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Is there a way to notify the school so they can keep on eye on the girl?
That mother sounds like my "mother", so I can tell you that as a child I was not able to verbalize what was going on with the belts and hands. As time wore on, I heard that court system was "interested" but no one did anything to help my brother and me. I left home when I was 17 and never looked back, however, I wonder how different I would be today if my early life wasn't run by fear.
Yes, I think if it's possible, it might be good to notify the school. Or try to get to know the daughter as a friendly neighbor and at some point asking her if everything is alright.
OP, it's so hard to know exactly what to do in that case. You sound like a very caring person and normal in your reaction to what you're hearing. CPS should investigate no matter what. This is how abuse goes on for years and worse has to happen before they'll step in. They don't have to remove the girl, just check it out. Getting yelled at all the time is enough IMO to call it abuse. And no kid wants to be seperated from their parents, no matter how bad it is but it takes a person on the outside looking in to judge what's what.
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Reports to CPS such as yours would be treated as "information only" reports. This means, based on the information obtained, CPS does not feel there is enough information to warrant an actual investigation, but the information is logged into the system.
I think you did the right thing by calling your concerns in to CPS. You did not do this based on anything but actual concern for the child, and that is what CPS is there for. If this child is NOT being abused, then this information will just sit there and eventually fade away into history, as it is not relevant to this child and family. And that will be great. If the child is being abused though, your report will be part of a trail of documentation that may eventually help CPS build a case that will cause them to intervene in this family.
Excellent post. As Kitten says the next report that is called in by the school or someplace elese will be taken more seriously because of your first report.
Yes, I think if it's possible, it might be good to notify the school. Or try to get to know the daughter as a friendly neighbor and at some point asking her if everything is alright.
My neighbors would see "mommy dearest" come down the street with her belt in hand looking for us. Later they would make remarks but I couldn't/wouldn't answer them for fear of what she would inflict if we didn't keep the dirty family secret. Trust me, the little girl cannot and will not speak up until she feels totally safe. I know she is watching everyone and will find a safe harbor sooner, or sadly, later. Just be there for the little girl, act like a friend, give her a safe place to play as she will remember it always. The people who showed me just common decency did more to help me through things than they ever knew, by setting a different example. I remember them clearly....fifty years on.
Simple solution: Tape record the insanity. Go to her school, let the counselor listen to it. They will absolutely call the girl down and talk to her. If there is any inkling that she is being abused, the school HAS TO call CPS and CPS HAS TO investigate.
Simple solution: Tape record the insanity. Go to her school, let the counselor listen to it. They will absolutely call the girl down and talk to her. If there is any inkling that she is being abused, the school HAS TO call CPS and CPS HAS TO investigate.
I agree with this. I have called to just say that something might not be right and this can give them a little push if they are already suspecting something which they may be.
You've indicated you've heard her yell, 'You're hurting me!' then sounds as if she's being slammed against the floor, then shrieking, as if the little girl is in pain. Even without seeing it, how can that not be abusive? There's certainly something going on in that household that the mother cannot handle.
Firstly, document everything... dates/times/description of noise & a description & date/time/person you spoke with whilst reporting incidents to CPS. Your paper trail will come in useful in some way, even if it's a case of someone finally investigating after 1-yr's time. Are you really going to recall all the times/dates or have proof that you acted, otherwise?
I'm also wondering if you could visit the local police station, tell them the story & ask how to proceed? Show them your building documentation. I have no idea what else to do legally, because I haven't heard neighbors like this before (more drunken adults causing a row), but I'd certainly do something. You don't want it to escalate or deal with the guilt when an ambulance or coroner makes a visit to her home, in the near future. A small child needs protection, if not provided by her parents, then from the ones who hear her distress & can do something about it.
Perhaps naive sounding, but, I was thinking that if the police are aware, have spoken with you & know you're not a nutter, perhaps they'd give you a special officer/# to call should it happen again & someone would be dispatched sooner? Also, maybe by reporting it to them, a case will be opened & someone will be sent to speak with her, as well. At very least, a police report will be another way to trace that someone is reporting possible suspected abuse. I'd report through as many avenues as possible. This is a small one's safety at stake.
Lastly, if you don't have a lawyer friend to speak with (& I'm guessing you don't or you'd have consulted him/her rather than posted here), I don't know which state you're in, but each state offers some sort of free legal aide. In some old-school phone books, they're listed in the Blue Pages in the front of the White Pages under government listings. Surely, that gov't office can be found online. If you tell us the city/state, I'm sure there are some forum members working in legal offices, who can surely provide #'s for you to call for assistance.
It's unfortunate that you're having to live with this, but very fortunate for the little girl, indeed, as you may be the only one brave enough or sans apathy to help her. And, who knows, maybe others called CPS & had no offer of assistance either. At the risk of sound metaphysical, there's a reason you're there... a protector from afar, I believe. I hope you don't drop this & continue to do all you can, which is very commendable, by the way. You may be the girl's only help & there must be mornings in which she's wondering why this is happening to her.
There may be abuse going on, and there may not. Just please, before you do anything, make sure to observe very carefully and be sure there is something going on, think whether you may be interpreting things wrongly or not. Because if you DO get CPS involved, they may end up removing the girl when really there was no real abuse going on - it happens more often than not, CPS likes to cover their own butts. And it would be awful if the girl got removed from her mother and placed into the system when all that's really going on is that she's being a brat in the mornings and her mother yells at her and maybe physically drags her to get ready or something.
I have a three year old and we live in an apartment, and based on what they probably hear from our place, I've been afraid someone will call CPS on us. No, we don't abuse or beat our son. I've raised my voice at him and he's been spanked a few times but mainly it's timeouts and taking toys away - but man, the way he'll scream when I try to take him to his room for timeout is seriously like someone's murdering him, he'll throw himself on the floor when I try to drag him (thump!) and then he'll throw himself and beat against the door and scream bloody murder, I've actually had to not do timeouts precisely because I was afraid of what the neighbours will think. I've gone to take toys away when he was misbehaving, and he'll scream and sob at the top of his lungs "noooooo mommy, noooo no please don't do it, noooo!!!'. You can probably hear him across the block and someone could easily think I'm standing over him with a baseball bat. Sounds are misleading. CPS told you correctly - if you haven't seen evidence, you shouldn't be making accusations. I really hope none of my neighbours act on what they hear. Luckily, there are lots of families in the complex and I've heard plenty of other kids' murderous screams too, so I hope most people here understand that just comes with the territory of having kids. I also noticed it's usually those who don't have kids or maybe have a very quiet well-behaved one at most that tend to get the most horrified about suspected 'abuse'; those with kids have usually heard it all themselves and tend to be a lot more non-plussed. Again, that's not to say there couldn't be actual abuse going on with your neighbour - but all I'm saying is please be careful; you don't want to break a family and ruin a child's life because of misinterpretation. Just my two cents.
Simple solution: Tape record the insanity. Go to her school, let the counselor listen to it. They will absolutely call the girl down and talk to her. If there is any inkling that she is being abused, the school HAS TO call CPS and CPS HAS TO investigate.
I also agree with this solution.
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