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Old 10-27-2013, 05:56 PM
 
84 posts, read 112,375 times
Reputation: 21

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I'm new to C-D so I didn't know where to put this but bear with me I'm sorry if you're irked i put this here. I'm 19 and my cousin is 28. I go to college in Chicago and she works. We share an apt pretty close to campus. Since I'm in school and don't have a job, she pays 100% of the rent and utilities bills. . She is constantly treating me like a child. If I go out to a party she tells me to “ be safe , no drinking, and be responsible”. If I start dating a girl she always tells why she doesn’t feel that the girl is right for me. She’s constantly on my back about studying and eating healthy. If I object to anything she says she gets defensive. “ Dude, I’m just trying to help. You’re only 19 you don’t know everything. I pay the rent( She does, I’ll give her that).” On top of this I have chores. It's imperative I make my bed before i leave for class. She’s not my mom. And apparently my cousin is allowed to ground me. Last night I went out with some people. I had 3 drinks and was done. When I came back to the apartment, she found out I’d had 3 drinks and overreacted.
Her: Why were you drinking? You know the rule
Me: Not a big deal I had 3
Her: 3 more than you are allowed to. I swear I feel like your mother. Look this conversation is over, go away. I lost a lot of trust in you
Then she grounded me. No phone or TV for 2 weeks. My new chores are cleaning the entire apt, doing all the dishes. I called my mom and my aunt and consensus is that she has the authority to ground me. I don’t think a 19 year old should be grounded and I’ve pleaded my case to no avail. Part of me wants to sneak out and show her up yet another part wants to not get in any more trouble.
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:01 PM
 
Location: sumter
12,931 posts, read 9,537,048 times
Reputation: 10407
good cousin
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:02 PM
 
84 posts, read 112,375 times
Reputation: 21
how so?
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:03 PM
 
22,284 posts, read 21,585,660 times
Reputation: 54727
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagokid View Post
I'm new to C-D so I didn't know where to put this but bear with me I'm sorry if you're irked i put this here. I'm 19 and my cousin is 28. I go to college in Chicago and she works. We share an apt pretty close to campus. Since I'm in school and don't have a job, she pays 100% of the rent and utilities bills. . She is constantly treating me like a child. If I go out to a party she tells me to “ be safe , no drinking, and be responsible”. If I start dating a girl she always tells why she doesn’t feel that the girl is right for me. She’s constantly on my back about studying and eating healthy. If I object to anything she says she gets defensive. “ Dude, I’m just trying to help. You’re only 19 you don’t know everything. I pay the rent( She does, I’ll give her that).” On top of this I have chores. It's imperative I make my bed before i leave for class. She’s not my mom. And apparently my cousin is allowed to ground me. Last night I went out with some people. I had 3 drinks and was done. When I came back to the apartment, she found out I’d had 3 drinks and overreacted.
Her: Why were you drinking? You know the rule
Me: Not a big deal I had 3
Her: 3 more than you are allowed to. I swear I feel like your mother. Look this conversation is over, go away. I lost a lot of trust in you
Then she grounded me. No phone or TV for 2 weeks. My new chores are cleaning the entire apt, doing all the dishes. I called my mom and my aunt and consensus is that she has the authority to ground me. I don’t think a 19 year old should be grounded and I’ve pleaded my case to no avail. Part of me wants to sneak out and show her up yet another part wants to not get in any more trouble.
Get a job and move out. When a grown man has made himself 100% dependent on another adult, he really has no room to complain about his situation.

Oh wait. Maybe you wanted us to call your cousin and tell her she is being unfairrrrrrrr!!!!????

Last edited by Jaded; 10-29-2013 at 02:11 AM.. Reason: language
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Richmond VA
6,870 posts, read 7,811,823 times
Reputation: 18193
Look at it this way...you could be arrested for drinking underage. So I guess if your mom and aunt are in support of her rules, and you are not paying rent, you need to live up to their expectations.

If you want more freedom, find the money to move out. Simple.
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:05 PM
 
84 posts, read 112,375 times
Reputation: 21
my parents said I can't move out though
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:05 PM
 
18,325 posts, read 18,900,655 times
Reputation: 15627
when you live under someone's roof and they pay your way you are stuck playing by their rules. your only option is telling her as tactfully as possible that you are an adult and would appreciate being treated more that way. other than that you should move out, get a job maybe go to school part time.
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:06 PM
 
18,325 posts, read 18,900,655 times
Reputation: 15627
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagokid View Post
my parents said I can't move out though
you are of age, if you have your own money you can do as you like.
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:07 PM
 
84 posts, read 112,375 times
Reputation: 21
still think 2 weeks is steep. 3 days is more reasonable. I don't think having 3 drinks with a friend and not driving home, is all that bad. And when did I ask her for an opinion on girls I go on dates with?

Last edited by chicagokid; 10-27-2013 at 06:17 PM..
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Old 10-27-2013, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,552,039 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by chicagokid View Post
still think 2 weeks is steep. 3 days is more reasonable. I don't think having 3 drinks with a friend and not driving home, is all that bad. And when did I ask her for an opinion on girls I go on dates with?


Don't you get it???

It is illegal for you to drink. You could be arrested. Stop it.
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