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Old 09-01-2009, 07:12 PM
 
5,007 posts, read 7,868,880 times
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It's September. Start making holiday avoidance plans TODAY!
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Old 09-01-2009, 07:16 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,767,982 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cricket_factor View Post
It's September. Start making holiday avoidance plans TODAY!
Oh hell, I used to walk into the travel agent and say - 'what have you got leaving tomorrow?'
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Old 12-25-2010, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Down Under
31 posts, read 42,030 times
Reputation: 34
I HATE Christmas in particular, its always the same. It's always at either my parents or my sister's place, I've tried to get it over at mine in the hopes of avoiding the territorial nastiness that always happens with my father and sister ganging up and giving me a hard time, why am I single and a parent of 3. What's wrong with me, my fatherr brushing up against me even though he knows it gives me the creeps. It always appears on the outside so very accidental (then why does it keep happening). When I complain, its always I'm being too sensitive. I talk to my sisters partner about the colour he's painted the fence, my sister stating Im coming on to him. My mother repeatedly saying sorry for saying about once telling me she's embarrassed about walking down the same street as me. (I have alepecia) I just wish she'd drop the subject. Then after we'd eaten and unwrapped the presants, how much they liked the handmade jewellery I'd make for my sister and mother. But then trash talk the items into the ground while I washed and dried (the tables are outside and in the courtyard which is under the kitchen windows). I don't know why I put up with it. I do it for the kids, they love their grandparents and auntie. This year they started on about my oldests choice of high schools and was starting to put him down in front of him, I didn't know as I'd just tuned out until Jeremy burst into the kitchen in tears. This year I picked up my sisters most expensive crystal bowl stalked out to were they where all having a wonderful time in making my kids cry and smashed the bowl on the floor, walked up to my sister, my father and slapped both their faces told them where they happy now that they'd made the kids christmas a misery told the kids to get in the car and forget the presents that they weren't worth the misery, turned to my ex-family and told them that making the kids cry was the last straw. That they weren't worthy to be a family that I'd associate with and that as far as I was concerned could drop off the face of the planet. And that I never wanted anything to do with them again. Got into the car and drove off. When I got home and calmed the kids down got onto Telstra and changed my home number, I forgot about my mobile and had a number of rather shocked messages to which I'm never replying to. Sometimes it's just not worth keeping in touch with your family when its their mission in life to degrade and humiliate you. Take a deep breath tell the miserable bugga's exactly what you think and walk out. I feel like all the weight of the years has lifted from my shoulders, even more so because I had my father removed by the police in handcuffs this morning. I'm never going to put up with that crap again and never going to more importantly put my children through it.

Don't put up with it, your better than that, your worth more than all of them. Let them all be miserable without YOU!!!
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Old 12-25-2010, 05:40 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 5,642,214 times
Reputation: 3442
Quote:
Originally Posted by GOLDDRAGONLADY View Post
I HATE Christmas in particular, its always the same. It's always at either my parents or my sister's place, I've tried to get it over at mine in the hopes of avoiding the territorial nastiness that always happens with my father and sister ganging up and giving me a hard time, why am I single and a parent of 3. What's wrong with me, my fatherr brushing up against me even though he knows it gives me the creeps. It always appears on the outside so very accidental (then why does it keep happening). When I complain, its always I'm being too sensitive. I talk to my sisters partner about the colour he's painted the fence, my sister stating Im coming on to him. My mother repeatedly saying sorry for saying about once telling me she's embarrassed about walking down the same street as me. (I have alepecia) I just wish she'd drop the subject. Then after we'd eaten and unwrapped the presants, how much they liked the handmade jewellery I'd make for my sister and mother. But then trash talk the items into the ground while I washed and dried (the tables are outside and in the courtyard which is under the kitchen windows). I don't know why I put up with it. I do it for the kids, they love their grandparents and auntie. This year they started on about my oldests choice of high schools and was starting to put him down in front of him, I didn't know as I'd just tuned out until Jeremy burst into the kitchen in tears. This year I picked up my sisters most expensive crystal bowl stalked out to were they where all having a wonderful time in making my kids cry and smashed the bowl on the floor, walked up to my sister, my father and slapped both their faces told them where they happy now that they'd made the kids christmas a misery told the kids to get in the car and forget the presents that they weren't worth the misery, turned to my ex-family and told them that making the kids cry was the last straw. That they weren't worthy to be a family that I'd associate with and that as far as I was concerned could drop off the face of the planet. And that I never wanted anything to do with them again. Got into the car and drove off. When I got home and calmed the kids down got onto Telstra and changed my home number, I forgot about my mobile and had a number of rather shocked messages to which I'm never replying to. Sometimes it's just not worth keeping in touch with your family when its their mission in life to degrade and humiliate you. Take a deep breath tell the miserable bugga's exactly what you think and walk out. I feel like all the weight of the years has lifted from my shoulders, even more so because I had my father removed by the police in handcuffs this morning. I'm never going to put up with that crap again and never going to more importantly put my children through it.

Don't put up with it, your better than that, your worth more than all of them. Let them all be miserable without YOU!!!

Good for you! I have 2 children and the kids and I were never good enough for my mother and brothers. The last couple of Christmases have been just the 3 of us and not around the rest of the family. We love it and would never go back again to all that drama and chaos. It takes a lot of guts to do what you did but like me, we do it for the kids. No one has the right to put our kids down and make them miserable. Move on and find friends that will become family and have loving, kind and considerate people circle around you and your kids. Good luck in the future!
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Old 12-25-2010, 06:25 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,387,584 times
Reputation: 10958
I can't make it. I don't own a car, and none of my surviving family lives in the same town. So there is no way I can go visit them.
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Old 12-25-2010, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Northside Of Jacksonville
3,288 posts, read 6,107,871 times
Reputation: 3375
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roaddog View Post
Well here I go, my mother and Father in-law always want to have holidays at their house, I'll paint the picture, walk in the front door, the smell of dog doo hits you like a brick, the carpet is matted like someone rubbed grease on it, there are wet spots, the dogs use the furniture to wipe their butts, you better look before you sit or you may sit in dog doo, keep all the lights on or the cockroaches will come a running, the oven exploded from all the grease, don't go in the kitchen unless you have a strong stomache and never use the restroom unless your on a strong antibiotic. I'm being nice because it's worst than that. I've never ate there in over 30 years, I, along with my brother in-laws stand in the front yard avoiding the piles of dog do and drink beer to ease the pain, our wives come home sick.
One sister in-law now has the holidays at her house, it's clean and i can eat. The Mother and Father in-law throw a childish fit because they want to do it at their house, the daughters explain it straight out to them and they don't understand, their both insane.
We go to my parents, it works out nice, then stop by her sisters for a visit.
Where you live in, the projects?
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Old 12-25-2010, 09:02 PM
 
5,702 posts, read 16,190,575 times
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LOL, this thread was started in 2007 but still a hot topic apparently. I actually enjoy Christmas more than I ever have. Reason being is I have not gone home for Christmas since I moved away 3 years ago. I only live 4 hrs away but I blame bad weather not being able to go home. It is true I live in an area with a lot of lake effect snow but I hype it up. I just enjoyed another Christmas without going home. My mother called me earlier tonight to give me the low down on all the festivities I missed with family. So lets see...my sister was rude, mean spirited and hurt people's feelings. My brother had his usual rage towards his wife and children because well...who knows. He is an a hole. Two cousins did not give my mother their portion of a gift they all had went in on together so my mom was stiffed 200 bucks. Hopefully she will learn her lesson and not do it again but it has happened before so I doubt it. On my husband's side we missed the kids in the family having meltdowns and tearing up the home of whoever decided to host the annual party. My over all self righteous snobby in-laws.

In my house I enjoyed some spike egg nog, watched some movies and did not have to run to 4-6 houses in one evening shivering from the cold. Not sure if I will ever go home for Christmas again. I really do not miss it. Just when I start to think I should make the trip, I get an update from my mother and think. wheww. Dodged another bullet.
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Old 11-12-2011, 09:39 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,533 times
Reputation: 10
I came about this thread by chance.

At 19 I travelled country to live closer and re-connect with my father. I didn't know until the day I arrived that he had a girlfriend that had been living with him for 7 months prior. Their relationship has caused me so much emotional baggage. After finishing college I had to move back in with my dad for a few months before leaving oneday. I left all my stuff behind.

Last Christmas my gran died and this year my dad has been battling cancer. I was taking sole care of him until it worsened, all of a sudden his girlfriend was back and to my horror taking medical terminology classes and volunteering at the local hospital.

This Thanksgiving I was going to host a small get-together with my boyfriend all together around 7 people for brunch, so they can go do there own thing for the rest of the day. I invited my dad who ended up inviting his toxic girlfriend and her stepmother. I don't mind the stepmother, but his girlfriend possibly coming into my home made me sick to my stomach. You see, I get panick attacks, compulsions and cry for about week after seeing her. Anyways, I ended up emailing my dad saying he was welcome but she wasn't to my brunch and also that I wouldn't be coming over for dinner at his house as I don't care to break bread with his girlfriend. It's tough, but I've had to discontinue contact with his whole side, who pretend they're on my side, but then are best buddies with his girlfriend behind my back. I feel much better without them all in my life, I've endured a lot of guilt ridden drama! And why? all because I wanted to re-connect.
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Old 11-13-2011, 07:52 AM
 
Location: Dallas, TX
753 posts, read 1,277,332 times
Reputation: 884
Yep. Me too. Family craziness that I just don't choose to expose myself (and my son for sure) to anymore. It sucks and it hurts. I feel it often.

Just know you are not alone. You must do what you can to take care of yourself. If you have the money, this time of year might be a cool time to take a fun trip by yourself to some neat place you've been wanting to see.

Hang in there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenMachine View Post
What to do. I hate this time of year. I can't bare to be around my family on the holidays for reasons I won't go into. When I was younger, I felt like I had to do it. And then one xmas my mother showed up hungover and I ended up feeling so miserable and depressed all day. I vowed I would never put myself through it again. So here we are again, this horrible time of year, and already I'm getting the pressure. "What's wrong with you? What did we ever do to you that was so horrible?" My father talks to his friends and then they feel sorry for him and so I get it from them as well, "Why don't you want to be with your family?" I have nowhere else to go, so I usually go somewhere to be alone.

Does anyone else have a toxic family? I think one of the reasons people in families go crazy is because of all the lies and denial that goes on. Some minds can't handle it. Is anybody else struggling? Send me a PM if you can't post here.
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Old 11-13-2011, 08:17 AM
 
663 posts, read 941,368 times
Reputation: 940
We make plans ahead of time so we aren't around when the dreaded holidays come around. The last time we chose to go to one of these shenanigans, it ended up a mild disaster as usual. Usually involves drunkenness and verbal diarrhea.

This year I am feeling a little guilty about turning them down as my dad died last month. Since then there's been a lot more pressure on their part to get together. Last weekend we went to an informal memorial for my dad; my aunt had it at her house. We went hoping it would not turn out like every other get-together. We arrived at the stated time, mid-morning, and my aunt was already sauced. G-pa started drinking at 11am and never stopped.....and we didn't leave until well into the evening. One of my uncles got very drunk and started cracking gay jokes.....one of my other uncles, also present, is gay and it's no secret.

The circus never stops, not even when someone dies. The next day I made reservations over Thanksgiving weekend and at a location far enough away from the family festivities. It's safe to say any feelings of guilt I had are gone.
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