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Look at all the dramatic pronouncements. I'm sure there are perpetually tardy folks out there who do it because they're big egotists who figure the event doesn't start until they arrive, but I'm also sure there are people who are just easily distracted or dreamy or whatever. You can make their tardiness all about you and pitch a fit, you can accomodate the person, or you can go with option three, which is my method - just go about whatever you were going to do and the person can catch up when/if they arrive. Eat dinner. Get seated in the theater. Start the meeting. If you've got someone you know is like this, don't plan on carpooling with them. It's not your job to arrange your life to fit their tardy schedule, but it's also not their job to change their lives around to fit your norms and preferences, either (unless it's literally their job because you're their boss, of course ). Let them deal with the consequences (or lack thereof, in some cases) of their actions - generally speaking, it's not your problem unless you allow it to be.
I think you miss the point. Perpetually late people adversely affect others, whether they intend to or not. Their inability to see (or even care) is why they're often accused of being self-absorbed narcicists.
I think you miss the point. Perpetually late people adversely affect others, whether they intend to or not. Their inability to see (or even care) is why they're often accused of being self-absorbed narcicists.
I think you miss the point. The person whose actions you have control over is yourself. Getting all worked up over another person's lateness, taking it personally, coming up with the most negative interpretations of their states of mind...that's all in your own head. If you want to carry around that blood-pressure raising attitude, you're certainly welcome to, but for me it's much easier to just say "bleh, some people are sluggish" and go about my life on the schedule I prefer. As long as we're not talking about EMTs or police dispatchers or bus drivers or similar, lateness on their part generally doesn't need to cause problems for me, unless I let it.
I used to be a manager at a major video store chain and half my employees were young college students or just out of high school. I told them upon being hired that my biggest peeve is attendance issues especially being tardy and that I expected them to come to work on time and when scheduled. Of course they would always tell me they understood and they followed the schedule for the first month or so but sooner or later they would start rushing in at the last minute or calling in "sick" on a Saturday or Sunday morning knowing full well that they were hung over from the previous night. Most of them lived withing a 5 mile radius and they were the worst when it came to being on time. Needless to say I had a high turnover rate but since the job only appealed to that age group it was almost a revolving door or new employees.
I'm currently a security officer and at my post I have someone that relieves me of my duties at the end of my shift. Months ago it was this younger guy that started off showing up a few minutes early, as is expected, but gradually started coming in closer and closer to the start time which was still fine. It wasn't until he began showing up 5-10 minutes late that it really started to bother me. This became a daily thing and even after I talked to him about it he would shrug it off like it wasn't a big deal. Well I decided to start adding the unpaid overtime into my time sheets and it was immediately noticed by the main office since over time is something they HATE to have to pay so they began to investigate and sure enough they verified the other officer was coming on late about 10 minutes and 6 days a week so it was adding up to 60 minutes per week....4 hours per month. I didn't see him again after that. Every officer at our post is professional and considerate and always a few minutes early which is the way it should be.
The anal-minded punctuality Nazi's never stop to realize the health effects of putting people through all that stress of showing up on time. Nowadays, I won't even accept an invitation to someone I know to be a stickler on punctuality. Too much stress! I can live without going through all that rise in my blood pressure, breaking my neck, risking a speeding ticket, to be somewhere on time!
Just reading a book (Come Back To Afghanistan) and in the book it's stated that in that country, everything runs an hour late!
Sounds like Latin America!
I used to be in the massage business. I've laughed, many times, at these anal types, who will show up within seconds of the hour. And, God forbid, with these anal types, don't ever say: You can come anytime between 7p and 8p, that will drive them crazy!
I used to have a client who booked a 7pm appointment every Tuesday, and sometimes I'd look out the window at 6:58pm and there he'd be sitting in his car, waiting for 7pm to arrive! Now that person needs some psychiatric help!!! And how many times did I tell him!!! If you're a half-hour late, don't sweat it!!
Last edited by tijlover; 11-03-2013 at 09:09 PM..
Reason: spelling
The anal-minded punctuality Nazi's never stop to realize the health effects of putting people through all that stress of showing up on time. Nowadays, I won't even accept an invitation to someone I know to be a stickler on punctuality. Too much stress! I can live without going through all that rise in my blood pressure, breaking my neck, risking a speeding ticket, to be somewhere on time!
You really don't get it. Not having to rush to get somewhere late means you're not risking a speeding ticket or breaking your neck or having your blood pressure rise. With a little planning, you can factor in the "woops" and arrive on time, stressfree, drama free, leave the xanax at home.
Also, don't get me started on weddings! I have never understood how the biggest event of people's life (at no small expense mind you) are almost universally late. Did someone not get the memo? Are they intentionally planned to be late? Did someone just not factor in how long it takes to get dressed. Maybe it's considered vogue to keep your guests waiting.
I informed my now wife that our wedding would start on time - regardless! It almost worked, except the car bringing my MIL was late in arriving. We started about 10 min late, which is quite an accomplishment as weddings go.
That's why my wedding was at 4:00 in the afternoon. My ex had allllllll day to get to the church on time. I think that was the one event he was not late to in the entire marriage.
And that was because I told him he needed to be at the church at 3:00.
Also, don't get me started on weddings! I have never understood how the biggest event of people's life (at no small expense mind you) are almost universally late. Did someone not get the memo? Are they intentionally planned to be late? Did someone just not factor in how long it takes to get dressed. Maybe it's considered vogue to keep your guests waiting.
I informed my now wife that our wedding would start on time - regardless! It almost worked, except the car bringing my MIL was late in arriving. We started about 10 min late, which is quite an accomplishment as weddings go.
I don't think I have ever honestly attended a wedding that started on time. EVER.
The worst tardy wedding was actually the reason why I don't think it's a good idea for entire wedding parties to share a limo.....my cousin was getting married and every groomsman except the groom and best man were so late they almost missed the entire ceremony and this was a Catholic ceremony so you're talking about an hour late. Turned out their stretch limo they were sharing got caught in a traffic accident which shut the freeway down and it happened right ahead of them so they were stuck till the lanes were cleared. It was pretty funny to see these guys sprinting into the church right near the end of the ceremony where they say "I Do".
The anal-minded punctuality Nazi's never stop to realize the health effects of putting people through all that stress of showing up on time. Nowadays, I won't even accept an invitation to someone I know to be a stickler on punctuality. Too much stress! I can live without going through all that rise in my blood pressure, breaking my neck, risking a speeding ticket, to be somewhere on time!
Just reading a book (Come Back To Afghanistan) and in the book it's stated that in that country, everything runs an hour late!
Sounds like Latin America!
I used to be in the massage business. I've laughed, many times, at these anal types, who will show up within seconds of the hour. And, God forbid, with these anal types, don't ever say: You can come anytime between 7p and 8p, that will drive them crazy!
I used to have a client who booked a 7pm appointment every Tuesday, and sometimes I'd look out the window at 6:58pm and there he'd be sitting in his car, waiting for 7pm to arrive! Now that person needs some psychiatric help!!! And how many times did I tell him!!! If you're a half-hour late, don't sweat it!!
I don't think being on time and expecting the same from others is anal.
The anal-minded punctuality Nazi's never stop to realize the health effects of putting people through all that stress of showing up on time. Nowadays, I won't even accept an invitation to someone I know to be a stickler on punctuality. Too much stress! I can live without going through all that rise in my blood pressure, breaking my neck, risking a speeding ticket, to be somewhere on time!
Just reading a book (Come Back To Afghanistan) and in the book it's stated that in that country, everything runs an hour late!
Sounds like Latin America!
I used to be in the massage business. I've laughed, many times, at these anal types, who will show up within seconds of the hour. And, God forbid, with these anal types, don't ever say: You can come anytime between 7p and 8p, that will drive them crazy!
I used to have a client who booked a 7pm appointment every Tuesday, and sometimes I'd look out the window at 6:58pm and there he'd be sitting in his car, waiting for 7pm to arrive! Now that person needs some psychiatric help!!! And how many times did I tell him!!! If you're a half-hour late, don't sweat it!!
Translation: Even though I agree to be somewhere at a certain time, I can't really be bothered with it, using some phoney-baloney theory to back me up. I'm so incapable of planning more than seven minutes ahead of time that even the littlest things throw me into a total swivet. It's never occurred to me that other people have other things to do with their day before their time with me. What's more, it's never occurred to me that those other people might actually be considerate of my time, assuming that I might have appointments before or after my appointment with them.
Then, to rationalize my failure to consider others in my day, I'll quote a book about some war-ravaged basket case of a country, never for a moment thinking about the fact that it is a medieval backwater where no sane person would want to live, and no sane culture would want to emulate.
I'm always baffled by this thinking. Why are you so contemptuous of other people's time?
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). Let them deal with the consequences (or lack thereof, in some cases) of their actions - generally speaking, it's not your problem unless you allow it to be.
And how many times did I tell him!!! If you're a half-hour late, don't sweat it!!
