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Old 09-21-2013, 08:22 PM
 
Location: CA
3,469 posts, read 7,148,073 times
Reputation: 4789

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Quote:
Originally Posted by katie45 View Post
If a woman is giving a speech, or making a report in person, or on television (any place where others are seeing/hearing her), and she doesn't smile, she will most likely be viewed/perceived as:

cold
emotionless
distant
moody
non-caring, etc.


However, if a man is in the same situation(s) and doesn't smile, he is perceived as:

A thinker
Serious and needs to be listened to
Intelligent, etc.


Point being, there is still that dividing line in society.

Same holds true during a business meeting; if a woman speaks her mind, or has a different viewpoint, she is perceived as too emotional and too vocal. Let a man do the same, and he is viewed as dynamic and ambitious.
Sad but true.

--------

And guys, if you find a woman who has a "b*tchy resting face" otherwise attractive & you want to flirt, don't tell her how to change. Let her know somehow that you like her as-is, then see her smile naturally. If someone tells me to smile, then I feel criticized; but if they give me a reason to smile, then I'm inclined to genuinely like them.

A better comment to me is "you must be thinking very deeply about something!" or something like that. It's someone showing some perceptiveness instead of projecting negativity onto me or bossing me around when I don't even know them.
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Old 09-21-2013, 09:37 PM
 
977 posts, read 1,554,239 times
Reputation: 1906
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Postman View Post
Wow, so sensitive...no wonder you probably don't smile a lot. I think people in general, men and women, need to smile more, but maybe it shows they're pretty unhappy in general. Or rather, just chill out and don't take things so damn seriously.

Geez, everyone here defending their right to frown and look like grumpy cat as if someone is forcing them to smile...
Or maybe they're thinking about important things. Besides, who the hell walks around with a goofy smile like an idiot? The only time I see people smile is if they're with another person.

Men telling women to smile would be like women telling men to walk taller with chest puffed out. It's rude.
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Old 09-21-2013, 10:27 PM
 
2,561 posts, read 2,224,041 times
Reputation: 1476
The deal is probably because most guys think gals solely/mainly exist for decoration and feel entitled to order a random gal to do something to make him feel better and have her look better to him and if she doesn't or disagrees she's a bytch. It's quite interesting for a gender that seemingly whines about nagging by their partner which is often a partner reminding them to do something they said they would that it seems most guys feel completely comfortable voicing a criticism in the form of an order/demand/command for a random gal to do something and if she doesn't she's insulted.
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Old 09-21-2013, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Staten Island, New York
3,681 posts, read 6,050,927 times
Reputation: 3621
Quote:
Originally Posted by G-fused View Post
You are missing what's going on. I love women, I really do. I think your gender is completely fabuloso.

I don't expect women to be grateful, but I definitely don't expect them to be bothered either. It's a nice thing to give a compliment so I'm surprised to hear that some people don't receive it nicely. Why do you feel bothered when someone pays you a compliment? I don't get it. They're not insulting you. Are you too good for them? Becuase that's the message you're sending.

And how does one determine if a woman is asking for attention so he knows it's OK to be nice? Is there some sort of sign I'm unaware of?

I don't feel entitled to attention in the least bit, not the inciest bit. I do think that someone who has a heartbeat and regular feelings would feel good to be complimented - even if it wasn't asked for. Maybe its just that some women are uncomfortable with it and aren't able to respond so their minds blow up and they start thinking weird irrational thoughts such as "this is so bothersome that someone is flirting with me". That may be it, they may just be socially inept and are puzzled about how to respond and that makes them uncomortable so they don't want it.

Lastly, your statement about this "don't bother me" attitude being applicable to the majority of women? Paleeez. It's applicable to the weirdos who chose to comment on this thread in the affirmative. Hardly a representative sample of the majority.
It's not a compliment and yes, it is insulting.
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Old 09-21-2013, 11:58 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,325,314 times
Reputation: 42508
There are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of articles and blogs from women who unanimously dislike being told by strangers to smile. I read several of them today. What's so curious is that NOT ONCE did I see one man say, "Wow, I never thought of that. I didn't realize and I will stop doing it." Not once. Instead, you have men who already recognize how rude it is and those who keep repeating, "Lighten up, you *****. Why so serious?" It's like their heads are made of cast iron.

I asked my husband tonight if he had ever told a woman to smile. He doesn't seem like the type but I was interested. He stared at me*and then said, "No, why would I?" He had no idea guys even said that. God I love that man.
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Old 09-22-2013, 12:40 AM
 
Location: Myrtle Creek, Oregon
12,233 posts, read 12,495,497 times
Reputation: 19379
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl View Post
This thread is turning out to be a great way to identify misogynists among us.
And the misandrists among us. Not a word complaining about women who say the same thing, and they do all the time. It's obviously always the man's fault for some women. Men learn to just shrug it off and get on with life.
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Old 09-22-2013, 01:40 AM
 
11,263 posts, read 8,424,427 times
Reputation: 20433
A smile costs nothing. Yet it increases your face value.

So just smile when you look at HIM!
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:03 AM
 
Location: locked in a castle
262 posts, read 438,930 times
Reputation: 382
Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterseat View Post
A smile costs nothing. Yet it increases your face value.

So just smile when you look at HIM!

My smiles are only for people who are worthy.

I don't just smile for anyone. Seriously...

I'm a selective smiler.

If I'm not smiling, it's probably him... or her.
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:08 AM
 
Location: locked in a castle
262 posts, read 438,930 times
Reputation: 382
No, but seriously.

If someone just tells me to smile, the smile won't be genuine. My lips will be smiling, but eyes will look worried. It'll be bad, m'kay?

My smiles need to come naturally, meaning there needs to be a reason for me to smile.

People who smile for no reason at all end up looking medicated.

Besides, I thought guys hated it when girls "faked it". Wouldn't you rather see a REAL smile, then a fake grin?

------------------------

STORY TIME (yaaaaay):

One time I was in line at a grocery store, while waiting in line I began to day dream. I was so zoned out in my thought I began to smile at what I was thinking about, then I snapped out of it. I noticed some dude grinning ear to ear at me and giving me "bed room eyes"

He must've thought I was smiling at him(I was zoned out completely and just so happened to facing in his direction) when really I was just stuck in my own head.

Was awkward.

FIN
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:23 AM
 
10,322 posts, read 9,374,600 times
Reputation: 15915
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple View Post
Sad but true.

--------

And guys, if you find a woman who has a "b*tchy resting face" otherwise attractive & you want to flirt, don't tell her how to change. Let her know somehow that you like her as-is, then see her smile naturally. If someone tells me to smile, then I feel criticized; but if they give me a reason to smile, then I'm inclined to genuinely like them.

A better comment to me is "you must be thinking very deeply about something!" or something like that. It's someone showing some perceptiveness instead of projecting negativity onto me or bossing me around when I don't even know them.
I agree! And why ask or comment in the first place as to whether or a person is smiling?
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