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Your mother's Italian - and I suppose you are also then - and you don't know why she'll worry about her unmarried 40 yr old son forever?! Come on, that's what Italian mothers DO! You have no woman in your life so she HAS to worry about you or she will be kicked out of the Italian Mama's guild.
Does she work for a living? Maybe you're all she has to occupy herself with. She might not have all that much control over her grandchildren since their parents are taking care of them. Since she's not with your father, it's not as though she can make plans to go out to dinner or dancing or travel.
She has worked but not anymore. She feels like I don't have anyone to take care of me, I think. As if I needed a woman to take care of me hahaha.
She has a very good social life with her friends but she always seems to find time to worry about me.
Your mother's Italian - and I suppose you are also then - and you don't know why she'll worry about her unmarried 40 yr old son forever?! Come on, that's what Italian mothers DO! You have no woman in your life so she HAS to worry about you or she will be kicked out of the Italian Mama's guild.
I'm Swiss-Italian. My father is a Swiss German but my German name wouldn't be a good user name.
I suppose my mother never got used to the extremely important Swiss value of privacy, even after all these years of living here.
Because I'm almost 40 and I've never been married.
She is obviously wondering why you're almost 40 and not married - and she may be thinking "is he gay?"
Since she and your father divorced, the focus of her "attention" - your father - is gone. You inherited that position, because you're her only son who isn't married or attached long-term to a woman.
Also, have you ever considered that she may be wanting grandchildren?
She is obviously wondering why you're almost 40 and not married - and she may be thinking "is he gay?"
She knows my personality better than anyone. She should know why I won't marry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowpoke_TX
Since she and your father divorced, the focus of her "attention" - your father - is gone. You inherited that position, because you're her only son who isn't married or attached long-term to a woman.
We were always the focus of her attention, it just got more intense after she and my father separated
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowpoke_TX
Also, have you ever considered that she may be wanting grandchildren?
She already has 4 grandsons from my elder brothers.
Standard response: you can't change the person, only how you react to them.
Acknowledge and deflect?
Mama: "here you are 40 YEARS OLD! and still not married! I worry so for you!"
You: "I know you worry, Mama. Hey, I heard you and Mrs. Canneloni had an awesome <insert social event>! How did that go?"
Basically, acknowledge that she has those concerns, then send the conversation in a different direction. Lather, rinse, repeat. You aren't going to be able to change her worries; she probably thinks she'll wear you down, eventually, and you'll do as she wishes. If you are settled on your life, all you can do is acknowledge that you've heard the conversation for the 1 zillionth time, then show that you aren't interested in discussing it further by changing the subject.
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