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Old 12-02-2013, 10:47 AM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,156,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Retired Now View Post
It was so quiet at Thanksgiving. The only sound was the fingers on the SmartPhone.

I would have much preferred some arguments and outspoken comments.
Oh, come on. One of you alleged adults should have demonstrated some spine. Seriously.

 
Old 12-02-2013, 10:49 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,150,392 times
Reputation: 22751
Quote:
Originally Posted by kygman View Post
That's the problem, Nodpete. Most parents don't want to tell their adult children anything like this because they're afraid they'll tell them no. A few years ago my wife and I had a family camping trip. One thing we told the kids was no cell phones. 3 did anyway. I asked them to stop and they stopped using it, in front of me. I took care of the matter. That night while most were gone to take a shower, I went in the tents, took the cell phones, and locked them in my car. Made them mad but I don't care. Family time is family time. No phones allowed and I wasn't afraid to make them mad!
When they came down for Thanksgiving, last year and this year, when it was time to eat, there weren't any cell phones being used!
And your adult children enjoy being with you?
 
Old 12-02-2013, 10:53 AM
 
12,535 posts, read 15,156,955 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
And your adult children enjoy being with you?
Are you really that afraid of disciplining children that you fear they won't talk to you when they grow up? Just curious. Because what Kyg described is routine parenting. When I was a kid, it was Gameboys. Today it's cell phones. Dining tables are for dining. "Put it away" is not exactly on par with abuse. It's expected, and should be done as a matter of setting boundaries. That's the only way kids learn manners.
 
Old 12-02-2013, 10:56 AM
 
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While I understand your frustration and grandma's frustration, you all should have asked if they could please put their phones away during dinner.
I had my phone away during dinner, after we got up from the table I went and checked to see if anyone had called/texted. No big deal. I'm sure if you all had asked them to please restrict the texting until after dinner was over, they probably would have. They probably just didn't realize it was rude...
 
Old 12-02-2013, 11:05 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,150,392 times
Reputation: 22751
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Are you really that afraid of disciplining children that you fear they won't talk to you when they grow up? Just curious. Because what Kyg described is routine parenting. When I was a kid, it was Gameboys. Today it's cell phones. Dining tables are for dining. "Put it away" is not exactly on par with abuse. It's expected, and should be done as a matter of setting boundaries. That's the only way kids learn manners.
My children are all adults; the youngest is 30.

No way I would be telling them to put away their cell phones when we are out and about together or when we are spending a weekend together at our vacation home.

I use my iPad and iPhone all day, as well as my computer, as do all the adult children and the g/kids, as well.

We are constantly exchanging apps and play a lot of computer games together, as well as downloading books . . . play Scrabble, Angry Birds and on the computer, War of Worldcraft.

We also have a family full of photographers and we are constantly taking photos, posting to instagram, FB, doing vines, and sharing it.

Our iPhones, iPads and computers are the way we communicate when we are apart and the way we share the moment while together.

We text each other from different parts of the house, rather than yell, lol.
 
Old 12-02-2013, 11:06 AM
 
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I feel the same as Grandma where it regards people just HAVING to watch the stupid football game on that day.

Gee whiz, can't the sports wait for a day? And for pete's sake, let the people working the concession stands etc have the holiday off. But no, we can't let that happen, just GOT to watch a game on that day. In our house, we in fact don't allow the game to be watched, at all, and up until yesterday had a convenient excuse--our old tube TV can't pick it up anyway, sorry. (We just yesterday got our 1st ever LCD TV.)

I am not anti-sports, I like basketball, but gee whiz, not on the holidays. I refuse to watch NBA games on Christmas Day for the same reason.

As for the phone thing, I think there's way too much complaining about cell phones, I myself sometimes take a quick peek at something & don't feel like people should make such a case of such. HOWEVER, I STILL engage in conversation with the people I'm with, and yes, I can certainly put mine away long enough to engage in talking with someone. To be GLUED to the thing & ignore your own grandmother during the meal--it's beyond rude, and I think the grandmother has every right to say something about it, she's grandma and it's her house.
 
Old 12-02-2013, 11:09 AM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,657,383 times
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Personally at Thanksgiving Dinner, I agree with Grandma. All cell phone forbidden at dinner. It is a day to get together and enjoy (hopefully!) each other's company. That said, it is your house, your rules.
 
Old 12-02-2013, 11:13 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,879 posts, read 77,150,392 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Mental health issues? Rudeness is not an issue of mental health. It's an issue of poor breeding and child-raising.

And if you (in the general) are an adult, you can act like one, and not kowtow to spoiled offspring who are adults themselves. If they want to make a stink about paying for their phones and therefore feeling like they should be able to use them at someone else's dinner table, then they are adult enough to be reminded that there is a time and place for everything, and again, your house, your rules.

Powder keg explosion? Come on. Who is going to yell and scream at an 84-year-old woman?

As for enablers, people who enable deserve what they get. Yes, it is that simple. You teach people how to treat you.
Um, I am glad your mother is not the CAUSE of most of the contention. Some of us have 84 year old mothers who instigate the drama.

Like I said . . . congrats that you don't have these situations to deal with.

We all had our cell phones and iPads with us this Thanksgiving (as we have for about 4 years now). One family member put on some appropriate music (Pandora) for our dining pleasure.

Several took photos of the table settings and posted them on Instagram and FB. Plus there was a lot of photo taking at the dining table. Candid shots were a lot of fun to share on the spot (FB, Instagram) . . .

The kids texted me (as hostess) when they needed another round of food at the table or a refill . . . and I texted my son to pour more wine.

The kids were challenging each other on a knowledge game while several adults watched the Macy's parade.

When it came time to clean up, I assigned duties via Group Text messages. (John - carry out garbage, Mary - gather up all silverware, etc).

And so forth.

ETA: One of the most fun Apps is Find Friends. We were able to track everyone's journey to our house and know within minutes when they would arrive -- and track everyone returning home safely.
 
Old 12-02-2013, 11:15 AM
 
Location: NYC
16,061 posts, read 26,657,383 times
Reputation: 24848
Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
Um, I am glad your mother is not the CAUSE of most of the contention. Some of us have 84 year old mothers who instigate the drama.

Like I said . . . congrats that you don't have these situations to deal with.

We all had our cell phones and iPads with us this Thanksgiving (as we have for about 4 years now). One family member put on some appropriate music (Pandora) for our dining pleasure.

Several took photos of the table settings and posted them on Instagram and FB. Plus there was a lot of photo taking at the dining table. Candid shots were a lot of fun to share on the spot (FB, Instagram) . . .

The kids texted me (as hostess) when they needed another round of food at the table or a refill . . . and I texted my son to pour more wine.

The kids were challenging each other on a knowledge game while several adults watched the Macy's parade.

When it came time to clean up, I assigned duties via Group Text messages. (John - carry out garbage, Mary - gather up all silverware, etc).

And so forth.

ETA: One of the most fun Apps is Find Friends. We were able to track everyone's journey to our house and know within minutes when they would arrive -- and track everyone returning home safely.
HA HA HA, this makes me feel so old, seems really strange!!! But obviously worked perfectly for you
 
Old 12-02-2013, 11:19 AM
 
1,420 posts, read 3,172,181 times
Reputation: 2257
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Retired Now View Post
most of the kids and young adults (ages 13-30) spent most of their time looking at their SmartPhones and texting. Very few of them said anything to their other relatives face to face using actual voices.
I knew (and you should have too) that this was going to happen. So, I just told them not to do it. They can text and use their electronics later.
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