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Old 11-26-2013, 06:11 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,806 times
Reputation: 10

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I joined a local meet up group of singles and married people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s just for social fun, to enjoy the new city where I recently moved.

The evening started out fine. There were an equal number of men and women. I am a single woman in my early forties. One of the single men was in his late 30s.

At some point in the evening at the restaurant, this 38-year-old man decided to start commenting aloud about how cute the waitress was, in her early 20s.

I only found it rude because, did he think that he needed to let us older women at the table know that he wasn't interested in us or didn't find us attractive? I honestly was not there to pick up on anyone, just to enjoy the evening and try out a new restaurant and meet some new friends my age.

This guy could join the 20s and 30s group if he finds older women so unattractive. When I told him my age, he gave me that off handed "compliment" about looking good for my age.

Was his behavior making comments about the young waitress rude to the rest of us? Or was it just me who thought he was acting like a jerk?
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Old 11-26-2013, 06:24 PM
 
921 posts, read 1,586,408 times
Reputation: 2174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beaches13 View Post
I joined a local meet up group of singles and married people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s just for social fun, to enjoy the new city where I recently moved.

The evening started out fine. There were an equal number of men and women. I am a single woman in my early forties. One of the single men was in his late 30s.

At some point in the evening at the restaurant, this 38-year-old man decided to start commenting aloud about how cute the waitress was, in her early 20s.

I only found it rude because, did he think that he needed to let us older women at the table know that he wasn't interested in us or didn't find us attractive? I honestly was not there to pick up on anyone, just to enjoy the evening and try out a new restaurant and meet some new friends my age.

This guy could join the 20s and 30s group if he finds older women so unattractive. When I told him my age, he gave me that off handed "compliment" about looking good for my age.

Was his behavior making comments about the young waitress rude to the rest of us? Or was it just me who thought he was acting like a jerk?
None of us were there. We can't tell what exactly he said, how he acted, or whether your dinner companions were also offended.

Why don't you ask the other people that were there? See if they felt the same way as you did; they witnessed the same behavior, and I'm sure they'll have an opinion if they thought he crossed a line.
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Old 11-26-2013, 06:32 PM
 
25,948 posts, read 24,350,553 times
Reputation: 26601
My dad used to flirt with waitresses no matter who was with them. We were all out one night having dinner and he was doing his ass double takes and one time when he had his head turned following the waitresses rear end I blurted out real loud, "So, would you look at that!" Everyone in the family started laughing - busted.
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Old 11-26-2013, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
32,920 posts, read 31,410,658 times
Reputation: 59478
I doubt he was doing it with reference to you. I think he was just a horndog with bad manners.

For some reason certain people think it's OK to comment on the appearance of servers. I don't. At least not THAT loudly in the company of people you barely know.
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Old 11-26-2013, 06:44 PM
 
Location: Texas
41,041 posts, read 45,301,462 times
Reputation: 63216
It was not a date.

What is the problem?
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Old 11-26-2013, 07:02 PM
 
16,523 posts, read 20,321,940 times
Reputation: 29198
sounds like an inconsiderate dickweed

you should have said " dr phil has mentioned guys that stare and look at woman as objects do this to compensate for a short penis" its like short guys with big trucks


any guy with common sense or tact, does not comment on girls in their 20's , when 30-40 yr old ladies are around...
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Old 11-26-2013, 07:50 PM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
3,504 posts, read 3,324,034 times
Reputation: 7924
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beaches13 View Post
I joined a local meet up group of singles and married people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s just for social fun, to enjoy the new city where I recently moved.

The evening started out fine. There were an equal number of men and women. I am a single woman in my early forties. One of the single men was in his late 30s.

At some point in the evening at the restaurant, this 38-year-old man decided to start commenting aloud about how cute the waitress was, in her early 20s.

I only found it rude because, did he think that he needed to let us older women at the table know that he wasn't interested in us or didn't find us attractive? I honestly was not there to pick up on anyone, just to enjoy the evening and try out a new restaurant and meet some new friends my age.

This guy could join the 20s and 30s group if he finds older women so unattractive. When I told him my age, he gave me that off handed "compliment" about looking good for my age.

Was his behavior making comments about the young waitress rude to the rest of us? Or was it just me who thought he was acting like a jerk?
Two words come to mind - crude and rude. Who cares what this cretin finds attractive when it comes to the opposite sex? No doubt an attractivewoman with the insights and wisdom conferred upon her by a few extra years is too threatening to this immature refugee from the 8th grade locker room. I wouldn't bother to give him more than a frosty (and brief) greeting the next time you see him before turning your attention elsewhere. If this is a group that makes a practice of tolerating such behavior, join another one. Life's too short.
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Old 11-26-2013, 08:47 PM
 
1,297 posts, read 937,543 times
Reputation: 1430
Sounds like a creep. I'd just blatantly ignore anyone who made such comments and I'm in my 20's.
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Old 11-26-2013, 08:47 PM
 
Location: Texas
41,041 posts, read 45,301,462 times
Reputation: 63216
I don't have an issue questioning his class and manners.
Though a bit hypocritical that this behavior is only boorish in MIXED company.

However, I take issue with the sour grapes, bitter, green-eyed business about the 40-something's specifically being bothered by a man's attention to a younger woman. Seems mean girl snarky vs really questioning his manners. The complaint specifically references the contrast.

Meh.
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Old 11-26-2013, 09:00 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,871 posts, read 13,247,517 times
Reputation: 14488
No, it was rude - and would have been rude had the women with you been the same age as the waitress. While we are at it, it was rude to the waitress. It put her in an uncomfortable position. There is no need to make age comparisons as to the women involved - it's just immature behavior on his part in general. I hate when I see guys do that - and I always feel bad for the server. Why should she have to put up with that?

He reminds me of those gross older men in cartoons, in gold chains and unbuttoned shirts, etc. in the 80's trying to pick up younger women. They never seemed to catch on that the women thought they were jokes.
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