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Old 09-12-2013, 02:00 PM
 
398 posts, read 800,212 times
Reputation: 343

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I knew a few people who I could have written nasty obits about, but why bother? I don't like it when people as cpg35223 wrote elevate someone to sainthood just because they are dead. One person who died a few years ago was a two faced liar out & out and constantly threw other people and departments under the bus. When he died I did not feel sad, I dis not feel happy -I was indifferent. People would begin about how nice he was etc., the very same people who had nothing but complaints about him alive. I would tell it how it was and I would have people tell me not to talk ill of the dead. My response - Why not, why should he be so saintly now?
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:47 PM
 
4,270 posts, read 13,975,195 times
Reputation: 3352
WOW. I'll give the surviving kids the benefit of the doubt that the mother was indeed cruel but heck, I hope I am remembered in a much more positive manner when I die!
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:00 PM
 
Location: 'greater' Buffalo, NY
3,067 posts, read 2,110,588 times
Reputation: 3965
Disagree with the choice of the word "vicious" for the headline. If the writer of the obituary is painting an accurate portrait, then "vicious" would've been an apt description for the mother, not for a person who was likely subjected to her abuse on a daily basis for 18 years (and who was inspired by these experiences to take a stand against all cases of child abuse). I would've gone with " uniquely bitter" (space permitting) myself. I quite like this obituary.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:03 PM
Status: "Be yourself. What's the alternative?" (set 24 days ago)
 
8,720 posts, read 10,854,236 times
Reputation: 12773
I think the children will get some healing through this. As far as I'm concerned as long as it was the truth, fact-checked by a newspaper writer (which, would be odd, but possible), more power to them for writing it. Why lie about something that sounds this horrific?
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:13 PM
 
Location: 'greater' Buffalo, NY
3,067 posts, read 2,110,588 times
Reputation: 3965
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nanny Goat View Post
I think the children will get some healing through this. As far as I'm concerned as long as it was the truth, fact-checked by a newspaper writer (which, would be odd, but possible), more power to them for writing it. Why lie about something that sounds this horrific?
Yep, I agree. She made it to 78, so I'd say the six surviving kids are long overdue for some catharsis
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Northern Illinois
2,187 posts, read 3,619,629 times
Reputation: 6351
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. I see no need to publicly air laundry after a person is dead when the abuse could have been dealt with (and possibly was - who knows now?) in a positive manner while the person was still alive. For adults to harbor that kind of hatred and ill will for so long speaks volumes at what they must have endured - but just having her dead will never erase the act or the memory of the acts. The witch is dead really only applied to a fairy tale - which this was not. What possible good can this obit accomplish now - she can no longer explain herself one way or another, and it will change nothing? People who really knew these people were probably aware on some level at what kind of person she was. The change these folks need is going to have to come from within themselves.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,215 posts, read 7,916,204 times
Reputation: 7740
One of the commenters notes that these children tried to legally leave their mother's custody in the '70s and were denied. I can't blame them for what they wrote.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Area 51.5
13,904 posts, read 11,488,445 times
Reputation: 9079
Sometimes, you just have to clear the air. They did. I hope they feel better.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,623 posts, read 9,692,127 times
Reputation: 11000
Quote:
Originally Posted by just1paul View Post
I knew a few people who I could have written nasty obits about, but why bother? I don't like it when people as cpg35223 wrote elevate someone to sainthood just because they are dead. One person who died a few years ago was a two faced liar out & out and constantly threw other people and departments under the bus. When he died I did not feel sad, I dis not feel happy -I was indifferent. People would begin about how nice he was etc., the very same people who had nothing but complaints about him alive. I would tell it how it was and I would have people tell me not to talk ill of the dead. My response - Why not, why should he be so saintly now?
I've heard more than one widow lady do this. Complain, moan and groan while he's alive and then he dies and becomes a saint. Unreal.

I had an uncle that we could've written a scathing obit about but we chose to snicker through the funeral service as the man talked about some guy none of us knew! He laid it on pretty thick but we all knew better. And no, he has never been elevated to sainthood!
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Old 09-12-2013, 04:28 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,502,154 times
Reputation: 29076
It would appear that at least one of her children is as mean-spirited as he/she said their mother was. Nothing is served by this level of viciousness no matter how deserved.
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