Multiple Thanksgiving dinner family issues (all same OP) (wedding, drifting, aging)
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Yeah, my liberal, non-religious self should really go to see my socially hyper-conservative, super-Christian extended family so we can start stupid arguments over a meal. Never mind that none of them have talked to me or my mother for years. Really.
Stay home then. I promise you -you won't be missed. Everyone will have a more enjoyable time - you included. You're not doing anyone a favor by being "there."
I have a huge family of rando uncles, aunts, cousins and grand-parent figures I haven't associated myself with in years, though I keep hearing they are upset I am so disconnected and that they "need" to see me.
In a situation like that, I'm only doing them a favour if I show up, as I clearly do not need an extended family and unnecessary gift-buying and chatter to up my self-worth.
And yes, my devices and social media, and my work phone always are tied to me like an appendage. And I'm sorry it offended you that I'm not listening to how you made your cookies which only make me fat.
Can you spell Narcissistic ???
Have you ever done things just for someone else??
In our family the elders are honored..Period..
If Grandma didn't want anyone wearing red to the dinner table we would happily go change ...seriously..
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237
Funny thing is that when you respect & honor others it comes right back at you..
Will you at least agree that there is a limit? If I came to family's house in NC wearing a red shirt and I'm asked to change just because an elder didn't like it, I'd get back in my car and drive home to Virginia. I would not tolerate that for one minute when I drove a long way to be there.
Will you at least agree that there is a limit? If I came to family's house in NC wearing a red shirt and I'm asked to change just because an elder didn't like it, I'd get back in my car and drive home to Virginia. I would not tolerate that for one minute when I drove a long way to be there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by dunno what to put here
So if you don't conform to whatever an elderly person wants, that is disrespecting her and she in turn won't respect you? Insane stuff.
In our family there is not a battle of the wills, control issues..
It's just putting others first..
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237
In our family there is not a battle of the wills, control issues.. It's just putting others first..
Which can lead to doormat syndrome if you are not careful. In the shirt example, it is the grandma who has the g^*d(&n control issues, not me just because I will not tolerate it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,691 posts, read 41,629,721 times
Reputation: 41324
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Stay home then. I promise you -you won't be missed. Everyone will have a more enjoyable time - you included. You're not doing anyone a favor by being "there."
Which can lead to doormat syndrome if you are not careful. In the shirt example, it is the grandma who has the g^*d(&n control issues, not me just because I will not tolerate it.
If you live in a world of battling for and demanding rights then you would not understand..
In a loving family we all try as hard as we can to do for the others..
The shirt was just an example that if Grandma gets senile and that makes her happy
we would all humor her and laugh about it..
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