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Old 09-24-2013, 11:04 AM
 
1,035 posts, read 1,655,549 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
I guess I do see this with my beer stein half-full. Here's the compliments I take from this:

*Your hair must be gorgeous, would look good up in cascading curls
*Your neck must be long and elongated, giving you a graceful appearance when the nape of your neck is exposed
* You must have good checkbones and people want to see more of your face.

LOL
That second one made me picture myself as a giraffe in a dress lol
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Old 09-24-2013, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Canada
9,076 posts, read 8,349,706 times
Reputation: 19437
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatCrazyRedhead View Post
^^^This, for sure. The important part of communication is what is understood, not what was intended.
Yep! That goes for all communications, it's not what you intended but how your comment was interpreted.

A compliment is "I like your smile". I hear only one word, "smile", and it's telling me what to do. The guy telling me to smile might have meant any number of things by it, but it's not my job to guess (or even care) what he meant by it.
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Old 09-24-2013, 01:19 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
702 posts, read 610,651 times
Reputation: 932
I didn't know this was a thing. Men walk around telling random women to smile? What the hell?
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Old 09-24-2013, 03:16 PM
 
15,554 posts, read 13,541,264 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EntropyGuardian View Post
I didn't know this was a thing. Men walk around telling random women to smile? What the hell?
Oh yes, I do not know if it is regional, cultural, personality, cities only, rual, etc; but it happens a bit too much in my opinion.

I think any guy that does it is a bit off in the head, and the obvious reason for it is in hopes of some social interaction that may lead to sexual action. The guy that does it is such a social screw up, he does not know any better. Really, a guy has no reason to ever to talk to a woman unless in a specific social scene, and walking to the store or waiitng in line is not a social scene.

My wife has recorded a few encounters with guys (either at the grocery store, or on our little metro mover here in Miami), they will just start blabbing the dumbest things, including the "is something wrong?" "where are you from, here?" "hi, how are you?" and yes "why are you not smiling?"
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Old 09-24-2013, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
460 posts, read 837,058 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatCrazyRedhead View Post
Aah, so it's all about you. Makes perfect sense now, actually.

I want to impart some wisdom to any men in the audience. Women aren't waiting around to be told whether or not you find us attractive or to be flirted with 24/7. We have things to do and lives to live and sometimes we just want to buy some blasted groceries without some guy trying to get our phone number. If you see a woman who is just going about her life and maybe looks a little frazzled, she's not going to respond favorably to lame pick-ups. Don't be shocked, hurt, or upset, just leave her alone. Especially if she wasn't paying any attention to you to begin with.
Of course I will not flirt with a woman who looks a little frazzled. I will flirt with the ones who look happy and approachable.

With a full time job, I really do not have much free time to go out and meet women. I gotta create. And those sexual "needs" do not stop. Please try to understand rather than judge.

"May I help you carry your blasted groceries?"
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Old 09-24-2013, 03:58 PM
 
16,598 posts, read 14,081,890 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Yes, of course I am sensitive enough to realize that comments made from strangers are normally unwelcome.

And if you've read my comments you may have noticed I always go off on those that criticize the overweight because I myself am overweight. Always have been, although I have a "great personality and am very approachable", even fatties like to be told something positive.

Maybe that's why I took issue with this, because it seems like a positive compliment to me. I guess because every morning I have to show my ID at the gate and in one of the entry points, the same gentleman always comments about my smile.

Sorry if I rubbed some of you the wrong way. After all, we are strangers, and that would also be inappropriate. LOL

Peace out
Well if you are okay with a stranger telling you to smile more, you should be equally comfortable with them telling you to eat less. Both of them tell you that you are unacceptable the way you are right now.
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Old 09-24-2013, 03:59 PM
 
16,598 posts, read 14,081,890 times
Reputation: 20563
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
I guess I do see this with my beer stein half-full. Here's the compliments I take from this:

*Your hair must be gorgeous, would look good up in cascading curls
*Your neck must be long and elongated, giving you a graceful appearance when the nape of your neck is exposed
* You must have good checkbones and people want to see more of your face.

LOL
Can we add: you would look really pretty if you lost weight?

There is no difference.
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Old 09-24-2013, 04:05 PM
 
16,598 posts, read 14,081,890 times
Reputation: 20563
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngusHsu View Post
Of course I will not flirt with a woman who looks a little frazzled. I will flirt with the ones who look happy and approachable.

With a full time job, I really do not have much free time to go out and meet women. I gotta create. And those sexual "needs" do not stop. Please try to understand rather than judge.

"May I help you carry your blasted groceries?"
Are you this out of touch with reality?

Who cares what your needs are? I and the majority of women going about their day to day lives, say getting groceries, hoping to service your needs. If you want that, go to a bar, but otherwise, be prepared that when you attempt to "flirt" by making a demand, many of us will think you are an asshat.

Maybe you should learn how to actually flirt. This does not typically include making demands of strangers. Instead try asking a question, discuss the weather, a variety of things that do not include making commands. It won't end well for you except for a small subset of women. OTOH, maybe that is your type.
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Old 09-24-2013, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles
460 posts, read 837,058 times
Reputation: 298
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Are you this out of touch with reality?

Who cares what your needs are? I and the majority of women going about their day to day lives, say getting groceries, hoping to service your needs. If you want that, go to a bar, but otherwise, be prepared that when you attempt to "flirt" by making a demand, many of us will think you are an asshat.

Maybe you should learn how to actually flirt. This does not typically include making demands of strangers. Instead try asking a question, discuss the weather, a variety of things that do not include making commands. It won't end well for you except for a small subset of women. OTOH, maybe that is your type.
Who cares what my needs are? Ultimately only myself and I need to be proactive in the hunt. Kinda idiotic to command women to smile or lose weight. It really comes across as a control freak.

Instead, I try to strike a conversation and try to get to the point that we are bantering, topics ranging from travelling to music to working out. Women have those needs too; it is not a one-way street. And I do not expect women to make the first move. I will take on the risk upfront of potential rejection.

I do feel I have a lot to offer with my personality and professional background. The only way a pretty woman will know is if I strike a conversation with her.
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Old 09-24-2013, 04:59 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,344,644 times
Reputation: 42508
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngusHsu View Post
Of course I will not flirt with a woman who looks a little frazzled. I will flirt with the ones who look happy and approachable.
I have one of those serious faces. I consciously change my expression if I want to look friendly and approachable, which I typically do. It's not an outright smile, just an adjustment from neutral to pleasant. When I am dealing with the public I usually put that face on. I can adjust it the other way to look unfriendly and unapproachable, which also has its uses. I may be busy, tired, or simply not interested in flirting. It's my "do not disturb" sign. People who knock on doors that say "do not disturb" or "no solicitors" get what they deserve. They were warned!
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