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Old 09-20-2013, 12:34 PM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,462,523 times
Reputation: 28900

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kawaiivictim View Post
That's completely unrealistic.

You can't smile all the time! What if there's nothing to smile about?

"You should smile more!"




Where do they get off with that?
It's the patriarchy at work. Didn't you get the memo? Women were put on this earth to be eye candy for men, and our bodies and faces are public property for them to comment on. We're not allowed to have moods or feelings that make them uncomfortable.

FWIW, whenever someone says something like that to me, I fire back with one of several responses:

1. I just lost my job, so mind your own business.

2. I just heard that [insert name of imaginary relative] is in the hospital/just died, so mind your own business.

3. I've just been diagnosed with a rare, untreatable, fatal case of clavicular mordorcitis, so mind your own business. (There's no such thing, but he doesn't have to know that.)

4. I just came from bankruptcy court, so mind your own business.

5. No.

6. I AM smiling.

7. Omigawd, I'm gonna...I'm gonna... oh, no, I'm gonna THROW UP!

And my all-time favorite:

8. Omigawd, it's you! I've been looking all over for you! What, don't you remember me? How could you possibly forget that night? Well, I hope you remember soon, because YOUR SON looks just like you!
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:37 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,565 posts, read 33,287,625 times
Reputation: 32116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
It's the patriarchy at work. Didn't you get the memo? Women were put on this earth to be eye candy for men, and our bodies and faces are public property for them to comment on. We're not allowed to have moods or feelings that make them uncomfortable.

FWIW, whenever someone says something like that to me, I fire back with one of several responses:

1. I just lost my job, so mind your own business.

2. I just heard that [insert name of imaginary relative] is in the hospital/just died, so mind your own business.

3. I've just been diagnosed with a rare, untreatable, fatal case of clavicular mordorcitis, so mind your own business. (There's no such thing, but he doesn't have to know that.)

4. I just came from bankruptcy court, so mind your own business.

5. No.

6. I AM smiling.

7. Omigawd, I'm gonna...I'm gonna... oh, no, I'm gonna THROW UP!

And my all-time favorite:

8. Omigawd, it's you! I've been looking all over for you! What, don't you remember me? How could you possibly forget that night? Well, I hope you remember soon, because YOUR SON looks just like you!
Longer explanations that I'd give. Anyone who wants me to smile when I don't feel it would only get 2 words: you.
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:40 PM
 
12,544 posts, read 12,462,523 times
Reputation: 28900
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Longer explanations that I'd give. Anyone who wants me to smile when I don't feel it would only get 2 words: you.
I admit, I'm a little sadistic. Just a bit. I like to watch 'em squirm.
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:45 PM
 
Location: Mesa, AZ
451 posts, read 624,795 times
Reputation: 1164
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
I admit, I'm a little sadistic. Just a bit. I like to watch 'em squirm.
And creativity is good exercise for the brain, after all. Plus, a response like 1-4 might, just might make them think twice before the next time they decide to demand emotion from a stranger. Although I'm probably asking for too much with that one.
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:47 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,324,540 times
Reputation: 1316
Quote:
Why do they have to say anything at all?

Tatyana Fazlalizadeh
LOVE this! Thank you for sharing. I especially enjoyed the sentence that it's NOT ok for men to grab and pull women towards them to have our attention. This has happened more times than I can count. Number 1 reason I bought a taser for when I go out now.
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Old 09-20-2013, 12:59 PM
 
4,709 posts, read 3,492,296 times
Reputation: 4416
Don't worry, ladies, I'll never ask you to smile.

I prefer that "Amy Lee" look over the "Kathy Lee (Gifford)" look any day of the week.

Last edited by ntwrkguy1; 09-20-2013 at 01:09 PM..
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Old 09-20-2013, 01:04 PM
 
5,321 posts, read 5,266,988 times
Reputation: 12475
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatCrazyRedhead View Post
I want to impart some wisdom to any men in the audience. Women aren't waiting around to be told whether or not you find us attractive or to be flirted with 24/7. We have things to do and lives to live and sometimes we just want to buy some blasted groceries without some guy trying to get our phone number. If you see a woman who is just going about her life and maybe looks a little frazzled, she's not going to respond favorably to lame pick-ups. Don't be shocked, hurt, or upset, just leave her alone. Especially if she wasn't paying any attention to you to begin with.
Somebody please tell me most women do not have this same "leave me alone" attitude. I personally don't find it to be the case but maybe I'm wrong.

It must be such a hard life for you Crazy Redhead. Just going about your day and bam! Some idiot who wants to pay you a compliment or two gets in your (much too awesome) way. I get it, it's like hey you pervert I'm just trying to buy groceries, stop admiring me! I don't want your attention. I have an idea, why don't we all chip in and start a paparazzi fund for you? I won't say which gender of canine your attitude wreaks of but it ain't male. Relax a little would ya...smile more, we're just having fun, you may want to try it. If your attitude gets in the way, try alcohol.

I want to impart some wisdom to any women in the audience. Many of us are actually OK guys who find you attractive or interesting or whatever, and thought it may be nice to talk to you. Takes a bit of confidence and courage sometimes. It's a compliment that we would think makes you feel nice, even if you think we are ugly or idiots or smell bad. I am pretty certain that most of you would respond favorably but these types of posts really make it look not so good.
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Old 09-20-2013, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Mesa, AZ
451 posts, read 624,795 times
Reputation: 1164
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
Somebody please tell me most women do not have this same "leave me alone" attitude. I personally don't find it to be the case but maybe I'm wrong.
Anyone...? Anyone...? Bueller...?

Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
It must be such a hard life for you Crazy Redhead. Just going about your day and bam! Some idiot who wants to pay you a compliment or two gets in your (much too awesome) way. I get it, it's like hey you pervert I'm just trying to buy groceries, stop admiring me! I don't want your attention. I have an idea, why don't we all chip in and start a paparazzi fund for you? I won't say which gender of canine your attitude wreaks of but it ain't male. Relax a little would ya...smile more, we're just having fun, you may want to try it.
You might be having fun, but we aren't. Being harrassed by strange men just because we happen to have a vagina isn't what most women would call fun. Also, the mere fact that trying to communicate that to you in a very nice manner makes you call me a b!*&# only serves to demonstrate the point being made here by some of the other posters. If a woman disagrees with a man, she's automatically a b!*&#. Well, ya know what, G-fused? I don't really care what you think of me. That's the freakin' point.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
I want to impart some wisdom to any women in the audience. Many of us are actually OK guys who find you attractive or interesting or whatever, and thought it may be nice to talk to you. Takes a bit of confidence and courage sometimes. It's a compliment that we would think makes you feel nice, even if you think we are ugly or idiots or smell bad.
We don't care.

Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
I am pretty certain that most of you would respond favorably but these types of posts really make it look not so good.
Even when told point blank, over and over, exactly the opposite. Yet another reason why women get so annoyed with this attitude is that you just refuse to even try to understand what we are saying and accept that we're not interested in you and don't give a flying blue fornication what you think.
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Old 09-20-2013, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Southeastern North Carolina
1,790 posts, read 3,265,494 times
Reputation: 3156
I used to get that "Smile" crap from men a lot when I was younger. You know what my response was? "I was smiling until I had a look at you".
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Old 09-20-2013, 01:55 PM
 
5,321 posts, read 5,266,988 times
Reputation: 12475
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
See, there it is. If a woman isn't grateful for the attention that she never asked for, she's a bytch. Or perhaps, rather than feeling entitled to attention, you could listen to the majority of women who are saying that they hate being told to smile and adjust your behavior accordingly.
You are missing what's going on. I love women, I really do. I think your gender is completely fabuloso.

I don't expect women to be grateful, but I definitely don't expect them to be bothered either. It's a nice thing to give a compliment so I'm surprised to hear that some people don't receive it nicely. Why do you feel bothered when someone pays you a compliment? I don't get it. They're not insulting you. Are you too good for them? Becuase that's the message you're sending.

And how does one determine if a woman is asking for attention so he knows it's OK to be nice? Is there some sort of sign I'm unaware of?

I don't feel entitled to attention in the least bit, not the inciest bit. I do think that someone who has a heartbeat and regular feelings would feel good to be complimented - even if it wasn't asked for. Maybe its just that some women are uncomfortable with it and aren't able to respond so their minds blow up and they start thinking weird irrational thoughts such as "this is so bothersome that someone is flirting with me". That may be it, they may just be socially inept and are puzzled about how to respond and that makes them uncomortable so they don't want it.

Lastly, your statement about this "don't bother me" attitude being applicable to the majority of women? Paleeez. It's applicable to the weirdos who chose to comment on this thread in the affirmative. Hardly a representative sample of the majority.

Last edited by G-fused; 09-20-2013 at 01:56 PM.. Reason: some mispellings
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