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Old 12-04-2013, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Wonderland
67,652 posts, read 60,572,966 times
Reputation: 101051

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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Yeah, my liberal, non-religious self should really go to see my socially hyper-conservative, super-Christian extended family so we can start stupid arguments over a meal. Never mind that none of them have talked to me or my mother for years. Really.
Stay home then. I promise you -you won't be missed. Everyone will have a more enjoyable time - you included. You're not doing anyone a favor by being "there."

 
Old 12-04-2013, 07:43 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,979,764 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchamp Dude View Post

I have a huge family of rando uncles, aunts, cousins and grand-parent figures I haven't associated myself with in years, though I keep hearing they are upset I am so disconnected and that they "need" to see me.

In a situation like that, I'm only doing them a favour if I show up, as I clearly do not need an extended family and unnecessary gift-buying and chatter to up my self-worth.

And yes, my devices and social media, and my work phone always are tied to me like an appendage. And I'm sorry it offended you that I'm not listening to how you made your cookies which only make me fat.
Can you spell Narcissistic ???

Have you ever done things just for someone else??

In our family the elders are honored..Period..
If Grandma didn't want anyone wearing red to the dinner table we would happily go change ...seriously..
 
Old 12-04-2013, 07:46 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
Can you spell Narcissistic ???

Have you ever done things just for someone else??

In our family the elders are honored..Period..
If Grandma didn't want anyone wearing red to the dinner table we would happily go change ...seriously..
Can YOU spell doormat???
 
Old 12-04-2013, 07:49 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,979,764 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Can YOU spell doormat???
Funny thing is that when you respect & honor others it comes right back at you..
 
Old 12-04-2013, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
Funny thing is that when you respect & honor others it comes right back at you..
Will you at least agree that there is a limit? If I came to family's house in NC wearing a red shirt and I'm asked to change just because an elder didn't like it, I'd get back in my car and drive home to Virginia. I would not tolerate that for one minute when I drove a long way to be there.
 
Old 12-04-2013, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Leeds, UK
22,118 posts, read 29,517,076 times
Reputation: 8819
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
Funny thing is that when you respect & honor others it comes right back at you..
So if you don't conform to whatever an elderly person wants, that is disrespecting her and she in turn won't respect you? Insane stuff.
 
Old 12-04-2013, 08:00 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,979,764 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Will you at least agree that there is a limit? If I came to family's house in NC wearing a red shirt and I'm asked to change just because an elder didn't like it, I'd get back in my car and drive home to Virginia. I would not tolerate that for one minute when I drove a long way to be there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dunno what to put here View Post
So if you don't conform to whatever an elderly person wants, that is disrespecting her and she in turn won't respect you? Insane stuff.
In our family there is not a battle of the wills, control issues..
It's just putting others first..
 
Old 12-04-2013, 08:13 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
In our family there is not a battle of the wills, control issues..
It's just putting others first..
Which can lead to doormat syndrome if you are not careful. In the shirt example, it is the grandma who has the g^*d(&n control issues, not me just because I will not tolerate it.
 
Old 12-04-2013, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon View Post
Stay home then. I promise you -you won't be missed. Everyone will have a more enjoyable time - you included. You're not doing anyone a favor by being "there."
Exactly.

Holidays with extended family. #overrated
 
Old 12-04-2013, 08:23 PM
 
8,583 posts, read 15,979,764 times
Reputation: 11355
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Which can lead to doormat syndrome if you are not careful. In the shirt example, it is the grandma who has the g^*d(&n control issues, not me just because I will not tolerate it.

If you live in a world of battling for and demanding rights then you would not understand..
In a loving family we all try as hard as we can to do for the others..
The shirt was just an example that if Grandma gets senile and that makes her happy
we would all humor her and laugh about it..
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