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Old 12-06-2013, 12:24 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,016,830 times
Reputation: 22370

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I agree with others. I am concerned for YOU . . . and you are right - with oxy in the mix . . . this is going to get bad.

If there is any way you can get her out of your apartment - immediately - then do it. I love the dog allergies. She will doubtless protest that this is true . . . just don't discuss it . . . just tell her you are not interested in discussing it . . . "it is what it is and so sorry . . . you are going to have to leave." Set a deadline and make it a matter of HOURS, not weeks.

I have never known of a Ph.D. program that allowed a person to be enrolled more than 7 years. But I have known several people who SAID they were working on degrees when they were taking some classes - and not even enrolled fulltime in a program.

You don't need to do one more thing for your sister. She sounds delusional . . . and yes, I have seen SWF . . . and sadly, that scenario is not unique. These types of things can happen in real life, with folks who are dealing with mental health issues, not to mention powerful drugs . . .
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Old 12-06-2013, 12:45 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 60,482,869 times
Reputation: 22275
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedasusual View Post
She is 34. She is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from loans, but she inherited money when my mom passed away this year (we all did). Instead of paying off the loans, she is hoarding the money.

I honestly don't believe that she was in school the whole time during those 14 years, but that is what she tells everyone. We aren't stupid-- it doesn't take that long and many schools will kick you out after a time.
Well you can't force her to change. I think you can help her but with very firm limits on what that help would be.

Sometimes just being friends and spending time with someone is the best help you can give. I'd keep her at arms length on any financial kind of thing, but emotionally you can be supportive.

Depression sounds like a problem -- but nothing stops you from going out to dinner together, taking a fun trip together, being the best pals. But keep money and finances out of it. I don't think you should live together.
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Old 12-06-2013, 01:35 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,872 posts, read 13,497,465 times
Reputation: 29030
Quote:
Originally Posted by confusedasusual View Post
She is 34. She is hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt from loans, but she inherited money when my mom passed away this year (we all did). Instead of paying off the loans, she is hoarding the money ...
If her physician has bounced her, the money she is hording is about to be spent on the black market to support her habit because that's more of a priority to an addict than paying off debts or setting up a secure home. It could also be a reason for her sudden desire to move to your city. Local doctors often warn each other of patients who are drug shopping. She might be cut off all over her current location. For many addicts, the lure of the "geographic cure" includes a new neighborhood full of doctors who haven't met them yet. And your location comes with a bonus: a sister who (as she no doubt sees it through her fractured prism) "owes her."

This speeding, out-of-control train is about to jump the tracks and flip over. GET OUT OF THE WAY!

(PS: Take notes; this is your second book.)
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Old 12-08-2013, 12:38 AM
 
Location: Man with a tan hat
799 posts, read 1,311,893 times
Reputation: 1443
ooohh lAWDY this one sounds like one hot mess. I would stay far far away.
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