Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My inlaws live 6 hours away. They drive up to visit every 2-3 months (to see their 2 young grandchildren). We haven't been down to visit them in over 2 years. We were going to go in June, and she said no due to cataract surgery two weeks away. So we went to Maine. We were hoping to go the week after Xmas but again she said no...blaming the kids not wanting to be away from their toys. They want to come up here. But the two of them aren't the only family we want to see. I have no idea what the issue is. Do they want us in a hotel but don't know how to ask? Do they just like to get away? She's constantly talking about "the next time we go down" but then when we try to arrange it, she turns us down. Any ideas?
I will try to analyze but I think a solution is better. Maybe they don't want to inconvenience you, believe that by having you drive there is inconveniencing you and so offer to come to you.
Solution: Do what you want but respect what they want.
Can you afford a hotel? If so, tell them that you are going down to visit them as well as other relatives. If they protest, just say that you already got a hotel. Hopefully, they will offer to let you stay with them. If not, then it is something else. Oh, well. You still got to do what you wanted and at the same time respected their wishes.
She is adamant we stay with them. We offered to get a hotel before and she will not have it. They even bought a crib and bed for the boys. But it's only been used one time since they say no every time we ask to visit.
My husband and I don't have typical jobs so we can't just go down for a weekend. We work weekends, nights, holidays.... We get three weeks of leave per year. So we are limited in when we can go. She offers up unrealistic weeks for us to go down.
I know they have stress with my father in laws sister so maybe they just like to get away from her? I have no idea. But I find it strange.
She is adamant we stay with them. We offered to get a hotel before and she will not have it. They even bought a crib and bed for the boys. But it's only been used one time since they say no every time we ask to visit.
My husband and I don't have typical jobs so we can't just go down for a weekend. We work weekends, nights, holidays.... We get three weeks of leave per year. So we are limited in when we can go. She offers up unrealistic weeks for us to go down.
I know they have stress with my father in laws sister so maybe they just like to get away from her? I have no idea. But I find it strange.
Then you may have to ask in some way to find out.
"We really want to visit! Why can't we go visit? Please, please, please!"
It is not fun but some people have to have their arms twisted just to get something out of them.
Maybe you should just plan to see the other family first and then tell your in laws that you will visit.
Your spouse can say, "Mom, We are coming to visit Aunt June, Uncle Terry and all the cousins the week of November 5. We would love to see you and Dad during that trip , too" and see what happens.
Is it possible that when they visit you they can leave whenever they want to do so (a few days) but they are worried that you and your family may want to stay for 2 or 3 weeks?
No, we never stay longer than four nights. They also stay four nights when they come here. They stay at a hotel though....they don't want to share a bathroom with the boys.
I'll try planning around other family...hubby's brother. Everything is usually planed around her so it'll be interesting how she responds.
We have the opposite problem. Son and d-i-l live 700 miles away. Next to last time we visited, we were placed in a motel and received this info as we were leaving our home. Which we had no problem with even though there is room in their home for us. Next time we were packed and ready to go visit and got a phone call. It wasn't a good time to visit!!! What the heck. So ok, no reason, just wasn't a good time. That was it for us, no more visits.
If you and your family want to visit just go. Make a reservation at a local motel/hotel and go. Let the relatives you want to visit know your plans and call the in-laws when you arrive. Or you could kindly ask your m-i-l if there is some reason why they don't want you and your family to visit them. Perhaps little children get on their nerves after a period of time, who knows, or they are drinking heavy, maybe fighting or one of them has some secret illness you would see.
Good luck!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
