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Yes. There is also the possibility that a preference for one's own group is a biological protection mechanism. Outside of Europe, Canada and the US, the embracing of diversity and multiculturalism is relatively rare.
I also think that ingroup preference is pretty much natural.
Human beings will naturally exhibit that preference to various degrees.
The contemporary western world is unusual in that those people with the least amount of ingroup preference have been able to completely and utterly shape the discourse on that issue.
Some of the commenters will be in shock and may never recover if they travel a bit and meet people who are pretty much fine human beings in many ways, but who simply don't buy into antiracism and diversity as an ideological infrastructure.
Hospitality towards strangers is an extremely common cultural pattern all over the world.
I'd even say that most cultures that I know of have mechanism for the insertion of a stranger into the community.
On the other hand, I can't think of many traditional cultures in which it was normal to be indifferent to large changes in the composition of the population. I can't think of many traditional cultures that value diversity as an unqualified good that one always needs more of.
I also think that ingroup preference is pretty much natural. Human beings will naturally exhibit that preference to various degrees.
The contemporary western world is unusual in that those people with the least amount of ingroup preference have been able to completely and utterly shape the discourse on that issue.
Some of the commenters will be in shock and may never recover if they travel a bit and meet people who are pretty much fine human beings in many ways, but who simply don't buy into antiracism and diversity as an ideological infrastructure.
Hospitality towards strangers is an extremely common cultural pattern all over the world.
I'd even say that most cultures that I know of have mechanism for the insertion of a stranger into the community.
On the other hand, I can't think of many traditional cultures in which it was normal to be indifferent to large changes in the composition of the population. I can't think of many traditional cultures that value diversity as an unqualified good that one always needs more of.
Appreciate the comments guys. You are right, I shouldn't say the whole family is racist since he is the only one who ever made a comment like that. I will distance myself and get over it.
I'm sorry for your problem. It's sad really. You felt you had a genuine friend and now ... Look where hate takes us.
If you read my response again you'll see that the word Racist was used in the original feed and I felt she wasn't racist. I don't think that her fear was about white's killing her son if he dated a white girl. This was over 25 years ago so I think it had more to do with the cultural differences, how these couples would be treated in public, and how the children of interracial relationships weren't excepted in either race over the years. This isn't just a black thing or a white thing, I have seen it in all race's and even have seen it within different nationality's from the same race. I try to see it from both sides and I try to come to an understanding that makes sense and can allow us to move on from there. We can't change the past and white people know what happened 100 years ago was wrong but that doesn't mean there is a free prejudice against other race pass forever for new generations of blacks. Why I say that is everyone was quick to say that guy's friend was racist and he needs to be burned at the stake along with his family because they must of taught him that. Then my post where it happened to me and the only difference was race, I got post saying it part it was because black's got hung for dating white girls during civil rights time and a bit beyond so it was ok their family (who felt the same way as the white family) to feel that way because they are black, that is a total cop out.
I'd never knew a non racist person until I met my wife. She was raised with disabled siblings and I think that shaped how she looked at people. Here's a small example from many years ago: She teaches special ed and she was telling me a story about how one of her aides calls in sick a lot. She never mentioned the aide was black. NO ONE I knew at that time would have left that fact out. It would have been 'the black aide'.
It made me look at my own prejudices, a truly non judgmental person can do that to you.
So... I'd say give the guy a chance. People can change, I did. Most of the worlds problems can be traced back to fear and/or ignorance and both of those things can be overcome.
Most people just assume the teacher is white and the teacher's aid is black.
I would cut off the friendship. It is regrettable if the rest of his family is decent, though.
I had a good friend who told me that the vast majority of White people are evil, but the -I- was different, one of the few good ones, but against the true nature of my race.
I just couldn't handle being friends with someone who could think the good and evil were racially dependant.
I would also end the friendship. I cannot tolerate certain types of people and racists are very high on the will not tolerate list. I can tolerate differing political views, but racism is not something I want to see and I would not want to be associated with someone harboring such views.
I've been very good friends with a guy I've known for about three years. We're bros. I just got off the phone with him and he explained that he doesn't agree with interracial dating/marriage. I was not expecting anything like that to come from him. He's white and I am black Puerto Rican. I asked him to explain further and he said mixing cultures is not a good thing. I wanted to punch him in the face through the phone.
Then I asked him how he can like me as a friend if I'm technically mixed. He said because I don't act like a "typical negro". I had to hang up the phone at that point. I am completely in disbelief that he could say that to me.
Thing is, I'm close to his whole family. I just never knew they were racist. How do I tell him to politely shove it up his ass?
I think he was very insensitive for saying that to you...Duh, you're mixed. However, if you look at the statistics, black Americans usually have problems with prison, out of wedlock births, etc. He probably does not want to get involved with those cultural problems. If you have not fallen prey to these somewhat typical scenarios, that does make you an exception. If he was truly racist, why would he make an exception for someone who is black but does not live a negative lifestyle? Maybe if you break it off with your friend and move to the hood somewhere and live among the kind of people he meant, you will want to give him a second chance. You could have told him...ok, well I don't approve of white trash.
If you are part black and are around negative blacks, they will hate you too. Look at the case with Richie Incognito and Jonathan Martin. The slavery mentality blacks are on the side of Incognito even though he was verbally abusing Martin, who is biracial and comes from a good family background. They count Incognito as a 'brother' because he isn't such an educated guy. If you were Jonathan Martin and dumped your friend for criticizing ignorant type blacks...who would you have left? Maybe you should ask him if it would bother him to see you date a white girl. I just don't think you have enough information.
I think many of you are guiding this man in the wrong direction.
Many of you are getting offended by what you are hearing without knowing the real details of this man's friendship.
If you distance yourself...then it will turn out that this white guy was RIGHT ABOUT YOU, you would be TYPICAL.
Get angry and get mad, but don't listen when OTHER people that get mad about only HEARING your story, advise you while NOT knowing the details.
If he is your best friend and HE HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING TO HURT YOU nor cheat you, then he is a friend for life!!!
IF he has cheated you and has betrayed you in even the littlest of ways, and that is what lead you to get mad at him, along with the comment he made, then he wasn't a friend.
TRUE FRIENDS don't leave each other over words...
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