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Old 03-03-2012, 10:24 AM
 
Location: Hawaii The Big Island
503 posts, read 815,136 times
Reputation: 274

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Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenMachine View Post
What to do. I hate this time of year. I can't bare to be around my family on the holidays for reasons I won't go into. When I was younger, I felt like I had to do it. And then one xmas my mother showed up hungover and I ended up feeling so miserable and depressed all day. I vowed I would never put myself through it again. So here we are again, this horrible time of year, and already I'm getting the pressure. "What's wrong with you? What did we ever do to you that was so horrible?" My father talks to his friends and then they feel sorry for him and so I get it from them as well, "Why don't you want to be with your family?" I have nowhere else to go, so I usually go somewhere to be alone.

Does anyone else have a toxic family? I think one of the reasons people in families go crazy is because of all the lies and denial that goes on. Some minds can't handle it. Is anybody else struggling? Send me a PM if you can't post here.

Gee, how can I reply to you since you are not a member..... did not want to blabber my whole life history to this net, but, man can I relate to you.... I was in late life before I met anyone who I could identify with.... everyone else was telling me they came from Ozzie and Harriet type homes...... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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Old 03-03-2012, 10:27 AM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,524,748 times
Reputation: 3039
Move 4,000 miles away! It worked for me.
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Old 03-03-2012, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Hawaii The Big Island
503 posts, read 815,136 times
Reputation: 274
Default What a Cool Forum.... !!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
Tell them that you got a second job, and you have to work.

Yes, my family is toxic, so I am now grateful that my mom is gone and my dad is 3,000 miles away in Florida. Even when I was growing up I'd rebel against spending holidays with my dad and his girlfriend, because it was always chaos at her place (she and her mother would be screaming at each other about cooking the turkey, etc.). Instead, I went to a friend's house. My older brother went elsewhere as well. It was a heck of a way to live, but why spend holidays being miserable?

I did not know that I was probably the only dog in the world that had severe childhood - family malaise, until I grew up to be this older guy.....every one else was Beaver Cleaver families....
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Old 03-04-2012, 03:05 AM
 
Location: Southern California
5,407 posts, read 8,103,583 times
Reputation: 5040
I used to completely, utterly dread Thanksgiving & Christmas only because I didn't want to go to my boyfriend's family's get togethers. They're not the warmest people by any means. For about the last 2 yrs, I've been more relaxed because my boyfriend's not too thrilled w/ some of his family members either & he's come to a point where he doesn't care as much about seeing them either thank God.

When it's the holidays, I'd much rather be doing my own thing or travelling...not to visit anyone, but travel for fun. I HATE feeling pressured to do a certain thing for the holidays! No one makes me feel pressured, I just don't ever want that to happen.

My relatives are pleasant to be around, but I hardly see them. We're just not the "get-together for every occasion" type of family even though we live about an hour's drive from each other & that's fine w/ me.
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Old 05-24-2012, 11:31 AM
 
943 posts, read 1,550,094 times
Reputation: 967
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phoenix lady View Post
I think it's pronounced odjina. That's how I remember it. And, I can remember people talking about someone giving them odjina/heartburn. Funny. Haven't heard that word for years.


Definition of AGITA

: a feeling of agitation or anxiety
Examples of AGITA

<took a deep breath to dispel her agita as she stepped onstage>
Origin of AGITA

S Italian dialect pron. of Italian acido, literally, heartburn, acid, from Latin acidus
First Known Use: 1982
Related to AGITA

Synonyms: anxiety, agitation, anxiousness, apprehension, apprehensiveness, care, concern, concernment, disquiet, disquietude, fear, nervosity, nervousness, perturbation, solicitude, sweat, unease, uneasiness, worry
Antonyms: unconcern
[+]more
Other Psychology Terms

fetish, hypochondria, intelligence, mania, narcissism, neurosis, pathological, psychosis, schadenfreude, subliminal
Learn More About AGITA

Thesaurus: All synonyms and antonyms for "agita"
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Old 05-25-2012, 04:44 PM
 
Location: California
313 posts, read 513,544 times
Reputation: 262
I think toxic families and toxic people enjoy being toxic. They get a thrill out of it.
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Old 07-19-2012, 06:41 PM
 
Location: USA
35 posts, read 29,578 times
Reputation: 23
u may plan a vacation...
there are actually so much things to do on holidays.. u can do part time job like website designing or blogging..
here, Learn Affiliate Marketing | Affiliate Marketing Training maybe this will help u find a part time job that will make u busy ..
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Old 12-24-2012, 08:08 AM
 
Location: Portland, OR
4,276 posts, read 6,561,803 times
Reputation: 2907
I feel like I have to go through the same crap every year.

I had stopped visiting "family" for the holidays (or anytime, for that matter.) My mother (who I still talk to) has problems with my cousin. My cousin will talk about people behind her back, talk down on people, boss them around, belittle them. If she doesn't get her way, she tuens into a bigger witch than she already is. I had been her target a few times in the past. My mother has been her target numerous occasions. Growing up I always felt awkward and uncomfortable being around her. She is also married to a control freak who makes his children fear him.

A few years ago I decided I want nothing more to do with this. I chose to cut them cut of my life. My mother (who is still thier punching bag) still opts to go there for the holidays and asks me every year why I refuse to go there. I don't want to be caught in the middle of any of this and refuse to listen to her treat people like this.

I don't get why my mother wants to be part of this. But I have a hard time trying to explain to her why I won't go over. (She forgets I'm 39 years old and can make my own decisions.)
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:12 PM
 
3,279 posts, read 6,579,268 times
Reputation: 8308
Quote:
Originally Posted by DenverLawGal View Post
The rest of my family (uncles, aunts, cousins, gma) are god awful. I refuse to be a part of that chaos. They are judgmental and witchy and just horrible to be around.
My grandmother has over some "friends of the family" who are like that. That's why I stopped going over to her house for Christmas dinner. The last time I went was when I was unemployed a few years ago and I heard them say some rather nasty things about me behind my back. That was the last Christmas dinner I will ever attend as long as those a-holes are there.

My parents have tried to guilt me into going, but I refuse. I just don't care to be around a bunch of jerks.
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