Awkward lunch at work (person, gossip, meeting, mother)

[cindersslipper]

Oh for goodness sake people it's lunch.

What on earth is the problem here? You have to eat.

If you don't wish to dine with your boss, try not to appear like a scared weird little poodle, just tell her you have plans already.

Talk about a First World Problem.

[DrEarth]

I'm on a tight budget, and never eat out for lunch. I would tell her that until I receive a raise, I will be eating my sandwich from home.

[Dayton Sux]

^
lol..excellent!

[animalcrazy]

Do you have any plans to advance at your job? If so your boss is a good stepping stone. Maybe she sees some potential in you that she'd like to explore. If you're ambitious and plan on getting a promotion then these "political" moves are necessary. If there is no hope of a promotion and you need a favor like some extra time off for something then being the bosses friend may be advantageous. If you do something wrong at work and need someone in your corner it doesn't hurt to have your boss help you there. Suck it up and play the game, who knows you may even have her job some day.

[Tracysherm]

I just do this:

When people are in the building who I know will try to get me to eat with them, I post a piece of paper on my office door saying "DND, doing a webinar," and then shut the door and eat in my office. We all do tons of online education here, so no one questions that I'm actually on a webinar. Then I just happily eat alone, while doing work or reading the news (or posting here on C-D).

[oh-eve]

I never go to lunch with coworkers or bosses. Lunch is my time away from them, I need it to recharge.

I would just tell your boss, you have made other plans. If she keeps pushing, say you are meeting a friend EVERY day for lunch. You can add, you never get to see the friend otherwise or you two are on a fitness plan that requires walking. Or specific food. Or whatever.

Or you have to run errands. There are tons of possibilities to get out of the lunch duty, none of them are offensive.

[eureka1]

Fill out your time card to show the lunch as work time. When she has to sign it that will spark a discussion and then stand firm.

[cindersslipper]

Well OP, you can either take the friendliness of your new boss as a positive or a negative.

The positive being, 90% of all internal promotions are political.

In other words, it's not what you know, it's who you blow, and she has given you a wide open doorway to being her Right Hand Man. A smart or ambitious person would be BUYING her lunch, as well as eating with her.

The negative view is the one you've taken - why is she doing this, I just want to be left alone.

After your Awkward Lunch, I get a feeling you will get left alone from now on.

[angrymillionaire]

Originally Posted by Kibbiekat

I would probably say "thanks, but I brought lunch from home" or take your lunch and leave a few minutes before noon. You should probably go sometimes, but I don't think you should feel obligated to go every time.

This place is weird, where I worked before, people had individual lunch & most brought food from home. These community lunches are killing me. Today again I was done at 12 & she came over to ask if I would be ""joining them"" for lunch. I declined & said I would go pick up my kid. She had a forced smile & left. Now I'm not sure why she would think I would just go to lunch with people on a longer shift & when they resume work I should go home. She is a mother herself but her kids are grown but I do not know why she would expect me to pay for extra daycare just so I can lunch with her.

Maybe its me. I prefer to say hi to colleagues when I meet them on hallways or to really talk at meetings etc. I just want to meet them on a professional level these people are not my friends. Plus because the boss is an instigator of gossip, I prefer to stay clear of her. I had lunch with the team on my first day here I thought that was enough.

I feel weird about bringing home lunch when I''m sorrounded by ""3 course meal lunch buyers"".

I don't want to come off as unfriendly but I'm a little bit of a loner & something about her just makes me want to stay away.

[angrymillionaire]

Originally Posted by Dayton Sux

I find office lunches awkward, period.

This working lunch with your boss as a one-on-one thing isn't so bad though. I could deal with that. I agree with you about bringing yr own lunch (that is what I do). The money/health issue could be dealt with by ordering just a salad and iced tea.

@@@@

For me the awkward lunch is the group lunch or monthly office lunch.

I avoided those.

I took naps during lunch, quick cat-nap type naps, but they helped me get through the day. It was understood that I took these, so when the monthly "birthday" lunch came up (my work group had the prerson who's birthday was that month pick the lunch spot) I skipped those saying I needed my nap. People were sort of pissed off but no pressure. The exception to that was the bosses birthday, as it would be bad form to skip that particular month.


I had nothing in common with my coworkers. I was gay and in the closet so there was nothing to say to them or share with them. I wasnt into sports and didnt have (still dont) a TV, nor watch the movies they watched (European'indy films for me/Transformers style action adventure for them), no family to talk about, so zero common ground for small talk.

So when these lunches came around, here I was, picking at my salad, sipping an iced tea, counting the croutons, desultory chatting with co-workers (always tried to find the end of the table) waiting for the ordeal to be over.

This! I just met these people. After asking in which part of town they live, do they have kids etc I have nothing else to say to them. Maybe I''m a little socially awkward but It never becomes an issue if I''m left alone but when I meet strangers, I get nervous & my mouth literally dries out etc. I''m just scared that if I go to lunch with them I''ll say the wrong things.

Plus I forgot to mention that I lied to get this job so since I was hired off of a fake CV I'm scared of unnecessary social interaction.