U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-17-2013, 09:40 AM
 
Location: The A
386 posts, read 550,187 times
Reputation: 489

Advertisements

I've been very good friends with a guy I've known for about three years. We're bros. I just got off the phone with him and he explained that he doesn't agree with interracial dating/marriage. I was not expecting anything like that to come from him. He's white and I am black Puerto Rican. I asked him to explain further and he said mixing cultures is not a good thing. I wanted to punch him in the face through the phone.

Then I asked him how he can like me as a friend if I'm technically mixed. He said because I don't act like a "typical negro". I had to hang up the phone at that point. I am completely in disbelief that he could say that to me.

Thing is, I'm close to his whole family. I just never knew they were racist. How do I tell him to politely shove it up his ass?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:03 AM
 
533 posts, read 951,045 times
Reputation: 583
I probably just wouldn't be friends with him. I live in the deep south and don't have any racist friends. Racism is a huge "turn off" for me whether it's in friendship or romantic relationships.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:05 AM
 
Location: The A
386 posts, read 550,187 times
Reputation: 489
Quote:
Originally Posted by ggumbo View Post
I probably just wouldn't be friends with him. I live in the deep south and don't have any racist friends. Racism is a huge "turn off" for me whether it's in friendship or romantic relationships.
Definitely a turn off

I just don't want to lose the connection with his family who's always treated me well and done more than they should have for me. Know what I mean? It's a tough call but I cannot tolerate people with racist mindsets
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:07 AM
 
1,638 posts, read 2,606,866 times
Reputation: 2713
Quote:
Originally Posted by myspoonistoobig View Post
Definitely a turn off

I just don't want to lose the connection with his family who's always treated me well and done more than they should have for me. Know what I mean? It's a tough call but I cannot tolerate people with racist mindsets
So don't.

You'll never change his mind, either. You need to move on from this one if it's a dealbreaker.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:11 AM
 
533 posts, read 951,045 times
Reputation: 583
Quote:
Originally Posted by myspoonistoobig View Post
Definitely a turn off

I just don't want to lose the connection with his family who's always treated me well and done more than they should have for me. Know what I mean? It's a tough call but I cannot tolerate people with racist mindsets
Just tell him what he said was offensive to you and distance yourself. To be honest, it probably won't change the way he thinks, for some reason racism and homophobia and sexism are just things that some people just can't let go of, but at least maybe he will quit saying those kinds of things to you and other people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:14 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,668 posts, read 74,646,551 times
Reputation: 48187
most are racist. its not what u say or do, its who says it and who hears it that determines whether it is right or wrong.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Europe
2,730 posts, read 2,086,490 times
Reputation: 4158
I stop talking with them. Maybe sue them when time is right.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:18 AM
 
7,385 posts, read 13,240,802 times
Reputation: 8997
Your friend made the racist comment, not his family-- so don't deem them to be racist.

As for the friend, you can talk to him about how you felt. Just don't do it with the intention or hope you can change his mind. And start withdrawing. You could always Facebook the family and keep the connection that way.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:45 AM
 
Location: The A
386 posts, read 550,187 times
Reputation: 489
Appreciate the comments guys. You are right, I shouldn't say the whole family is racist since he is the only one who ever made a comment like that. I will distance myself and get over it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-17-2013, 10:55 AM
 
1,373 posts, read 2,482,738 times
Reputation: 1426
Wait, did a white boy say the N word to you? Next time you see him say I like you too, you are not the typical ......
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:57 PM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top