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Old 09-13-2013, 11:58 AM
 
Location: High Bridge, NJ
3,858 posts, read 8,345,631 times
Reputation: 3330

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Follow up: Story behind scathing obituary revealed - My News 4 - KRNV, Reno, NV

It sounds like the woman was indeed a wicked witch. The children were the impetus behind Nevada changing their laws to allow a child to terminate parental rights. Things must have been pretty bad. If it were me though, (and thank God it's not) I think closure would come from just letting it all go and not acknowledging she had ever existed in the first place. If no one claimed her body she'd be buried by the state in some potter's field in a numbered grave, forgotten forever. Now she's just getting more attention, but everybody deals with things in their own way I guess...
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Old 09-13-2013, 12:16 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,985 posts, read 14,623,457 times
Reputation: 14868
I think they did this to bring awareness of child abuse.
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Old 09-13-2013, 06:10 PM
 
Location: SW MO
23,605 posts, read 31,367,658 times
Reputation: 29064
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Why is it "viciousness" when it's the truth....but it's ok when it's a lie?..the womans dead...she'll never know, and if she did guaranteed she wouldn't care. Why should the family pretend she was something she wasn't? Why does being dead absolve one of all the hurt and damage they've caused while they lived?
Since I don't recall having said, intimated or agreed with any of what you wrote I guess you'll just have to ask someone else.
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Old 09-14-2013, 12:09 AM
 
Location: Dade City, FL
116 posts, read 117,895 times
Reputation: 69
No, that is dishonoring your mother and dishonoring the dead also. God will cast His judgment on them.
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Old 09-14-2013, 12:28 AM
 
Location: SLC, UT
1,571 posts, read 2,274,591 times
Reputation: 3848
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jman2012 View Post
No, that is dishonoring your mother and dishonoring the dead also. God will cast His judgment on them.
You are absolutely ridiculous. This mother physically and mentally abused her children so badly that the children's testimony helped pass a law in Nevada that helped children in that state to be able to terminate parental rights if the parents were abusive. She does NOT deserve any honor. Get off your soapbox. If someone doesn't earn respect in life, they sure don't earn it just because they died.

Scathing obit about "evil" Nev. mother goes viral - CBS News
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Old 09-14-2013, 06:39 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,168,039 times
Reputation: 4297
Quote:
Originally Posted by CFoulke View Post
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. I see no need to publicly air laundry after a person is dead when the abuse could have been dealt with (and possibly was - who knows now?) in a positive manner while the person was still alive. For adults to harbor that kind of hatred and ill will for so long speaks volumes at what they must have endured - but just having her dead will never erase the act or the memory of the acts. The witch is dead really only applied to a fairy tale - which this was not. What possible good can this obit accomplish now - she can no longer explain herself one way or another, and it will change nothing? People who really knew these people were probably aware on some level at what kind of person she was. The change these folks need is going to have to come from within themselves.
The most evil people can have many faces.

Did anyone read about Hitler's last surviving bodyguard, who died just recently - Rochus Misch? Speaking of his "boss" Misch described the Fuhrer as "a very normal man... he was no brute, he was no monster" and "he was a wonderful boss. I lived with him for five years. We were the closest people who worked with him ... we were always there. Hitler was never without us day and night."

Probably one of the best examples of how one person's view on another doesn't accurately sum up the whole person and their affect on history The same can be found among more mundane people.

As a genealogist, I would appreciate if more honest obits were written. You can be sure that the effects of the woman written about in the OP were felt in more than just one generation. My great grandmother, once her first husband died and she remarried, never had all her children under her roof ever again. Why? Stories that have been passed down in the 70+ years after her death are vague, but paint her as a difficult, selfish woman. Four of her children, all under the age of 17, were left to fend for themselves in an old farmhouse. Two of them left to visit a relative on Christmas, leaving the 11-year-old to be looked after by an older brother. He scuppered off to visit a girlfriend, leaving his little sister by herself with no food. The poor child killed a rabbit with a stick; that was her holiday meal. What kind of woman abandons her children to that kind of life? When I checked G-grandma's obituary, little was said about her other than basic information. The fact that there was nothing descriptive was telling, but if her offspring had been as truthful about her as the children of woman in the OP obit, later generations might have had a better understanding about the dynamics of the family. As the family historian, I would have been able to recreate a fuller genetic biography and not be left to speculation.
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Old 09-14-2013, 06:56 AM
 
Location: North Carolina
2,657 posts, read 7,168,039 times
Reputation: 4297
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
..... I'm not convinced that vitriolic gestures after the person has died relieve anything for long. Besides, that level of hatred is life limiting and a huge waste of emotional energy.
I'm picturing it more like a mental dump. The opportunity to expose the woman for her evil is like a mental and emotional X-Lax. It appears to have a left a foul air among some, but the offspring probably feel better.

I've read of a version of this tactic among a number of child abuse support groups. They can't face, or know that the effort of confronting their abuser would be futile, so they write a letter to the one who hurt them. Typically, they're told to then burn or shred or flush the letter, creating a symbolic expiation of the bad energy. If it was necessary for the offspring of this abuser to publicize the letter, more power to them. It doesn't affect me; it may make other people take stock of their own behavior and cause them to forge a better relationship with their kids, or make amends.
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Old 09-14-2013, 07:11 AM
 
3,491 posts, read 5,153,560 times
Reputation: 6513
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZDesertBrat View Post
I'm surprised that the newspaper even consented to publish it. My ex sister in law works at our town's newspaper and she says they would never publish something like that.
Many newspapers these days have paid obituaries. Which means that the family buys the space and writes the obit. No fact checking of any kind is done as it is not written by the newspaper. The only thing that would not be allowed is vulgar language. Anything else goes.

That said, I don't judge these people for doing what they did. If it provided them with some catharsis, then good for them. After what they endured, I think they're entitled to whatever provides them some relief.
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Old 09-14-2013, 08:38 AM
 
994 posts, read 1,259,944 times
Reputation: 2002
That's really sad. If the goal was to bring attention to child abuse, I guess I can somewhat understand why the kids would do that. However, I like to think that if I hated somebody related to me that much, I just wouldn't acknowledge their existence (or ceased existence) at all.
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Old 09-14-2013, 08:44 AM
 
12,870 posts, read 15,349,470 times
Reputation: 14809
Quote:
Originally Posted by Curmudgeon View Post
Since I don't recall having said, intimated or agreed with any of what you wrote I guess you'll just have to ask someone else.
My comment wasn't directed to you in particular...just a question I would ask of anyone...no offense intended.
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