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I think it's just a passive aggressive way of saying "I'm more important than you are."
That's what really bugs me. People who are relieving me at work showing up constantly a few minutes late. Not really enough to put in or overtime but making me stay a few minutes on the time they are getting paid for.
... Now if we have reservations somewhere, I am always on time.
So, if you're paying for the food you're on time, but if you're the guest of a hostess who is doing all the work to entertain you, you have no need to follow her timetable? That makes no sense and seems a tad passive-aggressive to me.
This a pet peeve of mine as well. I had a friend that never showed up on time. It was horrible and eventually I simply stopped doing things with her. One time she had me waiting for 2 hours. I would have left but I took a taxi to the location. She kept saying she was on her way. I was furious when she finally showed up. She is an acquaintance now. My brother and sister n law are chronic with tardiness. Any family party, event....what have you. They are late and not by 5 minutes, sometimes over an hour. The worst was babysitting. Many times I was told they would be back by such and such time and never were. It was so bad I would have to call them and ask "are you coming home?" Guess who stopped babysitting? They lost a lot of babysitters this way and never really understood why.
My husband and I both have this problem [oversleeping because they didn't hear the alarm]. We have multiple alarm clocks. One of them gets progressively louder the longer it goes off, and the other has a vibrating attachment that goes under your pillow. I have still had to leave work early a handful of times to go home and wake my husband, because he doesn't wake up to the alarms or my phone calls. I'm not as bad about it as he is, but there have been times I have slept through huge amounts of noise. It's not intentional. I'd like to know how you think one can control whether or not they wake up.
There could be a many reasons for an inability to awaken normally. An illness like ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, sleep apnea, or hormonal disorder. Getting high before bed. Drinking to the point of passing out rather than merely falling asleep. Taking some prescription medication that puts you into the deepest level of sleep. Not getting enough sleep on a regular schedule. Being a teenager (seriously, their brains often do this, but they grow out of it).
If none of those reasons is the case, you (and especially he) could have a sleep disorder. Extrinsic sleep disorders are caused by frequently changing work shifts, time zones, or some other external force that disturbs circadian rhythms. Intrinsic sleep disorders are of four types:
-Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS), characterized by a progressively later sleep onset every day and a corresponding inability to wake up, sometimes with a period of peak alertness in the middle of the sleep. The phase often resets to normal hours temporarily if the person stays awake almost 24 hours.
-Advanced Sleep Phase Syndrome (ASPS), characterized by difficulty staying awake in the evening and difficulty staying asleep in the morning.
-Non-24 Sleep-Wake Disorder, in which the affected individual's sleep occurs later and later each day, with the period of peak alertness also continuously moving around the clock from day to day.
-Irregular Sleep-Wake Rhythm, which presents as sleeping at very irregular times, and usually more than twice per day (waking frequently during the night and taking naps during the day) but with total time asleep typical for the person's age.
Anyone who has symptoms like these should see a doctor.
We have family members who were always late. We simply stopped waiting on them. If they were late for dinner, we started without them.
Since they're my parents age, you can imagine their surprise the first couple of times this happened. They started to act like they were offended till they realized we all had been waiting. No one said a word about it. They haven't been late in awhile now.
Aside from liars, my biggest annoyance is people who are incapable of showing up on time. I'm not talking about folks who get into an unexpected traffic jam on the interstate on the rare occasion. I'm talking about people who are never on time. The people who, if you have 7 p.m. dinner reservations, can't get there until 7:20 or 7:30. Why is that? Is it because they think their time is more valuable than anyone else's? Or are they just such total halfwits that they can't function? This article sums it up perfectly:
When I had my business, the office opened at 8:30. Not 8:31, but 8:30. If we had a 9 a.m. meeting, it started on the dot at 9 a.m. The doors were shut and you weren't late unless you had an awfully good reason. Funny how people manage to be punctual once you held their feet to the fire. Because the person who is ten minutes late to a meeting with six other people just wasted a total of an hour of people's time. And that doesn't count having to backtrack and explain things twice if the meeting has gotten underway. I mean, I can count on one hand the number of times I've been late to anything in the past five years.
Same thing in personal life. How many times have you had to hold down the table at a restaurant for thirty minutes because the other people were late? The waiters get annoyed and you have to wait on everyone else to order. And don't get me started on friends of ours who arrived 45 minutes late to our dinner party.
And please don't start offering hints on how to deal with these kind of people, such as telling them 6:30 for a 7:00 dinner reservation. That's just enabling thoughtless behavior.
It's disrespectful, there is no way to spin it. In college, I had a friend who was notoriously 2-3 hours late. Keep in mind, as I tell this, that she was/is brilliant in math. I should know, she helped me after school to understand math, (only person on this planet who ever explained it in a way that made perfect sense to me, and then after that, math was fun), and wanted to be an actuary. So, numbers were NOT foreign to her.
If we were supposed to meet at 1pm, and she didn't show until 3pm, I would ask her wth. No phone call, nothing. She said, I'm not even kidding, that she wasn't "that" late because the 1 and the 3 were not that far from each other on the clock.
Needless to say, we weren't friends much longer after that.
I give people 20 minutes. If I receive no phone call with a decent excuse, they can forget it. I have other things I can be doing.
I remember the first time I was late, it was a few weeks after I got my license and had no idea that rain would make people drive slower. I'm rarely ever late. It drives me crazy. Especially if it's my first time doing something, I like to get there early. I'm usually there 10 or 15 minutes before it starts.
If it's a party or gathering, I'm no more than 10 minutes later than what the invitation said. It bothers me to be first…
So, if you're paying for the food you're on time, but if you're the guest of a hostess who is doing all the work to entertain you, you have no need to follow her timetable? That makes no sense and seems a tad passive-aggressive to me.
No, I usually try to show up on time, however, I've arrived at plenty of my friends houses and they were running late or I was asked to grab this, grab that, help with the kid/dog, etc.. No offense to them or anyone but when people come to my house, I try to have things ready before they get there and don't expect anyone to help me. So, I started showing up a few minutes late to their parties so I wouldn't have to be the one doing work in their house. I'm happy to help, once in a while but if you are hosting something, have it ready, don't expect people to take care of your kids/pets for you while you run around like a crazy person.
I arrive at restaurant on time because I'm not leaving people waiting at the bar because they can't be seated until we all get there. At their house, they are likely running around anyway. At least that's how 99.9% of parties I attend are.
Not passive aggressive, just don't feel like doing work in other people's houses. Now, my mom has a friend who always has everything perfect hours before anyone arrives...I always show up to her parties right on time!
I remember the first time I was late, it was a few weeks after I got my license and had no idea that rain would make people drive slower. I'm rarely ever late. It drives me crazy. Especially if it's my first time doing something, I like to get there early. I'm usually there 10 or 15 minutes before it starts.
If it's a party or gathering, I'm no more than 10 minutes later than what the invitation said. It bothers me to be first…
Same here. I hate being the first to arrive at a party.
Like others, I hate being the first person at an event or function (especially a social function). I try to time my arrival so that it doesn't inconvenience the host or others. For business activities, I try to be punctual. In my opinion, it is extremely unprofessional to be late. Sadly, sometimes I'm not as professional as I should be, but I own it and strive to do better the next time.
Allow me to share one of my pet peeves around lateness. We're going to a movie, event, or activity that has a set start time. Seating is at a premium. I once had a (chronically late) friend who would arrive early because she was riding with me, who would insist that we hold seats for other chronically late friends. Even though those ffriends would never make sn effort to get their earlier. So, let me get this straight. We're supposed to deprive other people who made a special effort to get here early so that they could get a good seat, so that the people who made no effort could have them? I never understood the logic, and would have been embarrassed to even attempt it. She saw nothing wrong with it.
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