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Old 12-04-2013, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Arlington, VA and Washington, DC
23,635 posts, read 33,429,727 times
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..........because I simply don't have a relationship with them, excluding my mother who I am close with. As an offshoot of all the family drama threads, I am happy I do not have this problem. I am a polar opposite of most in my family. My family is highly religious, socially conservative, and mostly blue collar. I am not religious, socially liberal, and college-educated and white collar. The potential for arguments is very high. I have not had a substantive conversation with any of them in a few years, mainly because none of them reached out to me. Why would I reach out to people who don't seem interested? I could only imagine the BS that would happen at the table.

I have friends who I've gotten close with that have taken the place of extended family for myself personally speaking. I don't feel anything is wrong with not having a relationship with uninterested family.
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Old 12-04-2013, 04:44 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,643,126 times
Reputation: 39049
"I have no drama on the holidays with extended family....."

I don't either!

.

But we all get along, even with different views on politics, religion, and most other subjects.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
I don't feel anything is wrong with not having a relationship with uninterested family.
From your post, it sounds like you are the one who is not interested in a relationship....
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Old 12-04-2013, 06:15 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,271 posts, read 20,093,139 times
Reputation: 12992
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
..........because I simply don't have a relationship with them, excluding my mother who I am close with. As an offshoot of all the family drama threads, I am happy I do not have this problem. I am a polar opposite of most in my family. My family is highly religious, socially conservative, and mostly blue collar. I am not religious, socially liberal, and college-educated and white collar. The potential for arguments is very high. I have not had a substantive conversation with any of them in a few years, mainly because none of them reached out to me. Why would I reach out to people who don't seem interested? I could only imagine the BS that would happen at the table.

I have friends who I've gotten close with that have taken the place of extended family for myself personally speaking. I don't feel anything is wrong with not having a relationship with uninterested family.
I completely agree with you. I don't understand this whole holiday family time thing.

To me, family means somebody you love and love you back. I would definitely consider my parents, brothers and sister, and my nephews my family. I also have many really good friends. But extended family, no thank you. I don't care about them and I am not going to feel guilty about it.

I enjoyed a quiet thanksgiving with my family. That is all I need really.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:01 PM
 
811 posts, read 1,039,315 times
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If I had my way man, I'd free some cattle in the paddy fields, put my extended family under the ploughs and feed flooded areas of the Philippines
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:33 PM
 
Location: Leeds, UK
22,234 posts, read 23,662,203 times
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Nor do I. The only people in my family I talk to with any frequency are my mother, sister and grandmother.
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Old 12-05-2013, 03:53 AM
 
191 posts, read 221,329 times
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Sometimes, in order to bask in the sun, you must step away from the family tree.

Sent from my Nexus 4 using Tapatalk
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Old 12-05-2013, 07:37 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,892 posts, read 21,720,420 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
..........because I simply don't have a relationship with them, excluding my mother who I am close with. As an offshoot of all the family drama threads, I am happy I do not have this problem. I am a polar opposite of most in my family. My family is highly religious, socially conservative, and mostly blue collar. I am not religious, socially liberal, and college-educated and white collar. The potential for arguments is very high. I have not had a substantive conversation with any of them in a few years, mainly because none of them reached out to me. Why would I reach out to people who don't seem interested? I could only imagine the BS that would happen at the table.

I have friends who I've gotten close with that have taken the place of extended family for myself personally speaking. I don't feel anything is wrong with not having a relationship with uninterested family.
Meh, I don't have any drama either. Half of my family is highly religious and socially conservative and all are blue collar. I'm not. But we all love each other and respect each others views and life styles. I really enjoy sharing a meal and spending time with all my family. It gives us time to catch up on one another's lives and reminisce about those who are no longer with us.

I'm excited about next years holiday get togethers because there will be three new babies in the family. It has been a long time since there have been little ones around. My sis and brother can tell them stories about Santa and baby Jesus while I scare them with tales of Krampus.
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Old 12-05-2013, 07:42 AM
 
1,420 posts, read 2,636,015 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
I am not religious, [and I am] socially liberal,

You are now my friend and you can spend holidays with us any time you want.
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Old 12-05-2013, 07:55 AM
 
Location: Wonderland
44,742 posts, read 36,145,910 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Meh, I don't have any drama either. Half of my family is highly religious and socially conservative and all are blue collar. I'm not. But we all love each other and respect each others views and life styles. I really enjoy sharing a meal and spending time with all my family. It gives us time to catch up on one another's lives and reminisce about those who are no longer with us.

I'm excited about next years holiday get togethers because there will be three new babies in the family. It has been a long time since there have been little ones around. My sis and brother can tell them stories about Santa and baby Jesus while I scare them with tales of Krampus.
Right on.

We have a very diverse family, from religious views, to politics, race and ethnicity, ages, etc. Couple of things we don't talk about at large family gatherings - politics and sex. A couple of things we tolerate politely when others bring it up and we disagree - religion and philosophical stances.

We enjoy some interesting family traditions that take the place of those sorts of topics and bond us together - we swap funny family stories, we have family talent shows, we LISTEN to others as they share their ideas and lives, rather than sitting there formulating how we're going to debate them on their opinions. The young adults stand around outside with my elderly dad while he boils the country ham in the big black iron put over a fire. They tolerate his recitation of "The Shooting of Dan McGrew" and he tolerates them (his "babies") smoking in front of him, or describing the latest Call of Duty game.

Live and let live. I know many other families aren't like that, and I'm sorry. Ours is.

Of COURSE it's not a perfect family - we have some real doozies when it comes to some family members. There are several who are difficult - more adamant about their political or moral views (in our family it's the most liberal or anti religious people who are the most confrontational). We have a way of handling them gently. We simply say, "Let's not discuss that. Everyone here has their own views and we're not here to argue." So far, that's worked well.
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Old 12-05-2013, 08:10 AM
 
Location: Englewood, Near Eastside Indy
8,340 posts, read 14,099,174 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
..........because I simply don't have a relationship with them, excluding my mother who I am close with. As an offshoot of all the family drama threads, I am happy I do not have this problem. I am a polar opposite of most in my family. My family is highly religious, socially conservative, and mostly blue collar. I am not religious, socially liberal, and college-educated and white collar. The potential for arguments is very high. I have not had a substantive conversation with any of them in a few years, mainly because none of them reached out to me. Why would I reach out to people who don't seem interested? I could only imagine the BS that would happen at the table.

I have friends who I've gotten close with that have taken the place of extended family for myself personally speaking. I don't feel anything is wrong with not having a relationship with uninterested family.
Kind of sounds like you pushed them away because you think you're better than them.

I also don't have a lot of family drama; because I am able to show respect to all of them, even the ones I don't agree with politically.
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