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Old 12-08-2013, 01:08 PM
Location: Georgia
4,560 posts, read 4,073,768 times
Reputation: 15762


Well, she was probably a little miffed that you didn't follow her advice in the first place. However, she's out of line getting peeved about a deal that you've already gone through with, so WTH? Maybe she's just having a bad day, or maybe you've been sharing too much her with your home search and she's tired of it.

Either way, she'll get over it. Good luck, hope it works out for you!
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Old 12-08-2013, 01:15 PM
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,804 posts, read 41,495,107 times
Reputation: 82280
Control freak.

Don't tell her your plans in advance. You should not have sent the comparison photos.

From now on, don't share anything you're "considering" with her. Don't share until it's a done deal.

And for Pete's sake, if you have kids, DON'T tell her what you plan to name the baby until AFTER it's born.
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Old 12-08-2013, 02:50 PM
7,496 posts, read 9,726,980 times
Reputation: 7394
Originally Posted by whatisthedealwith View Post
I am buying an apartment in an NYC co-op. Or trying. I just picked a place a few days ago and have an offer in. I have been looking for months.

I sent photos to my sibling who lives in Atlanta (as well as my other siblings) just as an FYI. I had also sent photos of a few others I was thinking about and she really liked a great one, but it just needed too much work (gutted), and though it was huge it was wayyy too expensive to make sense. She lives in a prefab suburban house with plenty of space that costs about 1/4 of what this apartment will cost.

I sent her my listing and said "hey this is the place I am going to make an offer on" and instead of just saying "congrats!" she went on and on about how she didn't like the kitchen. Admittedly, by prefab Atlanta house standards, its a small kitchen-- by Manhattan standards, its HUGE. It was redone two years ago and is extremely well designed with chef grade appliances.

She called me this morning to complain again about the kitchen. I gently let her know it was my choice and my apartment, and besides I don't cook much and don't need a ton of space. She then said "Well, I guess its your bad investment to have such a small place for so much money. I won't be visiting!" and basically hung up on me.

What???? what is wrong with this woman?
How rude! That kind of situation is why I don't ask family for advice on anything.

Originally Posted by LarsMac View Post
Having too much space spoils you. I have seen what y'all call a large apartment in the City. Here in Colorado we call those, 'closets'

But hey, it's in New York. I have friends in the City that wonder how we can deal with having so much space out here.
Give it another ten years and there'll be no room for us to move around either if people keep moving here.
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Old 12-08-2013, 05:24 PM
Location: Man with a tan hat
799 posts, read 1,313,333 times
Reputation: 1443
Originally Posted by Jukesgrrl View Post
Perhaps imagining you getting settled in New York has her questioning decisions she has made in her past. No matter how nice, a southern suburban home is quite a different lifestyle from a the buzz of a Manhattan co-op. That's certainly no excuse for her rudeness but it would explain this particular incident. Her saying that she won't ever visit is not about the kitchen. It's her subconscious saying, "OMG, this is really happening. If I see this place in person I'll have a jealousy meltdown."
LMAO. Do you perchance know my sister?

I think you are correct.
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Old 12-08-2013, 06:56 PM
5,702 posts, read 16,143,184 times
Reputation: 8567
Congrats on the new place. I know what it feels like to have nay sayers or people that simply don't have your best interests in mind. I have moved a few times and purchased 5 different homes. I learned after the first house purchase not to get advice from anyone. Relatives are told after we have closed and if they have something negative to say I respond with, "Thank you for your concern but we are quite happy with our decision."

Enjoy your new place.
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Old 12-08-2013, 06:56 PM
13,675 posts, read 13,514,075 times
Reputation: 39794
Laugh her off. Sounds like kind of an unhappy person. No point in letting her drag you into her little club of the perpetually offended.

Frankly, when people pull stuff like that, I just giggle and it makes a good story the next time I'm at the bar. Really, who reacts to someone else's kitchen like that?

Totally and sadly cray cray.
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Old 12-08-2013, 07:21 PM
35,120 posts, read 40,051,684 times
Reputation: 62030
eh, who cares, with her not talking to you now you will get some peace, won't have to deal with a chronologically aged woman sulking like a 3 year old, you get the place YOU want and since she won't be visiting you don't have to deal with her sulking in person either, sounds like a winning situation to me.
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Old 12-08-2013, 09:47 PM
Location: Coastal California
225 posts, read 316,342 times
Reputation: 965
Sounds like she has a touch of the green-eyed monster.

Pay no attention.

You like the place, can afford it, and it will suit your needs. Hopefully she is in a home that fits her needs.

Yes, it would be nice to hear 'Congratulations', but let it be water under the bridge. Maybe someday she will see it in person and like it.

The only thing we have from cradle to grave is our siblings. Let it go and be happy, and proud of yourself for making such a wise decision.
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Old 12-09-2013, 09:58 AM
912 posts, read 1,246,025 times
Reputation: 2275
Yeah, that's just a bad case of jealousy. Annoying, but I'd let it go.

She's projecting her life desires on to you -- is she happy in her big house in Atlanta? Does she secretly wish she was getting to make this NYC real-estate purchase instead of you?

So yeah, rude and jealous, but let it go because anything you say at this point will just be turning this particular molehill into a mountain.
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Old 12-09-2013, 10:02 AM
Status: "Things change. Can I?" (set 27 days ago)
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,567,486 times
Reputation: 3810
Jealousy, I bet.
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