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I do feel I have a lot to offer with my personality and professional background. The only way a pretty woman will know is if I strike a conversation with her.
LOL!
So you are bringing "personality' and "professional background" (is that code for money?) and she brings "pretty"?
Let this "pretty" woman tell you, that if you are looking for looks first (and clearly you are) many of us are not interested in YOU even if you have "personality" and money. We as a group, are interested in men who want more than just window dressing. You are expecting an good looking women to pick you based on non-physical traits while you are doing the opposite. Holy hypocrisy.
I cannot wait for the day it is perfectly acceptable for a woman with a great personality, wads of cash, and a solid 4 in the looks department can expect those traits will score her a hottie.
Dear Angus, I really hope you are a twenty-something, for your sake.
Who cares what my needs are? Ultimately only myself and I need to be proactive in the hunt. Kinda idiotic to command women to smile or lose weight. It really comes across as a control freak.
Instead, I try to strike a conversation and try to get to the point that we are bantering, topics ranging from travelling to music to working out. Women have those needs too; it is not a one-way street. And I do not expect women to make the first move. I will take on the risk upfront of potential rejection.
I do feel I have a lot to offer with my personality and professional background. The only way a pretty woman will know is if I strike a conversation with her.
I don't think anyone is saying that you can't or shouldn't try to strike up a conversation with someone you'd like to get to know. But there are good ways to go about it, and then there are a lot of the ways we've discussed in this thread. I would suggest starting by making eye contact and smiling. If you get a genuine smile in return, proceed with pleasant, friendly small talk. If you don't get a genuine smile in return for yours, it probably isn't going to be worth your effort.
I agree that being complimented on one's smile is a positive thing. But being asked to smile by a stranger is totally condescending.
Yes, those are two very different situations. If I am smiling and someone tells me I have a nice smile, that is a compliment, and my response would be thank you. Some strange man telling me to smile is not a compliment. He's telling me I should change my expression, as my current one is not acceptable to him, and that's never appropriate from a stranger.
If there are men who think this is a great pick up line, think again. A simple "hello," or smiling yourself is a much better way to express interest in talking with someone.
Yes, those are two very different situations. If I am smiling and someone tells me I have a nice smile, that is a compliment, and my response would be thank you. Some strange man telling me to smile is not a compliment. He's telling me I should change my expression, as my current one is not acceptable to him, and that's never appropriate from a stranger.
If there are men who think this is a great pick up line, think again. A simple "hello," or smiling yourself is a much better way to express interest in talking with someone.
not so long ago, i had a woman tell me i have a boyish smile,,, and should smile more
that made my day!! how does anyone get offended by someone asking them to smile??
or is the "telling" getting interpreted as a demand?? when it is more of a request...
if women told guys,,they should smile more - would we get offended?? ummm no!
this thread is comical..
say we were going in a place and i held the door for you, you smiled and said thank you,,,,and i say "nice smile"
would that be offensive?
not so long ago, i had a woman tell me i have a boyish smile,,, and should smile more
that made my day!! how does anyone get offended by someone asking them to smile??
or is the "telling" getting interpreted as a demand?? when it is more of a request...
if women told guys,,they should smile more - would we get offended?? ummm no!
this thread is comical.. say we were going in a place and i held the door for you, you smiled and said thank you,,,,and i say "nice smile"
would that be offensive?
No, that's not offensive. If a woman smiles at you and you say in return, "nice smile," that's either friendly interaction or flirtation.
It's when a woman isn't smiling, but just going about her business and you say, "where's your smile?" or something similar that it's intrusive. Smiles indicate that a person is happy, relaxed, interested or all of the above. Someone who isn't smiling shouldn't be cajoled or goaded into a smile by a stranger. Even if it's meant pleasantly it comes across as overstepping a boundary.
if women told guys,,they should smile more - would we get offended?? ummm no!
You can't universally say that, though. If a guy was having a crappy day and just wanted to get home, and some random woman at the bus stop pulled the "Smile, sweetie" business, he might just as likely want to slap her as he would to obey her order.
not so long ago, i had a woman tell me i have a boyish smile,,, and should smile more
that made my day!! how does anyone get offended by someone asking them to smile??
or is the "telling" getting interpreted as a demand?? when it is more of a request...
if women told guys,,they should smile more - would we get offended?? ummm no!
this thread is comical..
say we were going in a place and i held the door for you, you smiled and said thank you,,,,and i say "nice smile"
would that be offensive?
Saying "smile" is a command, or if you desire read more into it, it's "you should smile", and both are telling someone what to do. I honestly don't understand how some men can't tell the difference between a compliment on a woman's smile, versus telling a woman, who isn't smiling, that she should.
The consensus seems to be that men enjoy being asked to smile by random strangers and happily obey the command. And women do not. So this is just a difference between the sexes then. Women feel that this is just another imposition on their freedom to exist, while men never really feel that imposition in their lives (at least not based on their gender). I get this, objectively.
So personally, I think it is weird and creepy for anyone on the street to ask or tell anyone else to smile. Mostly because in my experience, when I didn't smile obediently in return, the person (man) proceeded to harass me, call me a "btch", start cursing like a maniac, and/or glance back at me obsessively as I/he walked away. Yes. If these are the kind of dudes demanding smiles from the female half of the world, hopefully we don't have to worry about them possibly pairing up with their victims. Not willingly anyway. Maybe the only worry should be for our own immediate personal safety. Pepper spray, girls!
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