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Old 11-07-2013, 06:53 AM
 
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A couple of weeks ago, I was a party to someone who said, "As a rule, I just don't go to funerals. I mean, what possible purpose could it serve? It would bum me out [Yes, she said that] and the person is dead anyway."

Didn't quite know what to say. Wish I had this article handy:

Always Go to the Funeral : NPR
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Old 11-07-2013, 07:38 AM
 
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I never go to funeral. It doesn't bum me out but I got better things to do then sit there listening to people cry and be sad over a dead person. So yeah, when someone dies in my GF's family. She's going alone. When one of my friends die, I'm not there.
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Old 11-07-2013, 07:41 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
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I always dread going, but when I go, I feel better afterword for being able to say goodbye with others who loved the same person.

A few weeks ago a friend of my husband's died. It felt good to go & be able to let her go. On top of that, we saw a lot of friends that we haven't seen in years (due to living far away, but now we live close again) & now we see all of these friends regularly. So not only did we get to say goodbye, we were able to rekindle some friendships.

Yes it's sad, and it can be unconfortable, but...to each their own I guess.
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Old 11-07-2013, 07:52 AM
 
28,905 posts, read 46,707,147 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Yellow Jacket View Post
I never go to funeral. It doesn't bum me out but I got better things to do then sit there listening to people cry and be sad over a dead person. So yeah, when someone dies in my GF's family. She's going alone. When one of my friends die, I'm not there.
You can't possibly be a real person.
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Old 11-07-2013, 07:54 AM
 
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My boyfriend's father died when I was 21 yrs old. My parents and his parents did NOT see eye to eye. They thought I was wrong for him because we were different religions. My parents felt like his family was in a lower class.

I didn't relay the funeral details to my parents because I didn't see the point. Imagine my shock upon seeing my own father halfway up the left aisle. On a weekday afternoon. Over 20 yrs later and my ex STILL talks about that.
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Old 11-07-2013, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Southwestern, USA
15,350 posts, read 12,109,955 times
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Of course, you go to "the funeral". Why?

You go to honor the family...acknowledging their pain, offering your sympathy.
..To honor the deceased....as in, compare if 10 people show up or like one I went
to 900....( Boy, does it mean a lot to the family. They will always have that.)
It is not about "you" ...unless you would like to be with others grieving.

You can also go because it is a "good thing" to feel...feeeeel doing something not self~centered
....feeel your sadness at that loss.....feeel how their family is grieving so much....
Feeeel being human.
Or remain a self~centered robot, closed off to other human events and others' lives.

Sorry to be so blunt....but we are not robots....feeel your heart and others' pain...give
of yourself...plus, take over a roast a couple days later...trust me, nobody's eating in that houshold or
taking care of themselves for awhile...maybe drinking and using up all the tissues in the house,
catonic.
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Old 11-07-2013, 08:04 AM
 
Location: Wilsonville, OR
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I don't go to funerals. I find the very idea of a funeral to be creepy and offensive. Mourning should be a private thing! If I am going to honor the dead, I am going to do it in my own home away from other people. The last thing I want when mourning or grieving are prying eyes, unwanted comments and other people crying or trying to touch me.

I would never ask or expect anyone to come to my funeral. In fact, there isn't even going to be one. Why would I want to put other people through such a thing? That seems awfully selfish. If it's that important to others they can throw a private get-together some other time.

And besides, it's not like the dead person cares. Even if their mind still exists somehow, I doubt their funeral is among their concerns.

Last edited by Lunar Delta; 11-07-2013 at 08:26 AM..
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Old 11-07-2013, 08:12 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
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Over the past decade, I suspect I have been to about 1 funeral a year... but this past year I have been to 6, its been a bad year. I could NOT imagine simply not going. You don't go out of respect for the dead, you go out of respect for the living.
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Old 11-07-2013, 08:26 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
You can't possibly be a real person.
I am but I don't do things just because society may say that it is the proper thing to do. It's unfortunate for the deceased but I could be doing something more productive than sitting at funeral. It's not liek the deceased will be taking attendance.
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Old 11-07-2013, 08:34 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,819 posts, read 18,771,405 times
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For the last ten years I have been going to funerals left and right and I would never ever think about not going . Yes you go to honor the family , you go to honor the persons memory . I even go if I have to travel to it out of state especially if it is a family member or even an in law . I guess some people have something missing in their genes that would make them not want to go . I dont understand not going .
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