U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
Old 03-03-2012, 10:24 AM
Location: Hawaii The Big Island
503 posts, read 815,136 times
Reputation: 274


Originally Posted by GreenMachine View Post
What to do. I hate this time of year. I can't bare to be around my family on the holidays for reasons I won't go into. When I was younger, I felt like I had to do it. And then one xmas my mother showed up hungover and I ended up feeling so miserable and depressed all day. I vowed I would never put myself through it again. So here we are again, this horrible time of year, and already I'm getting the pressure. "What's wrong with you? What did we ever do to you that was so horrible?" My father talks to his friends and then they feel sorry for him and so I get it from them as well, "Why don't you want to be with your family?" I have nowhere else to go, so I usually go somewhere to be alone.

Does anyone else have a toxic family? I think one of the reasons people in families go crazy is because of all the lies and denial that goes on. Some minds can't handle it. Is anybody else struggling? Send me a PM if you can't post here.

Gee, how can I reply to you since you are not a member..... did not want to blabber my whole life history to this net, but, man can I relate to you.... I was in late life before I met anyone who I could identify with.... everyone else was telling me they came from Ozzie and Harriet type homes...... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

Old 03-03-2012, 10:27 AM
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,524,748 times
Reputation: 3039
Move 4,000 miles away! It worked for me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-03-2012, 10:28 AM
Location: Hawaii The Big Island
503 posts, read 815,136 times
Reputation: 274
Default What a Cool Forum.... !!!!

Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
Tell them that you got a second job, and you have to work.

Yes, my family is toxic, so I am now grateful that my mom is gone and my dad is 3,000 miles away in Florida. Even when I was growing up I'd rebel against spending holidays with my dad and his girlfriend, because it was always chaos at her place (she and her mother would be screaming at each other about cooking the turkey, etc.). Instead, I went to a friend's house. My older brother went elsewhere as well. It was a heck of a way to live, but why spend holidays being miserable?

I did not know that I was probably the only dog in the world that had severe childhood - family malaise, until I grew up to be this older guy.....every one else was Beaver Cleaver families....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 03-04-2012, 03:05 AM
Location: Southern California
5,407 posts, read 8,103,583 times
Reputation: 5040
I used to completely, utterly dread Thanksgiving & Christmas only because I didn't want to go to my boyfriend's family's get togethers. They're not the warmest people by any means. For about the last 2 yrs, I've been more relaxed because my boyfriend's not too thrilled w/ some of his family members either & he's come to a point where he doesn't care as much about seeing them either thank God.

When it's the holidays, I'd much rather be doing my own thing or travelling...not to visit anyone, but travel for fun. I HATE feeling pressured to do a certain thing for the holidays! No one makes me feel pressured, I just don't ever want that to happen.

My relatives are pleasant to be around, but I hardly see them. We're just not the "get-together for every occasion" type of family even though we live about an hour's drive from each other & that's fine w/ me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-24-2012, 11:31 AM
943 posts, read 1,550,094 times
Reputation: 967
Originally Posted by Phoenix lady View Post
I think it's pronounced odjina. That's how I remember it. And, I can remember people talking about someone giving them odjina/heartburn. Funny. Haven't heard that word for years.

Definition of AGITA

: a feeling of agitation or anxiety
Examples of AGITA

<took a deep breath to dispel her agita as she stepped onstage>
Origin of AGITA

S Italian dialect pron. of Italian acido, literally, heartburn, acid, from Latin acidus
First Known Use: 1982
Related to AGITA

Synonyms: anxiety, agitation, anxiousness, apprehension, apprehensiveness, care, concern, concernment, disquiet, disquietude, fear, nervosity, nervousness, perturbation, solicitude, sweat, unease, uneasiness, worry
Antonyms: unconcern
Other Psychology Terms

fetish, hypochondria, intelligence, mania, narcissism, neurosis, pathological, psychosis, schadenfreude, subliminal
Learn More About AGITA

Thesaurus: All synonyms and antonyms for "agita"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 05-25-2012, 04:44 PM
Location: California
313 posts, read 513,544 times
Reputation: 262
I think toxic families and toxic people enjoy being toxic. They get a thrill out of it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 07-19-2012, 06:41 PM
Location: USA
35 posts, read 29,578 times
Reputation: 23
u may plan a vacation...
there are actually so much things to do on holidays.. u can do part time job like website designing or blogging..
here, Learn Affiliate Marketing | Affiliate Marketing Training maybe this will help u find a part time job that will make u busy ..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-24-2012, 08:08 AM
Location: Portland, OR
4,276 posts, read 6,561,803 times
Reputation: 2907
I feel like I have to go through the same crap every year.

I had stopped visiting "family" for the holidays (or anytime, for that matter.) My mother (who I still talk to) has problems with my cousin. My cousin will talk about people behind her back, talk down on people, boss them around, belittle them. If she doesn't get her way, she tuens into a bigger witch than she already is. I had been her target a few times in the past. My mother has been her target numerous occasions. Growing up I always felt awkward and uncomfortable being around her. She is also married to a control freak who makes his children fear him.

A few years ago I decided I want nothing more to do with this. I chose to cut them cut of my life. My mother (who is still thier punching bag) still opts to go there for the holidays and asks me every year why I refuse to go there. I don't want to be caught in the middle of any of this and refuse to listen to her treat people like this.

I don't get why my mother wants to be part of this. But I have a hard time trying to explain to her why I won't go over. (She forgets I'm 39 years old and can make my own decisions.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Old 12-24-2012, 12:12 PM
3,279 posts, read 6,579,268 times
Reputation: 8308
Originally Posted by DenverLawGal View Post
The rest of my family (uncles, aunts, cousins, gma) are god awful. I refuse to be a part of that chaos. They are judgmental and witchy and just horrible to be around.
My grandmother has over some "friends of the family" who are like that. That's why I stopped going over to her house for Christmas dinner. The last time I went was when I was unemployed a few years ago and I heard them say some rather nasty things about me behind my back. That was the last Christmas dinner I will ever attend as long as those a-holes are there.

My parents have tried to guilt me into going, but I refuse. I just don't care to be around a bunch of jerks.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:37 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top