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Old 11-11-2013, 08:11 PM
 
1,472 posts, read 1,992,826 times
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Ok my Father in Law died four years ago. Right after his death my Mother in Law married an Old Boyfriend. Didn't take long she figured she had made a BIG Mistake.

He had a Girlfriend cares about her but she didn't have any money coming in so my Mother in Law was better. Obvious he was after money.

Shortly very Illegal things were going on bringing in more money she suspects he was behind this.

She calls my wife all the time how Bad he treats her mentally. She went to move here 600 miles from him. He offered to sell his place and move here into her house. She says well she thought maybe there was some feelings there so she didn't want to take him away from his family, so she sold her house but put the money in a trust for her kids. When he found out he got mad. Then back at his place she over heard him telling someone he never intended to move here

Thing is she is 80 years old, in her right mind, she is afraid to transfer her Social Security Check because she is afraid they will mess up. She don't feel safe around him and don't trust him. She thinks some times maybe it is just in her mind, he treats her like Gold when anyone else is around.

I told my wife just give the word and we will go get her. Wife says no she is wanting to wait until she is set up some where else. Thing is she never is.

Ok any ideas?

brushrunner
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Old 11-11-2013, 08:20 PM
 
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You could go to jail for just being in a house that contains illegal substances. Your wife may find her tale of whoa agitating and didn't want to hear about it anymore and didn't have the best relationship to begin with. Also, taking in a parent at any time is a HUGE thing to manage. I suggest looking up your local senior center which often takes trips and does a lot of things.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:19 PM
 
1,472 posts, read 1,992,826 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
You could go to jail for just being in a house that contains illegal substances. Your wife may find her tale of whoa agitating and didn't want to hear about it anymore and didn't have the best relationship to begin with. Also, taking in a parent at any time is a HUGE thing to manage. I suggest looking up your local senior center which often takes trips and does a lot of things.
What was done didn't involve illegal substances. It was far worse.

We have considered Senior Care her problem she has 3 Dogs.

brushrunner
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:21 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,024 posts, read 21,723,664 times
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I would go get her ASAP. She may be in her right mind, but she is being a manipulated! Many times the child becomes the parent. It's time for that to happen.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:22 PM
 
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Until your Mother in law asks for help specifically there really is nothing you can do legally.
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Old 11-11-2013, 09:31 PM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,754,510 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brushrunner View Post
What was done didn't involve illegal substances. It was far worse.

We have considered Senior Care her problem she has 3 Dogs.

brushrunner
That's why I suggested going to the Senior Center verses moving where she has no friends. The Senior Centers are not Senior care so she won't get scammed. She could just go during television time and stuff like that.
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Old 11-12-2013, 09:42 AM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,923,267 times
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Oh for cyring out loud, go get her. If your wife wants to "wait until she's set up somewhere" then that may be too late. Go get her and set her up once she's with you.
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Old 11-12-2013, 10:15 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,354 posts, read 16,827,643 times
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^^^ this.....
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Old 11-12-2013, 02:42 PM
 
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steelstress is right.
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Old 11-12-2013, 04:39 PM
 
Location: SoCal
6,063 posts, read 9,522,564 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
steelstress is right.
Ummm .... no!

A wedding is where one leaves one's parents and becomes a family with one's spouse. Not until *both* agree is it OK to bring a parent in to live with them. I would help my mother however I could to escape a situation like the OP described, except that I would never, ever, ever agree to live with her again (and it's almost certainly mutual).

OP, it does sound, though, like your MIL needs to get away from her husband. And sooner rather than later. Can you help her set up somewhere else? If she sold her house she has money - can she get enough back from the trust to set herself up somewhere else? At least make sure the husband has as little control as possible over any assets your MIL has.
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