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Old 09-20-2013, 02:05 PM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,330,992 times
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Quote:
It's a nice thing to give a compliment so I'm surprised to hear that some people don't receive it nicely. Why do you feel bothered when someone pays you a compliment? I don't get it. They're not insulting you. Are you too good for them? Becuase that's the message you're sending.
For the most part I'm a happy person, but I have those moments where I'm just being. I don't interpret "heeeeey now, smile!" as compliment, but rather an annoying demand. If you want to flirt, flirt by complimenting a lady on something you find attractive (hopefully not her breasts), not demanding a behavior from her.

Quote:
See, there it is. If a woman isn't grateful for the attention that she never asked for, she's a bytch. Or perhaps, rather than feeling entitled to attention, you could listen to the majority of women who are saying that they hate being told to smile and adjust your behavior accordingly.
I agree with you!
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Old 09-20-2013, 02:27 PM
 
6,791 posts, read 7,112,763 times
Reputation: 6970
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThatCrazyRedhead View Post

You might be having fun, but we aren't. Being harrassed by strange men just because we happen to have a vagina isn't what most women would call fun. Also, the mere fact that trying to communicate that to you in a very nice manner makes you call me a b!*&# only serves to demonstrate the point being made here by some of the other posters. If a woman disagrees with a man, she's automatically a b!*&#. Well, ya know what, G-fused? I don't really care what you think of me. That's the freakin' point.

Even when told point blank, over and over, exactly the opposite. Yet another reason why women get so annoyed with this attitude is that you just refuse to even try to understand what we are saying and accept that we're not interested in you and don't give a flying blue fornication what you think.
Exactly, I've never met a woman in my life who likes being told to smile by random strangers. I F'ing hate it, it's happened to me so many times. I can tell the guy thinks he's being nice so I'm not nasty, but I do not smile on command for strange men, so they get a blank look, or a simple "no" and I move on.

Men, fathers, uncles, whatever, please tell all the young men/teen boys you know to respect women's right to personal space when she is out on the world. Do not tell her to do anything, do not say something you would not say to a strange man. No one I know would ever call me a *****, not appreciating being told to smile by some strange man does not make me a *****. It makes me a human being who enjoys not being harassed while living my life. If a woman wants your attention she will let you know, going up to random women and telling them to do something just because you want to see it is rude and presumptuous.
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Old 09-20-2013, 02:31 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
40,224 posts, read 15,190,462 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ragazza2011 View Post
For the most part I'm a happy person, but I have those moments where I'm just being. I don't interpret "heeeeey now, smile!" as compliment, but rather an annoying demand. If you want to flirt, flirt by complimenting a lady on something you find attractive (hopefully not her breasts), not demanding a behavior from her.
Same here. I'm happy probably 90% to 95% of the time. However, if I'm walking along, lost in thought and don't happen to be smiling, I resent a stranger telling me to smile. I think it's only happened to me twice in my life, but I didn't like it either time. It comes across as a criticism rather than a compliment.

I remember the first time someone said that to me. For my job, I traveled to a local hospital to pick up some x-rays that were exhibits in a court case. I was walking through the hospital hallway with the x-rays in hand and apparently was lost in thought. A passing male doctor stopped and told me to smile. I thought that was extremely insensitive. He had no way of knowing whether I'd just visited a dying loved one or just received a devastating diagnosis myself or was simply there doing my job. Yet he felt prompted to tell me to smile.

.
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Last edited by PJSaturn; 09-20-2013 at 03:04 PM..
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Old 09-20-2013, 02:42 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,067 posts, read 12,846,428 times
Reputation: 31390
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellise View Post
I used to get that "Smile" crap from men a lot when I was younger. You know what my response was? "I was smiling until I had a look at you".
Hmm, I find that pretty krass to tell somebody who just wants to make a nice comment.

I get to hear that smile thingy alot and it automatically makes me smile and then usually a compliment follows. No harm done and we can never smile enough. It is serious enough in life, we should all smile more.
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:01 PM
 
Location: Illinois
4,754 posts, read 4,328,295 times
Reputation: 12914
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
You are missing what's going on.

I don't expect women to be grateful, but I definitely don't expect them to be bothered either. It's a nice thing to give a compliment so I'm surprised to hear that some people don't receive it nicely. Why do you feel bothered when someone pays you a compliment? I don't get it. They're not insulting you. Are you too good for them? Becuase that's the message you're sending.

You are missing what's going on. "Smile!" or "You should smile more!" is not a compliment. It's an order. Perhaps you like the idea of randomly ordering women you don't know to do something. However, that doesn't mean we have to like it or respond positively.
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Bay Area, Calif.
2,435 posts, read 2,845,796 times
Reputation: 2581
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
...We're flirting, saying you are pretty. We think that when a pretty woman smiles it's nice, makes us feel good. We want women be happy, and smiling exhibits happiness. But don't mind me. Go ahead and be off put by men who are clearly trying to tell you they are attracted to you. It must be very burdensome to be you. You're exactly the type of woman I want to avoid, all jaded and crooked..." "
I do agree... And think it is very sad what is happening with today's generation of women. Oh yes, I know about the creepy crawlers leering and slobbering on the streets. But sexist profiling against all men is just as bad. Smiling is not stupid or a sin. It means that you feel good inside, not just about yourself but also about how much you actually appreciate being alive to have people appreciate your God-given beauty! So how about getting over the ego because physical beauty really isn't permanent. Someday, everyone will stop noticing. So now's the time to work on something in your heart and mind to develop an interesting personality or there really wont be any thing left to about.
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Mesa, AZ
451 posts, read 628,252 times
Reputation: 1164
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
Hmm, I find that pretty krass to tell somebody who just wants to make a nice comment.
I find it pretty crass to tell someone who isn't smiling to smile, unless you're a photographer trying to take a portrait. Maybe they just had to have a beloved pet put to sleep. Maybe they just lost their job. Maybe they just lost a family member. Maybe they're just having a crappy day, or are deep in thought. Ordering someone else to express an emotion they don't feel isn't a "nice comment." How would you feel if some random stranger walked up to you and demanded that you cry?

It's especially offensive when accompanied by the suggestion that smiling will make you "look prettier." My function on this earth is not to look pretty. I have better things to do than try to make myself more attractive to strange men.
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:14 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
16,067 posts, read 12,846,428 times
Reputation: 31390
Hmmm.

I hope your general outlook of life is a bit more positive.
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:15 PM
 
6,791 posts, read 7,112,763 times
Reputation: 6970
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Opinionated View Post
I do agree... And think it is very sad what is happening with today's generation of women. Oh yes, I know about the creepy crawlers leering and slobbering on the streets. But sexist profiling against all men is just as bad. Smiling is not stupid or a sin. It means that you feel good inside, not just about yourself but also about how much you actually appreciate being alive to have people appreciate your God-given beauty! So how about getting over the ego because physical beauty really isn't permanent. Someday, everyone will stop noticing. So now's the time to work on something in your heart and mind to develop an interesting personality or there really wont be any thing left to about.
That has nothing to do with random men TELLING women to smile. If a woman smiles at you, feel free to compliment her, and smile back. Women do not appreciate some random man she has never met TELLING her to smile. Why is that so hard to comprehend! It has nothing to do with any generation. It's always been hated and always will be. When a woman is out minding her own business she does not need a man to tell her how she should be acting, or what she should be doing.

Men, do men think it's okay if some random strange man tells you to smile? Do you smile for him since he was so nice to ask you to do that for him?
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Old 09-20-2013, 03:20 PM
 
2,970 posts, read 2,751,817 times
Reputation: 6564
Quote:
Originally Posted by kawaiivictim View Post
That's completely unrealistic.

You can't smile all the time! What if there's nothing to smile about?

"You should smile more!"




Where do they get off with that?

Sounds like you have a skewed representation from which you are basing this thought on. Some women look better when 'not' smiling / serious / thoughtful repose, sultry etc...

While a smile is nice - and eliciting one from a woman is a joy, I do concur that a stranger telling someone else to 'smile' or brighten up, etc... is annoying, as how would a stranger have any context to why someone might be glum, sulking or moody or just seriously thinking about something?

I think I've only said that a few times and it was always to someone I knew well enough to gauge a sense of, say, being down in dumps when they usually show a happier countenance and they were invariably young(er) as in non adult age. It seems a condescending thing to say to an adult.

I 'm guessing you are young and perhaps give off a vibe of sulk? Is it generally older men who say this to you?

On the other hand some people (in general) with poor dental (or no dental work) would be better off NOT smiling. I knew one women some years ago, very attractive (non smiling and all the way around) who, whenever she smiled, just gave me a bad vibe when I saw her fang like upper canines and spaced incisors as it always changed the whole composition / complexion of her face to reflect a 'predatory' type countenance. It was disconcerting to see the way a bad smile / teeth could transform ones perception.

As a side note, in many cultures smiling for no apparent reason is perceived often as if the person is mentally deficient or 'slow' in some way. So one would need the context of your examples to better determine what drives what you perceive to be constant annoying requests to 'smile'. Ha!


Bobby McFerrin - Don't Worry Be Happy - YouTube
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