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Old 09-27-2013, 07:54 PM
 
5 posts, read 6,398 times
Reputation: 17

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My friend at uni constantly asks me for copies of my assignments. In the first year I gave her copies off all my assignments and even proof read and corrected all her work (she is from Russia and English is not her first language). We got on really well, even socializing regularly outside of uni. She was really nice to me, she bought me a Christmas present and cooked me meals at hers etc.

During the 2nd year, I started to get fed up, I was putting in hours of hard work & she would ask me for help on assignments a few days before they were due in. I did offer to help her but said I couldn't give her a copy of my work as I wasn't sure if it was right. She became distant and moody with me when I didn't give her my work but was still speaking to me and accepting help from me. At the end of the year, our group were going for drinks and I suggested we went together, she was quite rude towards me saying she had other better friends to go out with.

I didn't hear from her for months after that, until results day when she rang me and asked me what my results were, I told her and she was really nice congratulating me etc, she then told me she had failed one of the modules, could I send her a copy of my assignment so she could use it as a template for her resit. I initially agreed and she was very thankful. However, when I put the phone down I became increasingly bitter about having to send her the assignment. I worked really hard on the assignment and got a high mark, she had also not been in touch with me for months and I felt like I was being used. I sent her a text saying sorry but I couldn't send her my assignment as I didn't want us both to get into trouble for copying, I did offer to help her though. She text me back saying 'How dare you accuse me of copying of you, I thought you were a friend after all the gifts I have given you, I just wanted your work as guidance and you throw it back in my face, no wonder you haven't got any friends, you are a selfish b*tch...."

My question is do you think I am selfish for not giving her the work or do you think she is using me? I now think the only reason she became friends with me is to use me for my work. I know loads of students help each other with uni work, but with her she doesn't put any effort in herself and doesn't give me any help, its all one way. I am going into my 3rd and final year on Monday and don't know whether to apologize or keep away from her.

Sorry for the long post, any advise would be much appreciated
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:39 PM
 
Location: PA
2,109 posts, read 1,848,559 times
Reputation: 5408
Sounds to me like you are being used, sorry to say.

It seems as though she was nice to you just so long as you gave her copies of your assignments. Real friends will do nice things for you just because they want to, not because they expect something in return.

You are not being selfish by not allowing someone to take advantage of you. Please don't let this girl manipulate you into thinking otherwise.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:43 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,822 posts, read 55,990,399 times
Reputation: 19019
Dump her. She was using you.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,753 posts, read 4,167,874 times
Reputation: 15485
Not only a user, but a nasty one at that to call you names. Friends don't make demands like that. Just let her go.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 401,272 times
Reputation: 506
Your "friend" is very immature and ungrateful.
I understand that it is difficult to study in a language other than your native and she may have needed assistance at first, and you've been a big help to her. However, judging by the behavior you described, she thinks too much of herself and not enough of you.
Let her "better" friends help her

Last edited by Zen Dragonfly; 09-27-2013 at 09:56 PM..
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Old 09-27-2013, 09:01 PM
 
1,915 posts, read 3,346,642 times
Reputation: 3032
You're being used, and you know it. Learn from the experience. Any time a classmate tells me their grades, and they are poor marks....I take off in the other direction. Don't have the time or energy to carry anyone else!

The best thing you can do is cut off this leech that is masquerading as a friend. Find people that truly inspire and motivate you to reach your goals.

You'll run into the same characters in the workplace, so you have to start screening out users and losers now.
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Old 09-27-2013, 10:15 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,988 posts, read 14,669,998 times
Reputation: 14876
She's not using you - she is USING you. Stay away and count yourself lucky. She insults you and then expects help? She expects you to do her work for her. "User" is the nicest thing I would call her.
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Old 09-27-2013, 10:38 PM
 
Location: Southwest Washington State
21,859 posts, read 14,364,134 times
Reputation: 30723
She really is not your friend.
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Old 09-27-2013, 11:04 PM
 
1,915 posts, read 3,346,642 times
Reputation: 3032
Quote:
Originally Posted by silibran View Post
She really is not your friend.
Not only that....by giving her any of your work assignment, you are co-signing plagiarism. I wouldn't risk getting thrown out of school. Hopefully, your past work wasn't copied word for word!
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Old 09-28-2013, 12:22 AM
 
7,385 posts, read 13,229,957 times
Reputation: 8995
You have one more year to go, why burden yourself with that piece of ungrateful crap?
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