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Old 09-22-2013, 11:54 AM
 
Location: San Antonio, Tx
7,663 posts, read 8,133,722 times
Reputation: 9235

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Maybe this has been said already (too lazy to read the entire post) and if so it bears repeating. A woman's smile is on the top 10 list of "Most Beautiful Things". I would just take it as another compliment and move on.
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Old 09-22-2013, 04:21 PM
 
16,594 posts, read 14,066,182 times
Reputation: 20556
Don't TELL me to smile and I won't tell you to go away.

Telling a woman to smile smacks of the pervasive attitude seen in this country where women are supposed to "keep sweet". Smiles are meant to show someone's happiness, not to make others happy. Why should someone have to fake a smile just because a random stranger says so.

Hey random stranger, take this as a message, you have no business demanding people smile for you. In fact is rude. If you are interested in striking up a conversation, start by NOT telling me to do something. Say hello, how are you, make a legitimate compliment (and telling people what to do is not complimenting) or ask a question. Because the majority of women I know will have no interest in furthering a conversation with a man or woman who thinks it is acceptable on any level to tell people to fake emotions.
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Old 09-22-2013, 04:26 PM
 
16,594 posts, read 14,066,182 times
Reputation: 20556
Quote:
Originally Posted by SabresFanInSA View Post
Maybe this has been said already (too lazy to read the entire post) and if so it bears repeating. A woman's smile is on the top 10 list of "Most Beautiful Things". I would just take it as another compliment and move on.
Again, people who think it is acceptable to demand women smile for them because it is "beautiful" are people most women would think are those who just value women for beauty.

Seriously, many of us who are attractive want to be valued for more than our outsides (smiles included). Being tall, blond, and attractive is just a genetic role of the dice. I am far more interested in people valuing the things I have actually earned. My daughter who is down right beautiful, is even less interested in hearing it than anyone I have ever met. For her, going up to her and telling her she is beautiful is like telling her she is wearing a blue t-shirt. She is much more interested in someone trying to talk to her about something besides her face or her smile.

Besides men whose first comment or demand is about looks, tend to be those who are only interested in looks. Which for many of us, is an immediate turn off.
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Old 09-22-2013, 04:56 PM
 
6,791 posts, read 7,108,713 times
Reputation: 6970
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
There are probably hundreds, if not thousands, of articles and blogs from women who unanimously dislike being told by strangers to smile. I read several of them today. What's so curious is that NOT ONCE did I see one man say, "Wow, I never thought of that. I didn't realize and I will stop doing it." Not once. Instead, you have men who already recognize how rude it is and those who keep repeating, "Lighten up, you *****. Why so serious?" It's like their heads are made of cast iron.

I asked my husband tonight if he had ever told a woman to smile. He doesn't seem like the type but I was interested. He stared at me*and then said, "No, why would I?" He had no idea guys even said that. God I love that man.
This is what gets to me as well. Women have clearly stated a universal dislike for being ordered to smile by a stranger, but instead of accepting that it's something that shouldn't be done, too many men come on here and start arguments about how women should actually like, and be flattered by this behavior instead of listening to what the women are saying.

The answer is so simple, do not tell women you see on the street and have never met to smile. They won't like it, they will find it rude. Do not argue, just LISTEN, and stop doing it!
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:41 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
30,001 posts, read 16,591,924 times
Reputation: 22572
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
It's the patriarchy at work. Didn't you get the memo? Women were put on this earth to be eye candy for men, and our bodies and faces are public property for them to comment on. We're not allowed to have moods or feelings that make them uncomfortable.

FWIW, whenever someone says something like that to me, I fire back with one of several responses:

1. I just lost my job, so mind your own business.

2. I just heard that [insert name of imaginary relative] is in the hospital/just died, so mind your own business.

3. I've just been diagnosed with a rare, untreatable, fatal case of clavicular mordorcitis, so mind your own business. (There's no such thing, but he doesn't have to know that.)

4. I just came from bankruptcy court, so mind your own business.

5. No.

6. I AM smiling.

7. Omigawd, I'm gonna...I'm gonna... oh, no, I'm gonna THROW UP!

And my all-time favorite:

8. Omigawd, it's you! I've been looking all over for you! What, don't you remember me? How could you possibly forget that night? Well, I hope you remember soon, because YOUR SON looks just like you!
These were SO funny! I remember one of my first jobs at a pharmacy was waiting on customer's at the front counter. I cannot TELL you how many times creepy old men demanded that I SMILE. Which, I did when I was ringing them out - but I did not feel compelled to work 24/7 with a f*cking smile plastered on my face.

What is up with that? As IF that's even possible!

So annoying.

Once I got a corporate job - I no longer had these constant requests to grin on command.
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Old 09-22-2013, 05:49 PM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
30,001 posts, read 16,591,924 times
Reputation: 22572
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell View Post
This is an automatic response to BRF Syndrome (Bitchy Resting Face).

'Bitchy resting face' is real (kind of). But there's hope - TODAY.com

Short of plastic surgery, the only way to ameliorate BRF is to smile. People are just trying to be helpful.
That was funny! Helpful suggestions aside.

BRF comes in mighty handy in Corporate America depending on your job - if it's a job where you need to be a badass.

Embrace it ladies.
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Old 09-22-2013, 07:27 PM
 
317 posts, read 484,637 times
Reputation: 404
As long as they put out, who cares if they smile
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Old 09-22-2013, 08:37 PM
 
Location: Prescott Valley,az summer/east valley Az winter
2,042 posts, read 3,626,969 times
Reputation: 7884
When I first saw this thread (without reading it) I thought it other than what it actually is. I've been guilty of telling my wife to smile to break her out of a funk and to my grandkids to get their attention but would never think of going up to a complete stranger and ordering her to smile. And I'm one that has said on this (and other) chat rooms that the sexiest thing a lady could wear is a smile. I guess I would give as advice to a friend that smiling more would be a great thing but I'd never have the nerve to tell a stranger to do so as a first thing.
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Old 09-22-2013, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Central Illinois -
21,531 posts, read 14,350,737 times
Reputation: 14672
I would never tell a woman that, it does sound sexist to me. However, a girl told me last week I should smile more, and I was in a pretty bad mood about work when she told me this. I really appreciated it and now when I see her I always smile (she was not someone I normally spoke to). So I guess the perception of being chauvinistic and belittling to someone can kill ones mood, but when a woman says it to a guy, that same sense of sexism just aint there. At least to me.
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Old 09-23-2013, 12:36 AM
 
Location: California
30,693 posts, read 33,456,199 times
Reputation: 26112
I'm always "on" while at work. Big smile, chatting people up, telling stories and jokes, listening to theirs, etc. I'm sure my Bitchy resting face I have at home would scare the crap out of them. Not to mention my ability to sit in a quiet room (no tv or music) and not speak to anyone for hours. I function well outside but I need more downtime than the average person, and I usually do not smile during that time. Not because I'm unhappy but who smiles all the time while they are alone? Well, maybe when my cat does something cute....

A smile is usually just for other people, not a reflection of anything about you. People who tell you to smile are telling you because it makes THEM feel better.
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