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I spend lots of time with family, friends and neighbors in conversation. It passes the time, but is mostly unrewarding. 99% of it is small talk, chit chat, mindless chatter about the most inane topics. I try to move the conversation to something more interesting but are not successful.
To me, look at the topics on the various boards on City Data Forums. Now those are interesting topics of conversation! They allow you to think and learn and get into people's head.
I know intelligent topical conversation can't happen all the time, there is a time and place for chit chat and small talk, but how about 50/50?
Do you and your friends and family talk in chit chat or interesting topical conversation most of the time?
You're right. It's almost like people are afraid to be genuine today (if they know how). They're afraid to let down their guard (for fear of consequences). People seem so self-protective these days.
Also, maybe some people don't read like they used to. They also don't bother thinking or reading between the lines of what's reported in the media. Some don't do research. Some don't question research if they do it. Therefore, so much for stimulating conversations.
Some people lack patience for conversation. I don't know what they want, what turns them on (other than sex, substance abuse, superficial things).
I spend lots of time with family, friends and neighbors in conversation. It passes the time, but is mostly unrewarding. 99% of it is small talk, chit chat, mindless chatter about the most inane topics. I try to move the conversation to something more interesting but are not successful.
To me, look at the topics on the various boards on City Data Forums. Now those are interesting topics of conversation! They allow you to think and learn and get into people's head.
I know intelligent topical conversation can't happen all the time, there is a time and place for chit chat and small talk, but how about 50/50?
Do you and your friends and family talk in chit chat or interesting topical conversation most of the time?
Perhaps your idea of interesting is not theirs. A lot of people just want to chat without the requirement to "learn something or think". Some people just don't want you in their head either.
If it is that annoying and boring to you perhaps you should find more interesting and engaging friends and family.
We talk about our growth...what we realized today, what was hard for us,how we overcame, some big emotional or spiritual breakthough or astonishing realization.
...how our pets and stuff are today if there was an issue.
Sometimes we talk about little funny life stories...but it's usually not chit chat...we care
about each other's day deeply.
A lot of flood stories (in CO), my dearest friend had a cabin rental robbed today
Fully furnished, VRBO...vacation rental.
But all of us talk mostly about..."How did you feel or handle that?"
My chit chat friends I see once a month maybe...and it can be fun.
99% of it is small talk, chit chat, mindless chatter about the most inane topics.
the topics on the various boards on City Data Forums. Now those are interesting topics of conversation! They allow you to think and learn and get into people's head.
Completely agree. That's why I'd rather be on CD than talking about BS with the neighbors. There's low risk on CD. If I said what I really think to my neighbors, I'd stand out and they might hate me. Or they might like me. But, I'm not taking chances.
We chitchat bc it is a way of becoming and staying intimate...sharing the small details of the day, the adventures, the successes, the small annoyances, etc.
From many of those conversations spring intellectual, political, philosophical debates...and many are just the warm, cozy fluff of inane details.
Yes, family members usually talk about daily things. I usually have nothing to say in regards to those topics. So when I speak, I usually start to say things from what I was learning and thinking. Almost compulsively I think.
My impression (although I can't tell for sure) is that it's boring for them and they see me as someone "different".
I find boring chit chat is best if you're stuck in a conversation for two reasons:
1. It won't turn into a pissing contest.
2. It remains civil, no one goes home mad.
Deep thought-provoking conversations are overrated, they only work when the person you are having them with agrees with 80% of your view points. 90% of the time it leads to a political argument, which no one can win.
I made these figures up, this is my opinion, and my experience.
Do you and your friends and family talk in chit chat or interesting topical conversation most of the time?
Did you ever stop to think that your idea of interesting topical conversation is chit chat to others?
No? I thought not.
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