.


But these days, cosmetic dentistry is expensive. And if I were inclined to have it done, I'd worry that I was going to spend a whole lot of money and hate the result. I have seen so many people unhappy with dental work that has cost them tens of thousands of dollars. For one thing, a lot of cosmetically fixed teeth aren't translucent and they just look fake. I'd rather have less than perfect natural teeth that at least look real than a mouth full of Chicklet-looking teeth that cost me $30,000.
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Old 05-04-2016, 10:12 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
78,635 posts, read 70,531,500 times
Reputation: 76618
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
. Nobody likes going to the dentist, myself included, but most of us realize the benefits.
I treat dentist visits as nap time. I completely relax and half snooze off. I didn't need any fillings as a kid, so I never learned to fear dentists.
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Old 05-05-2016, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,637 posts, read 33,429,727 times
Reputation: 32355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bunnybunny View Post
I'm with the OP, bad teeth which causes someone to be self conscious yet does nothing about it isn't attractive in the least. All of the ignorant people who say the OP is being judgemental are hypocrites in denial. You judge others based on anything from; hygiene, looks, income, education, political party, religion, attire, and yes, appearance, which includes the condition of one's teeth. Citing cost is a copout. You can find dentists who are willing to accept payment plans for your treatments, you need to make the effort to interview them. If you don't care about the condition of your teeth, not everyone has to accept this. Likewise, some are turned off by perfected veneers. Why bash the OP who just wanted to know the mindset of why some professionals choose to remain self conscious about their teeth vs remedying the cause.
You can ask my coworker who just got a quote for $12k AFTER insurance to fix her teeth. Your average middle class person probably ain't walking around with $12k to fix something that is not causing her major harm.

Oh yeah, she has a LTR so there are people who are okay with teeth not being perfect.
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Old 05-05-2016, 08:50 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,050 posts, read 12,832,449 times
Reputation: 31351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
I treat dentist visits as nap time. I completely relax and half snooze off. I didn't need any fillings as a kid, so I never learned to fear dentists.
that might be a sign they are giving you too much laughing gas.
When you leave, does any other part of your body hurt than your mouth?


Just kidding
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Old 05-05-2016, 11:10 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,730 posts, read 2,084,662 times
Reputation: 4158
If a person can eat well with his or her teeth and wash them well there is nothing to fix.
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