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Old 09-21-2013, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Northeast Ohio
319 posts, read 380,517 times
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I agree with the other posters that being introverted is definitely not a bad thing and that you possess a remarkable degree of awareness and insight about yourself and your situation. I wish I had known what you know at age 23.

Congratulations on your degree!
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Old 09-21-2013, 09:34 PM
 
244 posts, read 611,763 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedivec View Post
I agree with the other posters that being introverted is definitely not a bad thing and that you possess a remarkable degree of awareness and insight about yourself and your situation. I wish I had known what you know at age 23.

Congratulations on your degree!
Same, wonderful answers here it's just finding the right balance!
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Old 09-22-2013, 06:01 AM
 
Location: Ft. Myers
17,632 posts, read 11,028,002 times
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I've known people who were not happy unless they had lots of friends around them all the time, but that is not for me. While I like people and get along well with others, I tend to like to be alone as much as I can. I have a very close relationship with my two Sons and see them every day, and I love that time together, but I do not generally hang out with other people all that much.

That is hard to explain to people sometimes, they think you are being standoffish, but I get enough drama in my job and sometimes it is nice to just relax and have peace and quiet. You also tend to get dragged into other people's lives and issues if you are friends with them, and if you look at most of the problems people have it is brought on by others entering into their world. It is just more simple this way.

Doesn't mean we are strange, it just means we are comfortable in our own skin and like ourselves enough to go through life without others involved.

Don
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Old 09-22-2013, 03:57 PM
 
244 posts, read 611,763 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gil3 View Post
When you do find that balance, good for you.
I hope I can but if not, it wouldn't be a big deal for me. I've told many people over the past couple of weeks that I hardly give people any chances anymore because I feel people were ( and still are) the root of my depression.
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Old 09-22-2013, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Back & Forth
210 posts, read 632,896 times
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I used to be extroverted, but over the last 10 years I've become much more introverted. I'm happier this way.

I'm very comfortable in solitude. It gives me time to reflect. I believe introverted people have more perception to what's really going on. I think we can pick out genuine people much faster. Also, I think having this heightened sense of perception allows me to be more empathetic & and a better friend to others.

I believe in quality friends not quantity of friends.

Congrats on figuring out who you are!
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Old 09-22-2013, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,591 posts, read 13,055,056 times
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I have become more solitary as I got older no doubt. 2 friends I know for 20 plus years and my gf are all I spend time with. I work dealing with hundreds of people from the public per day and gravitate more toward quiet evenings now. I can mingle with the best if them but have really mellowed now. I also think the term "friends " is adjusted to Facebook friends and acquaintances now. Friends are those who share a deeper bond and established history. They are people you can confide in in person aside from a smartphone and have a need to spend time with. A lot of the world feels plastic now. It really does.
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Old 09-22-2013, 07:18 PM
 
Location: Florida
769 posts, read 826,517 times
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I am a introvert. I prefer the company of a good book, a comfy chair and a snuggly puppy over a room full of people who want my attention. I do have extroverts tendancies at times but it wears me out and I have to pull into myself. I live a very solitary life and enjoy it. I do allow people to get close to me but it takes a while. I will go out and socialize but they don't all learn my life story at the end of the day.

Don't change who you are to please other people..it will only make you feel like you are trying to fit into a world that is not yours.
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Old 09-23-2013, 08:12 AM
 
244 posts, read 611,763 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D. Scott View Post
I have become more solitary as I got older no doubt. 2 friends I know for 20 plus years and my gf are all I spend time with. I work dealing with hundreds of people from the public per day and gravitate more toward quiet evenings now. I can mingle with the best if them but have really mellowed now. I also think the term "friends " is adjusted to Facebook friends and acquaintances now. Friends are those who share a deeper bond and established history. They are people you can confide in in person aside from a smartphone and have a need to spend time with. A lot of the world feels plastic now. It really does.


I agree with your post, someone was offended when I stated that "I didn't have any friends" and they felt it was an insult towards them when thought we were close. I'm acquainted with many people, but I feel true friendships take time to develop and are rare. I don't have that just yet.
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Old 09-23-2013, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Canada
196 posts, read 340,171 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redhead360 View Post
I hope I can but if not, it wouldn't be a big deal for me. I've told many people over the past couple of weeks that I hardly give people any chances anymore because I feel people were ( and still are) the root of my depression.
Hey redhead, this post sent up a flag for me, as I am an extrovert who has had difficulty creating or maintain relationships with others. As long as you're confident that you are enjoying your solitude, and are truly an introvert, then power to you.

However, if you are identifying others as being a cause of your depression, and are happy now because you do not have this in your life, it is conceivable that you may become depressed by not having others in your life at some point as well.

I suffer from the hedgehog's dilemma myself. I crave close and intense relationships with people, and I cherish friends who I can connect on multiple levels with. However, if another hedgehog gets close to me, it is likely they will hurt me as well.

So, dealing with the hurt of being alone and isolated feels "better" than the hurt you feel when someone who you have a close relationship with betrays or hurts you. The pain you can control is better then the one you can't.

Look into yourself and see if this applies to you. If it does, then I'd suggest working on relationships now so that you still have them to sustain you later in life. If you become isolated now, and you truly are an extrovert, one day you'll find yourself in your 40's without the long-term, deep relationships you'll need.

Trust me, I'm there. And I get depressed not by others, but by the fact I am so isolated now that I have no-one to really talk to.
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Old 09-23-2013, 07:19 PM
 
244 posts, read 611,763 times
Reputation: 273
Quote:
Originally Posted by ScooterMcTavish View Post
Hey redhead, this post sent up a flag for me, as I am an extrovert who has had difficulty creating or maintain relationships with others. As long as you're confident that you are enjoying your solitude, and are truly an introvert, then power to you.

However, if you are identifying others as being a cause of your depression, and are happy now because you do not have this in your life, it is conceivable that you may become depressed by not having others in your life at some point as well.

I suffer from the hedgehog's dilemma myself. I crave close and intense relationships with people, and I cherish friends who I can connect on multiple levels with. However, if another hedgehog gets close to me, it is likely they will hurt me as well.

So, dealing with the hurt of being alone and isolated feels "better" than the hurt you feel when someone who you have a close relationship with betrays or hurts you. The pain you can control is better then the one you can't.

Look into yourself and see if this applies to you. If it does, then I'd suggest working on relationships now so that you still have them to sustain you later in life. If you become isolated now, and you truly are an extrovert, one day you'll find yourself in your 40's without the long-term, deep relationships you'll need.

Trust me, I'm there. And I get depressed not by others, but by the fact I am so isolated now that I have no-one to really talk to.
Hey Scooter, I definitely agree with your post and sorry for taking so long to respond. To be honest, I should choose my words more carefully. I wouldn't say "people are the cause of my depression" rather it was the past experiences I had with people that shaped up my negative view of them. I do agree that building relationships is important, that's why I'm trying to really reconnect with my family and take part in more social activities like volunteering at different places. Isolating myself completely wouldn't solve anything, rather, choosing who you trust carefully is extremely important!
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